Chris Watts: Ladies and gentlemen. This is the opening contest for ICW Ride or Die, and it is for the vacant ICW Worldwide Television Championship.

***The crowd cheers very loudly in anticipation.***

Watts: Now first, the rules for the Single Entry Battle Royal. Two men will start off in the ring, and every minute and a half another participant will enter. Elimination will occur when a wrestler is thrown over the top rope and both feet touch the ground. And now, with out any more delay, the men that drew the first two slots respectively.

***DJ Sammy’s pathetic techno remix of the classic Bryan Adams song “Heaven” plays and out steps Platinum.***

Watts: Here is Platinum. And now the man that drew number two.

***Three Doors Down’s “Loser” plays and out steps Victor Ree.***

Watts: Ladies and gentlemen, Victor Ree.

***Both men get in the ring and circle for a bit after the bell rings. They tie up and Victor sends Platinum to the ropes, and Platinum comes off with a cross body, but Victor was prepared and hits a dropkick and then backs Platinum into a corner.***

Clash: Heh, Victor is my pick to win this one.

Matt: Why make your call this early?

Clash: Why not? Just think about his name, Victor Ree, it even says “winner.”

***Victor then goes and whips Platinum to the opposite corner and follows up with a running clothesline. All of a sudden the crowd starts counting down from ten.***

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Matt: Here comes the third entrant. And it’s the Diamond Shark. Octavius Giovanni has entered the match..

***Octavius slides in the ring as Victor Ree turns to attack. Victor gets leveled by a shoulder tackle and the Diamond Shark picks him up and puts him in the corner and hits repeated shoulder blocks on Victor.***

***Platinum comes over and Giovanni turns around and slams him to the mat with a vicious sidewalk slam. He then jumps to Platinum’s head and starts punching away. Victor stumbles out of the corner and hits a double axe handle to the back of Octavius’s head.***

***Victor then stands up and drops an elbow on Platinum before locking on a head lock to the Diamond Shark. Octavius sends Victor to the ropes. Victor bounces off and tries for a clothesline, but Giovanni ducks underneath which he turns into a back body drop and tosses Victor over the top rope.***

Matt: And there goes your pick James. Victor Ree is out of the match. And here we go, here comes the next competitor.

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***Out steps Shocker. Brother of the late Sabbath. He runs to the ring, leveling the eliminated Victor Ree with a clothesline on his way. He slides in and bulldogs Giovanni down and then easily tosses Platinum out of the ring.***

Matt: And just like that we’re back down to two men.

Clash: Now who’s counting their chickens before their hatched.

Matt: Not me, I’m just pointing out that we’re down to two men in the ring, but we still have sixteen more men to enter the match.

***Octavius and Shocker trade blows for a while before Shocker ends up getting the upper hand. He picks up Octavius and tries to put him over the top rope. He does manage to do so, but the Diamond Shark holds on and slides back into the ring. Octavius hits Shocker in the back of the knee and takes him down. The two trade blows for a while again and the count-down begins again.***

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Matt: This can’t be good news, Harold H. Hash is on his way to the ring. And he’s going right for Shocker.

***Hash pulls Octavius off of Shocker and throws him to a corner and then focuses his attention on Shocker, picking him up and slamming him down to the mat with a power slam. Octavius comes running at Hash with an axe handle attempt, but Hash drops for a drop toe hold, and Octavius ends up landing right on top of Shocker.***

***All of a sudden there is a backstage shot. There is a figure standing in the shadows. He is looking right at Hardcore Hugh who is lacing up his boots.***

Shadowed Figure: Hardcore Hugh?

Hugh: Yeah. Who are you?

Figure: Doesn’t matter. What is your entry number for the Battle Royal?

Hugh: Fifteen I think. Yeah, fifteen. Why?

Figure: I’m taking your place in the Battle Royal.

Hugh: I don’t think so. Do you know what this match means to me?

Figure: Yes, but there’s not a thing you can do about me taking your spot.

Hugh: How do you figure that?

***The figure grabs Hugh by the throat and throws him against the wall. And then choke slams him through a table. The figure then picks him up in a gorilla press and throws Hugh through a window.***

Figure: Because I can.

