Welcome To Idiopathy

1985

Produced By Stephen Spielberg

Directed By Richard Donner

Starring(alphabetically): Sean Astin, Josh Brolin, Jeff Cohen, Corey Feldman, Kerri Green, Martha Plimpton, and Key Huy Quan

Also Starring: John Matusak as "Sloth", Robert Davi, Joe Pantoliano, and Anne Ramsey

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Goonies is one of those movies that always make you smile when you think about them. Most of the people who have fond memories of the movie can always come up with three or four favorite scenes at the drop of a hat. It's a case of having the right script, the right actors, and the right formula for an unforgettable adventure.

The Premise: Bummed out that their families will soon have their homes foreclosed upon by greedy developers, a group of friends decide to explore a forbidden attic. They soon find a treasure map with promises of great wealth, and great danger. The goonies set out to find their fame and fortune, only to find that real-life treasure hunting isn't at all what it's cracked up to be. They run into a family of forgers, the Fratellis. It's now a race to see who will capture "one-eyed" Willy's treasure, and who will join him.

The Characters: As should always be the case in good movies, the characters are what make this film a classic. With such characters as "Chunk", "Mouth" and "Data", who can't enjoy this film?

Chunk:

Chunk is the disaster-prone character in the movie. Couple that with a prodigious amount of lying, and you can't help loving him. His fumbling, predictable ways can come in handy. And they do on more than one occasion.

Mouth:

This is by far one of my most favorite characters. Who wouldn't have wanted a friend like this when they were younger? I bet there are few people who didn't know someone like him, either. Quick with the wisecracks, Mouth is also quick to get himself in trouble. That may be true, but nothing seems to keep him quiet for long.

Data:

Data is the Jimmy Neutron of the mid-eighties. Endlessly inventive, Data's inventions have a tendancy to blow up (or punch him) in his face. Quan makes great use of the asian-american accent in this movie for comic effect. He still has a sizeable fanbase to this day.

Brand:

The oldest of the group, and brother to Mikey, Brand also has one of the silliest nicknames possible. Aside from that, he's your typical 80's fitness jock. While he should be leading, he's more often following. This leads to great comedy content.

Mikey:

Mikey's the "average, every-day kid with a dream." No matter how much his friends protest, he pushes on in his quest to find One-Eyed Willy (insert dirty joke here) and his treasure. This leads to him becoming unofficial leader of the goonies, and acting much more mature than his age.

What Makes This Movie A Classic?:

One of the most important elements of a classic is memorable moments. There are several to be found in Goonies. Some of them are comical, some more serious, but all of them add up to one great experience.

***Warning: If you haven't seen the movie or explored the DVD, there may be spoilers ahead. You have been warned!***

The Opening Scene:

The super-quiet beginning always seemed right to me. It's as if the director's walking you down the hall before throwing open the door and dropping you right into the middle of the action. The opening is also the most effective device I've ever seen for introducing characters in a movie. We start with the Fratellis, and then meet Mouth, Chunk, Data and the rest in rapid succession. Yet you don't feel like you're being led down a line of people.

This leads to the "goonies" gathering at Mikey's house. You can already start getting a feel for the characters, which is great. Get the introduction over at the introduction, right? I still can't help wondering why Chunk didn't just push the gate open. I guess it wouldn't have been as funny.

The Housekeeper:

Arguably one of the funniest scenes in the movie is when Mouth agrees to help translate to the new housekeeper for Mikey's mother. A classic show of purposeful mis-translation follows. Among other things, Mouth instructs the housekeeper, in spanish, to "always separate the drugs" and keep out of the attic because of the "sexual torture devices" stored there by Mikey's father.

The Restaurant:

The scenes in the restaurant are priceless. They are a combination of great comedy and perfect exposition. This is where the goonies first meet up with the Fratellis. It is also the first time Mouth's mouth gets him into trouble. It's enough to buy them some time in the restaurant, and for Mikey to go exploring.

