GROUP BIBLE STUDIES ON CHRISTIAN
MARRIAGE
By Revd Dr Ifechukwu U. Ibeme
e-mail: [email protected]
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CONTENTS:
STUDY 1: THE CONCEPT OF CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE
STUDY 2: THE DEVELOPMENT OF MARRIAGE CUSTOMS
STUDY 3: THE PROCESS OF GETTING MARRIED
STUDY 1: THE CONCEPT OF CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE
TEXT: GEN 2:18-25; Matt 19:3-12
A.
THE BASIS OF CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE
From
the Institution of marriage by God at Eden (Gen 2:18-25) and the Instruction on
marriage by Christ (Mark 10:1-12) and His Apostles (1Cor 7:8-17,39; Heb 13:4),
the Church has been able to deduce the Divine Intention about marriage as
follows:
(i)
Christian Marriage: “Is a life long union and
partnership between one Christian man and one Christian woman to the exclusion
of all others”. (All Anglican Constitutions).
(ii)
Christian marriage Solemnization (or Marriage “IN THE LORD”, i.e. “according to God’s
ordinance”): “Is marriage in which a
Christian man and a Christian woman entering into life-long exclusive union, for better for worse, till death parts
them, take their vows before God and the Church and seek God’s grace and the
Church’s blessing to fulfill such holy and honorable vows”. (The Revised Anglican Catechism)
B.
DISCUSSIONS
1.
What three main purposes could you say that marriage was intended for? See Book of Common Prayer (BCP).
(i)
Gen 1:28; 1Tim
3:4 and 12; 1Cor 7:14.
(ii)
Gen 2:18.
Eccl4:9-12
(iii)
Gen 2:24; 1Cor 7:
1-5
2. (i)
What does marriage symbolize about
our relationship with God or with Christ?
Jer 3:14; Eph. 5:22- 33;
(ii) Could you make other biblical references?
3. What do these seven distinctive of Christian
marriage mean to us today? Discuss
(i)
Man-Woman natural
relationship Rom 1:24-27.
(ii)
Exclusive
monogamous union
(iii)
Life-long,
indissoluble covenant Rom 7:1-3
(iv)
Joined in God’s
Name i.e. By God or in the Lord 1 Cor 7:39
(v)
As originally
instituted by God
(vi)
Spouses leave
parents to cleave together Gen 2:24; Ps 45:10, 16.
(vii)
Good, holy and
honorable Prov. 18:22.
STUDY 2: THE DEVELOPMENT OF MARRIAGE CUSTOMS
INTRODUCTION
True
marriage customs is that instituted by God in
1.
Patriarchal Period (from Noah to
Moses).
This
period, authority for validating and joining marriages was in the hands of the
patriarchs as clan Heads (Gen 24:1-6,31). This is somewhat similar to our traditional
marriages today.
(a) What marriage pitfalls were introduced during this
period? (e.g. Polygamy, Divorce, ( Concubinage etc)
(b) What problems do we have with such pitfalls today?
(c) What further distortions of marriage are still coming
in through our traditional and civil marriage system today (e.g. Single motherhood,
Moving-in without marriage, Pregnant bride wedding, etc).
2.
Kingdom Period (After Exodus).
The
Law of Moses transferred the marriage validation authority to the City-Gate
courts of Elders (Deut 4:11-13). This is similar to our civil marriages today.
(a) What pitfalls came along during this time? (1kings
11:1-8, etc).
(b) How problematic have these remained for us today?
3.
Post-Exile Period (After the
return from Babylonian captivity)
From
the time of Ezra the Rabbi (see Ezra 9 and 10), the synagogues and their Rabbis
replaced the City-Gate courts. Ever
since, marriage validation and joining (even dissolution) among the Jews began
to be held ONLY in the synagogue. There
the Rabbi ensured that all was done on the basis of the Scripture.
(a) What marriage corrections came in under the Rabbis who
were learned in the scriptures? (e.g Divorce limitation Mal 2:16;
unequal yoke prohibition Ezr 9:1-4;Neh 13:23-27;etc).