***The scene changes and we see that we have just missed the next entrant into the match. It is Razor, who is going right after Hash.***

Matt: Looks like Razor is still mad at Hash for what happened on Primetime.

Clash: Only because Razor is a little pussy. Hell, he doesn’t even hold a candle to anyone else in this match. Even Jay Bronie is better than Razor.

Matt: Whatever. This is Razor’s first legitimate shot at an ICW title.

Clash: Are you insinuating something?

Matt: Well, every time he had a shot at the World Title, there was always something happening to cause him to lose the match. Like say an attack before hand by a Next Level member.

Clash: I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Matt: Figures.

***Razor clotheslines Hash down, and then gets clotheslined from behind by Octavius. Hash and the Diamond Shark then start to double team Razor. They then grab Razor by the head and toss him over the top rope. But Razor grabs hold of the top rope.***

***Hash and Giovanni start trading blows again, as Razor uses his strength and flexibility to lift himself back over the top rope and back into the ring. Right as another countdown begins.***

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BUZZZZZ!!!

***And out comes the Jr. Heavyweight Champion Aerial Prodigy. He immediately runs to the ring and climbs to the top rope and leaps off with a missile dropkick to Hash.***

Matt: And Prodigy goes right for Hash, as has just about everyone else.

Clash: That’s because with Victor Ree gone, they know that Hash is the most likely of them to take the win.

***Prodigy bounces off the ropes and hits a head scissors on Razor, he then goes for a cross body on Giovanni, but the Diamond Shark catches him and then plants the highflyer with a power slam.***

Matt: Prodigy has just gotten taken out of his aerial strategy. A hit and run strategy that was working.

***As Razor starts to get up, we are taken once again backstage. This time we see Jay Bronie getting ready. It looks like he is the next man out. We see a woman’s hand come and tap him on the shoulder. He turns around and we see Sapphire.***

Sapphire: Are you the next man out in the Battle Royal?

Jay: Yeah. Something I can do for you?

Sapphire: Actually, I want someone to go in your place.

Jay: Wait, I saw what happened to Hardcore Hugh, and I’m not falling for it.

Sapphire: What makes you think I was involved in that?

Jay: I didn’t say you were.

Sapphire: Good. Now here’s the deal. I’m willing to pay you Five Thousand Dollars for your place in this match.

Jay: What!? Are you serious?

Sapphire: Yes, I’ve got someone in mind that wants to make an impact tonight.

Jay: Really? Who?

***Star comes around the corner and crosses her arms.***

Star: Me.

Jay: Well, how can I say “no” to two good looking women.

Sapphire: That’s more like it. *to Star* Go get ‘em.

***We are taken back to the ring right as the countdown is finishing up.***

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Matt: And here comes Star.

Clash: What?

Matt: Didn’t you watch what just happened?

Clash: No.

Matt: Well, Sapphire and Star bought Jay Bronie’s spot in this match. So Star is taking Jay’s place.

***Star runs down and attacks Aerial Prodigy. But her hair is grabbed from behind by Giovanni, who then plants her with a DDT. In the mean time, Hash manages to toss Razor out of the ring and to the floor.***

***Giovanni then picks up Star and prepares to throw her over the top rope, but Star wriggles her way off of Giovanni’s shoulder and then hits him with a dropkick to knock him out of the ring.***

Matt: And there goes the Diamond Shark thanks to Star. Three competitors in the ring now, and we’ve got the better part of a minute before the next one enters.

Clash: Aerial Prodigy, Star and Harold Hash. Gee, who has the advantage here.

Matt: Unfortunately for Star and Prodigy it happens to be Hash.

***Prodigy and Star try to hit a double dropkick on Hash, but he ducks and the two get nothing but air. Hash waits for the two to get up and levels them with a double clothesline and then picks up Prodigy by the back of the head and tosses him over the top rope down to the floor.***

Matt: This can’t be good for Star.

Clash: Maybe not, look at the countdown.

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Matt: And look at this. It’s Hellhole.

