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| Religion is tops dude! |
| re�li�gion n. 1. a.Belief in and reverence for a supernatural power or powers regarded as creator and governor of the universe. b.A personal or institutionalized system grounded in such belief and worship. 2.The life or condition of a person in a religious order. 3.A set of beliefs, values, and practices based on the teachings of a spiritual leader. 4.A cause, principle, or activity pursued with zeal or conscientious devotion. Um, it seems as if Webster�s Dictionary left out the definition of �Having fucking gullible morons follow some antiquated piece of shit book, and praising people who are nailed to trees, and following people who rape their sons.� So there I was minding my own fucking business, when some asshole comes up to me and informs me how I�m going to burn for all eternity if I don�t act quick. Oh shit, he�s right! I have to start reciting some random bullshit in a little book then it�ll be all-good! Holy fuck, how could anyone believe in that shit? Ok, I�ll admit it, I�m a Jew. Not only am I a Jew, I�m proud of being a Jew, but only for one sole reason. My people killed Jesus, and I am forever thankful for that. I sure as hell am not proud of the whole muttering random words in Hebrew that no one understands, or having funny hats, or wearing those dumb ass scarfs. I�d hate to think if we didn�t actually kill that bastard what the world would be like today. There wouldn�t be any hatred or violence. In essence the world would suck. Oh sure, there are other religions that I approve of. Such as capitalism. What, that�s not a religion? Well shit, maybe it should be. If you can go around bowing 3 times a day to Mecca, or have to recite some bullshit chant to whatever stupid deity you choose to believe in, why shouldn�t we be able to pray to the almighty dollar? What�s the difference between a cult and a religious practice? Mobs get cooler things to wear. That�s about it. Violence? The church would never do anything like that� oh wait, isn�t that thing� ummmmmm, the crusades? Oh right, they went around and fucking tickled people. My favorite kind of religious people are the ones who try to save you, as I showed in the first paragraph. For every question there�s always an answer and when it comes to religion I suggest: Violence, because these people honestly don�t deserve to be alive, so let em go back to their god. Once I get my own house, and some stupid ass monkey wearing a crappy suit that they probably got after they fucked the priest, comes up to me, or my house I�m gonna shoot the mother fucker with a paint ball gun. After I do I�ll yell to them �Wait, no I want to be saved! It�s this devil inside of me!� Hopefully they�ll come back, and I�ll shoot them repeatedly. I really can�t wait until that happens. Until then, remember: Religion is the absolute root of all evil, if you know anyone whose religious, please, do the world a favor and make sure they keep it to themselves, or have an �accident� take place. I know some people if you want. |