(b) How much has the Church Clergy of today improved on
these reforms?
4.
Church Age (After the
Pentecost).
Led
by the Holy Spirit, the Apostles shifted synagogue activities including
marriage validating authority) to the locally gathered church and her clergy;
hence the phrase, “marriage IN THE LORD” (1Cor 7:39).
(a) What corrections or reforms were brought on marriage
at this time? E.g. Monogamy 2Tim3:12;
Marriage ONLY in the Lord 1Cor 7:39; Indissoluble till death Rom 7:1-3; Matt
19:7-9; No unequal yoking 2Cor 6:14; etc).
(b) How far are you prepared to insist on patterning your
marriage and those of your dependants after the Scripture?
(c) When and where do you suppose marriages are covenanted
according to God’s holy ordinance as taught by Christ?
(d) Do traditional and civil marriages qualify to
authorize Christians to begin to live as husbands and wives? 0r should they not
wait till they are joined according to God’s holy ordinance by the Church.
STUDY 3: THE PROCESS OF GETTING MARRIED
INTRODUCTION
After
a man has desired and decided to get married, and prayerfully discovered
who he thinks the wife should be, there remains certain stages and procedures
to go through, before coming to the point of receiving valid authority and
approval to live as husband and wife.
(a) How important is it for those with prospects of
getting married to have good understanding of the principles, purpose and process of Christian
marriage before going into marriage?
(b) How could this knowledge and understanding be
acquired?
(c) Should marriage counseling begin at this
preliminary stage?
1.
Stage of Consent/Agreement: When intentions for marriage are declared,
accepted and confirmed.
(a) Apart from ensuring that your intended partner
shares the same faith and commitment to Christ with you (1Cor 6:14), what medical tests are necessary before one
gives a definite consent for marriage? (e.g
serious incurable and transmissible
diseases like HIV and Sickle cell, etc).
(b) What social enquiries should be made about your
intended spouse?
(c) How important are these precautions?
2.
Stage of Commitment/Engagement:
When the would-be spouses are betrothed by their families and proper family
requirements are fulfilled.
(a) All
Anglican Church constitutions allow traditional betrothals and engagements for
our members on the condition that
the ceremonies MUST NOT BE IDOLATROUS nor
anti-Christian. Mention some of those things
Christians must strive to avoid during traditional engagements.
(b) Parental consent is important for marriage but
ONLY the Church and her Clergy has the valid authority to join Christian couples IN THE LORD. How is this demonstrated during our wedding
service?
(c)
Are traditional and civil marriages adequate to authorize Christians to
live as husbands and wives? Why?
3. Stage of Covenant/Solemnization:
When the bride and groom are joined or wedded to become husband and wife in a
marriage covenant that is according to the teachings of Christ. This marks the true and valid beginning of
lifelong matrimony for Christians. ONLY
from this point is the couple free to consummate their union as one flesh (Gen
2:25).
(a) The Church expects that couples who come for joining
should be chaste (hence the veil Gen 24:63) and morally pure (hence the white gown Eph 5:27). In what objective way could the Church
possibly ascertain the sincerity of
the couple in this regard?
(b) In the Anglican Church “WHITE” is the color for purity
(Rev 19:8,) hence the Church has reserved white wedding for marriages that have followed full Christian
standards. In the event of remarriage of
widows or marriage blessing for couples already
with child (pregnant or born), white wedding is not used, but gowns of other colors are allowed. Many couples prefer pink,
following the tradition in some Asian countries. What do you feel and think about this corrective measure?
(c) Why do you think it is necessary to inform the
Parish Priest and the Church of wedding intentions at last 3 months before the date?
(d) What other responsibilities are intending couples
expected to fulfill towards the Church?
(e) Should the officiating Minister charge his
marrying parishioners for his services before he agrees to conduct the solemnization? If not what do you think is appropriate and
why?
Last revised: October 27,
2006
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