***In the ring, Hash has Star in the corner as if he’s going to do something unmentionable to her. But Hellhole climbs in the ring and Hash turns around right into a big boot from Hellhole. Hash drops to the mat and Hellhole picks him up and then puts him in a stalling suplex.***

Matt: Look at the power from Hellhole here.

Clash: I’m changing my prediction again.

Matt: To who?

Clash: Hellhole. He can’t be stopped.

Matt: You may be right. He and the rest of the Perfect Alliance have renamed Worldwide to Red Alert.

Clash: Yeah, they’re gonna have to answer some questions. But it brings respect back to the show.

Matt: Really?

Clash: Yes, now stop talking and let’s call this match.

***Hash gets up after the suplex holding his back, and Hellhole plows him into the corner. Hellhole motions to Star and drops to his hands and knees. Star comes running, and uses Hellhole as a spring board to splash Hash in the corner.***

***Hellhole whips Hash to the opposite corner and motions for Star to do the same move again. Star comes running, but right before she gives a little jump to use Hellhole as a spring board again, Hellhole stands up and catches her in a bear hug and drives her back to the corner.***

Matt: Never trust anyone in these matches. And Star just learned that the hard way.

***Hellhole lifts Star up into a gorilla press, but before he has a chance to do anything, Hash clips Hellhole at the back of the knee. This fells the big man, and Star lands on top of him.***

Clash: How many people have we seen in this match so far?

Matt: About nine or ten I think.

Clash: Want to take bets on who’s coming out next?

Matt: I think I’ll pass. But what I will do though is say that Hardcore Hugh was supposed to be the fifteenth man in the match, but he got taken out by a shadowy figure in back.

Clash: And then my girl Star . . .

Matt: Yes, we know, she bought her way into the match in place of Jay Bronie.

***In the ring, together, Star and Hash suplex Hellhole with a resounding crash. But instead of the crowd moaning along, they start counting down for the next competitor.***

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Matt: Former Jr. Heavyweight Champion The Ghost. You have to wonder how well he’s going to do in this match considering having come back from that neck injury.

Clash: Maybe you have to, but not me.

Matt: Oooooooookay . . .

***Ghost jumps up on the apron and flips over the top rope and comes running, he ducks under a clothesline from Hash and then rebounds off the ropes and hits a flying forearm to Hash. Ghost turns around and gets hit by a crescent kick from Star.***

***But the former Jr. Heavyweight champ nips back up and then takes Star down with a hurricanranna. As he is celebrating he turns right into a choke slam from Hellhole who has just gotten up from the double suplex.***

Matt: Ghost doing some celebrating a little too early there.

Clash: Looks like the Ghost just got planted six feet down.

Matt: Probably more than that considering Hellhole’s size.

***The Ghost turns over onto his stomach and is clutching at his neck and head area. Hellhole then goes back and focuses his attention on Hash. He clotheslines Hash over the top, but Hash stays on the ring apron, grabbing hold of the bottom rope. Hellhole then starts to kick away at Hash to make him release his hold on the bottom rope.***

***Star slowly gets up and goes to help Hellhole try to eliminate Hash.***

Matt: Hash is at a slight disadvantage here.

Clash: Why do you say that?

Matt: He’s been in this match the longest. I don’t care what kind of endurance someone has, the longer you are in one of these matches, it has to wear on your body. Especially since there’s no sort of rest period in the match.

***The Ghost gets up slowly and grabs Star and gives her a reverse DDT. Hellhole sees it, and then goes for the Ghost, more or less forgetting about Hash. Hellhole goes for a punch, but Ghost ducks under and hits the ropes, rebounding off and hitting a flying neck breaker type move on the big man.***

***Right after the move, the crowd can be heard cheering and then slowly replaced by the countdown for the next participant to come out.***

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***Out steps Nightmare Evil. He runs to the ring and goes right for the Ghost. Nightmare charges at the Ghost, who doesn’t see him coming and hits an amazing bulldog taking him down. In the meantime, Hash gets back into the ring and goes for Hellhole, locking on a sleeper hold and jumping up onto his back.***

Matt: Smart move here by Hash, putting on a sleeper hold to Hellhole.

