A little humor in a single line
--> Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
--> Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
--> Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
--> I almost had a psychic friend once, but he left me before we met.
--> I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
--> I intend to live forever - so far, so good.
--> If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
--> Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.
--> Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
--> Televangelists: The Pro Wrestlers of religion.
--> The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
--> When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
--> Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
--> If I worked as much as others, I would do as little as they.
--> Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.
--> Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.
--> When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.
--> Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
--> Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!
--> If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
--> Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?
--> What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
--> Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.
--> I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
--> I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
--> I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
--> Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
--> How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
--> Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.
--> Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.
--> Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
--> For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
--> OK, so what's the speed of dark?
--> Black holes are where God divided by zero.
--> All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.