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Today is saterday. I dont really like saterdays. i would rather have something to do. Now im just wandering throgh the house and just the slightest little thing is getting on my nerves. I feel kind of druged up because i took some tylonol and i feel so tired and weigd down. Im trying not to think of the big choice i have to make. Go live with my dad, Stay here, or go live with my mom. This choice is gonna chnce everything. Ive lived with my dad before. I know how it is. He trys to be there and he gives me anything i could ever need. Hes my rock. But every time i go back to New York and live with my mom its hard for him because he has to wonder. Was he not good enogh. I dont really know what i want in life. I guess im a search. Everyone i presureing my. To go to new york of just stay here and every time i think about it i get upset so it stays in the back of my mind and i try to find things to keep me occupied. That id kinda what this web-site is for. Just to Express my thought and felings. I really think im changing ya know. I just want to be left alone by my grandparents. I go to school, come home, gt on the computer, watch tv, and go to bed. What kind of life is that. It makes me think. Theres gotta be more to life. But im just searching to find what it is. Right now i feel like my body weighs a ton and i just want to lay down but when i do i think witch is not a good thing. Theres nothing good on t.v. so i'll just work on my website and avoid thinking. I think i shouldnt have taklen thoses pain relivers. I mean ya i had a headace but now i feel so blah blah blah. I just want my feelings/pain to go away. sometimes i feel as if nobady wants me and it hurts but i just dont know were to turn. |
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