***But Hellhole backs up and slams Hash into the corner. Only Hash holds on, and Hellhole slams him back again. This time Hash releases and then Hellhole hits a back elbow to Hash’s face, knocking him back into the corner and into more of a crouching position.***

***On the other side of the ring, Nightmare Evil whips Ghost into the ropes and then gets a beautiful Japanese arm drag. Star gets up and then dropkicks Nightmare. Nightmare gets knocked back into the ropes and then comes back out with a dropkick of his own to Star.***

Matt: What action. Hellhole and Hash seem intent on destroying one another. And at the same time, it looks like a triple threat match going on between Star, Nightmare Evil and Ghost. Or maybe not. Looks like Ghost and Nightmare are coming up with a plan.

***Which is true as Nightmare is talking to Ghost. Ghost nods and then steps away from Nightmare. The two then start circling Star. And Star looks nervous, being unable to guard from two sides at once.***

***She ultimately decides to focus on Nightmare with a clothesline attempt, but Nightmare ducks under and Star then goes right into a hurricanranna from the Ghost. Nightmare Evil picks up Star and puts her into a full nelson as Ghost lines up for a clothesline or something along those lines.***

***Ghost hit’s the ropes, and rebounds off. He’s within range, when Star low blows Nightmare which makes him release her. The Ghost then ends up clothes lining Nightmare Evil over the top rope.***

Matt: And there goes Nightmare Evil. Which is good, I guess, considering he’s got another match later on.

Clash: So does Ghost.

Matt: Too true.

***Star then locks on a head lock and bulldogs the Ghost down. And the crowd then starts counting along to the countdown again.***

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Matt: And here comes --

Clash: X-Treme.

Matt: Actually it’s Blaze now. Ever since he’s been zombified, I believe. And we’ve got nine more competitors to go. Plus finding out whoever is coming out in Hardcore Hugh’s place. And that’s just four competitors away.

Clash: Is it?

Matt: Yes it is.

***Blaze runs to the ring and goes right for the big men in Hellhole and Hash. Blaze shows his old X-Treme self as he sends Hellhole to the ropes and spears the big man down. Hash comes up behind and drills Blaze with a full nelson slam.***

***Star in the meantime gets taken down with an Enziguri from the Ghost. The Ghost then goes to attack Hash, but Hash knocks the smaller man down. Hash picks up Ghost and sends him to the ropes. Hash then back body tosses Ghost over the top rope, but lands on the ring apron, and pulls on Hash’s shoulder, knocking him to the mat.***

***Ghost jumps up to the top rope for a slingshot move, but at about the same time, Star is getting up and pulls on the rope. This unsteadies Ghost and he ends up straddling the top rope.***

Matt: Oh, that can’t be good for some of the Ghost’s hopes.

Clash: All that means is that there won’t be any little Ghosts running around.

Matt: Somebody spare me, please.

***Blaze gets up and then hits one vicious looking lariat to Ghost which then knocks him off the top rope and down to the arena floor.***

Matt: And the Ghost is out. These matches really aren’t that good for high flyers like Ghost, Aerial Prodigy or Nightmare Evil.

Clash: Are any of them really true championship material?

***Hellhole gets up and hits a big boot to Blaze who then also gets knocked out of the ring.***

Matt: Looks like Hellhole wants to keep this as close to just him and Hash as possible.

Clash: That’s ‘cause Hellhole’s gonna win this match.

Matt: You change who you think is going to win just like the weather.

Clash: You damn right.

Matt: And here we go, another competitor is about to enter the fray.

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Matt: Oh, this is good. Former ICW Champion Chris Murdock is on his way to the ring.

Clash: Forget what I said about Hellhole. Murdock is my choice to win. You have to be crazy thinking you can beat the ONLY former ICW Champion in this match

Matt: Just like the weather.

