He just goes on and on...
I sit here and type.  My eyes are getting heavy.  I've gotten an average of
5 hours of sleep a night for the past week.  Not so bad, some of you might
say.  It's different, because I need to get up early each morning. 
Tests, quizzes, all that shiznit.  (Bleeding spell checker, underlining
"shiznit" in red. You'd think ol' Mirriam-Webster could keep up with the
lingo nowadays, but I guess not.)
   I know what you're thinking.  Oh great, another "I-hate-school rant."  This
should be fun.  Not to mention original.  Pardon me while I forcibly pour
piping-hot ejaculate into my eyes to keep the words from reaching my brain. 
But guess what?  You're absolutely right.  So started wanking, because
you're going to need a lot of ejaculate by the time this article is done.
   Now it isn't so much the "hard work" aspect of school that pisses me off. 
I can understand that.  Anything I do in life from now on is going to be a
horrible soul-crushing experience, so I might as well get a taste of what
life in the future is going to be like now.  But what buggers me in the bum
is the sheer pointlessness of most everything they teach us.  Not to mention
some of the stuff which is blatantly harmful.  I'm going to talk a little
bit about history class, because it's pretty obvious there.
   Let me give you an example.  For history class we needed to memorize
Africa.  Where every country was, the name, and the capital.  Ok, this is a
pretty stupid assignment, considering that this is equivalent to around 150
objects we are memorizing.  It's even worse for short-term memory people
like me who probably can't even remember your name, even if I've sat in back
of you for a year and a half and have been screwing you sister for the past
few months.  But that's all we do.  Country and capital.  Now I agree that
knowing where countries are is important to give us perspective on the
world.  But right after we do that we immediately move on to memorizing the
names and capitals of Asia and the Middle East.  It's like making a list:
Have we covered the niggers?  --Check!
Chinks? --Check!
Gooks?  --Check!
Towelheads? --Check!

Nice job everybody!  Now let's learn about European wars for another three
months.  I found myself, when checking the CIA factbook to find out the
correct capital because my goddamn map was outdated, actually reading about
the history of the Democratic Republic of Congo.  It talked about how a
civil war has devastated a country with tremendous potential which is
unfortunately in the middle of an AIDs epidemic.  I then remembered that I
had around 26 countries to go, and had wasted a good 15 minutes of studying
time.  And so the rest of my morning was spent repeating over and over "The
capital of Burkina Faso is Ouagadougoo."  Nice fricking way to get me
interested in the world.  I'm sure that I'll have enough free time during
midterms and the shitload of homework you've saved for the week before to
read more about African current events.
   Why can't teachers sit down on one topic and actually try to get kids
interested?  I've learned the shocking fact in history so far that *gasp*
some minorities were actually "mistreated" by Europeans.  It's nice to know
that the Filipino Insurrection against American rule got only a sentence in
our textbook, before the topic is discarded in preparation of World War I. 
This was called the "Great War" because white people died in it.  Our
teacher isn't horrendously bad, except for his tendency to play GOD with
quizzes by making us memorize entire passages, but the curriculum sure as
shit is.  Last year we covered the history of Asia from the beginning of
time to 1800.  In a week.  Including presentations, which took up two days. 
Tell me if there's not a little bit of, hrrmmmm, Euro-centrism there? (One
of the many terms we needed to memorize, ironically)
   Also, English class has the attention span of a spastic colon with ADD.


"So does anyone think they know what the river means in Siddhartha?"

kid in the back of the room- "Maybe it has something to do with the way that
water both is a source of life and also a cause of death?"

"That's good!  *looks around* Anyone else?  Anyone else?  Right, it's how
the river represents time.  (repeats word slowly) t-i-m-e.  You better get
that in your notes."

   After enough of this, the kids get pissed off and give up, and I don't
think you can really blame them.  I'm sure the author personally told her
that the river meant "time," so you better take that down in your notes, K?
Maybe I'm wrong though.  Maybe it's just that I've gotten stuck with a
couple of bad teachers.  Maybe there are few teachers that encourage
independent thought.  Maybe if you reach deep enough into your ass, you'll
pull out a quarter.
Back to rants...
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