It's also a good chance to get a first glimpse at the dysfunctional nature of the Fratelli family. The rough and tumble mother keeps her whiny children in line with the simple flick of a wrist. Meanwhile, the two brothers fight and quibble as if they were no older than the goonies, themselves.

The discovery of the Fratellis' counterfeit operation and the dead body in the freezer are more great examples of exposition. It seats in your mind the realization that they are criminals, and are willing to do whatever has to be done to stay out of jail.

Fleeing the Fratellis, and Playing the Organ:

Another great scene involves Data fending off the Fratellis with the use of his "slick shoes" device. This is one of the few times that his inventions actually work properly! If that's not good enough, you get to see someone crush their balls. As if that wasn't good enough, you get to see both brothers do it!

Novice piano player Andy trying to work the skeletal organ made for great suspense. This mixed with the Fratellis hot on their tale will put most viewers on the edge of their seats. Everyone breathes a sigh of relief as the big stone slab drops down to reveal an opening. The quick appearance of the Fratellis keeps the action up, however.

The Pirate Ship, and Its Final Voyage:

One of the greatest (and probably one of the most expensive) sets in recent times, the pirate ship and its cave also wowed the actors and actresses. In a brilliant move, the director did not allow any of them to see the set until filming time. The result was a bunch of genuinely surprised faces and film gold.

Another great moment is when Mama Fratelli decides to clean out Mouth's mouth. I mean, how big can a kid's mouth be? The reaction from Mama Fratelli, and her reciting "Ohhhhh my Gawwwwd!" are simply priceless.

The scenes in which One-Eyed Willy's ship breaks free of the cave and sails into open waters for the last time are wonderful. The ship breaking free also seems to coincide with the goonies' final bid for freedom. Seeing the ship set to see was the perfect way to end a great movie.

Conclusions:

Goonies is a great comedy and I would reccomend it to just about anybody. I can't say enough good things about the movie. There's plenty more, but I'd be here typing it out all night long. The directing and acting are spot on. Watch it and enjoy it, I assure you it's worth every penny.

Idiopathy gives this movie a rare 10 out of 10 Milk Duds.

Now for some fun...

Fun Facts:

-- Some careful observers may wonder why the map appears scorched at some point in the movie. The reason behind this can only be found in a deleted scene. In said scene, the goonies stop in at a convenience store. They are picked on and put down by the bullies that Brand later meets up with, in the red Mustang. At one point they gleefully try to torch the map, but the fire is thankfully put out quick enough to save it. The scene was more or less removed as it slowed down the pace of the movie.

-- The same careful observers may have took notice that Data mentions a giant octopus at the end of the movie. Yep, the octopus was in another deleted scene. After all of the goonies were off the pirate ship and in the water, a giant octopus attacks them. The scene comes off seeming kind of campy. I can't complain that it wasn't in the film.

-- Aforementioned in the article was the fact that the actors and actresses had not yet seen the pirate ship set by the time the cameras were rolling. Therefore they were genuinely surprised. They certainly should have been. Every last bit of that set was real. No matte paintings or optical effects were used. It is one of the biggest sets in Hollywood history.

My Favorite Quotes:

Mikey: "That's my mom's most favorite piece!"

Mouth, a la Harpo Marx: "Wouldn't be here, if it wasn't!"

-- The scene at Mikey's house, after Chunk breaks the genitals off of a statuette.

Andy: "We've been walking forever."

-- Shortly after entering the caves...about thirty seconds after entering the caves.

Chunk: "Jeeze, mister. You're even hungrier than I am!"

-- After Sloth breaks free to pick up the Baby Ruth bar.

Mama Fratelli: "I only dropped you once! Well, maybe twice..."

-- To an angry Sloth, after reaching "Down will come baby..." in the famous nursery rhyme.

Sloth: "Hey you guys!"

-- When Chunk and Sloth come to the goonies' rescue.

~JMP