***Murdock climbs in and goes right for Hellhole. But Hellhole was expecting it, and as Murdock runs at him, Hellhole counters with a power slam. On the other side of the ring, Hash is working over Blaze, as Star is trying to get a bit of respite in the corner.***

***Hellhole whips Murdock to the corner that Star is in, and unfortunately, Star is unable to move out of the way before Murdock hit’s the corner. Star drops to the mat and is in obvious pain from what has happened. Blaze eventually gets the advantage over Hash and gets him teetering over the rope, but not well enough to get him over all of the way.***

***Hellhole sees this after violently whipping Murdock back to the other corner, and hits Blaze from behind with a clothesline that sends him over. But it does not get Hash out of the ring too.***

Matt: Can you believe it? Hash is still in this thing.

Clash: So what? The winner is going to be the former World Champ Murdock.

***Hellhole goes for a splash on Murdock after eliminating Blaze, but Murdock moves out of the way leaving the corner wide open for Hellhole to slam into it.***

***Murdock then goes and knocks Star down with a clothesline. And then Murdock gets met with a spear from Hash.***

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***Out steps Pimp Masta,’ getting ready for action. He slides into the ring and goes right for Star. The poor lady doesn’t even see him coming and gets thrown over the top rope. But watching closely is Hash, who comes up behind Pimp Masta’ an tosses him over the top rope right behind Star.***

Matt: Two quick eliminations right there. I think Pimp Masta’ is on what they call “Bushwhacker Luke” time for this type of match.

Clash: Better than “Funaki & Taka” time.

Matt: Well, I can’t argue with you on that.

***With it down to Hellhole, Chris Murdock and Harold Hash, you have to know that this is going to be one hell of a match.***

***The three men slowly circle each other. Right before Hash and Murdock decide to double team Hellhole. But Hellhole pushes them both away easily and then picks Murdock up and power slams him back to the mat. After which he knocks Hash back to the corner and chokes him with his foot.***

Matt: Shades of Kevin Nash here by Hellhole.

Clash: Are you talking the 187 Nash or the other Nash?

Matt: Which do you think?

Clash: I never know with you.

Matt: Well, as you put it, the “other” Kevin Nash.

Clash: That’s what I thought.

Matt: Then why’d you ask?

Clash: To piss you off.

Matt: Congratulations on that front then. And here we go. Just about time for another entrant.

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Matt: Do you realize that the next entrant will be the man that took out Hardcore Hugh?

Clash: Yeah, but I want to see what Vic Strange is going to do in this match.

***Vic climbs into the ring and goes right on the attack against Murdock. Hellhole in the meantime hit’s a neck breaker on Hash and then goes for a choke slam. But Hash knows this is coming and kicks the big man right where it counts. You know the place, the “mommy/daddy button.” And Hellhole goes down.***

***Vic uses the ropes to choke Murdock.***

Matt: Great action from all of these men. And you have to give a hand to Star, she held in there like a trouper.

Clash: You damn right she did. Hey what’s going on?

Matt: It looks like someone is getting restless for the match. I think . . . Oh no. This can’t be good.

Clash: Well, well, well. The Battle Royal has just gone into Sudden Death Overtime.

Matt: We can scratch off the fifteen entrant then. Sudden Death got tired of waiting and has gone out to attack everyone left in the match.

***Sudden Death climbs in the ring and immediately throws Murdock out and onto the floor, of course after he had gone over the top rope. He then turns his attention to Vic Strange.***

Matt: I sort of feel sorry for Vic. I mean he’s the reason that Sudden lost the Extreme Championship to Celeste.

Clash: Which proved that Celeste would never have beaten Sudden Death at all.

***Sudden Death has a choke locked onto Vic Strange, and barely flinches when Hash throws a few punches at him. Hash rebounds off the ropes but is met with a big boot from Sudden Death. The biggest man in the match then pulls the Venomous One over to the ropes and choke slams him out of the ring.***

BUZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!

Matt: This can’t be good news for Hash. Two of the biggest men in the organization, and Hash has to deal with both of them. And what you just heard folks, was the buzzer to send Sudden Death into the match.

Clash: Which we know he skipped.

Matt: I’m kind of surprised he even waited THIS long.

***Sudden Death then goes after Hellhole. This allows Hash the opportunity to slink away into the corner to get some rest.***

Matt: This is amazing. Hash has been in this match almost since the opening bell. He has to be running just about on empty.

***Both Hellhole and Sudden Death have each other in a choke hold, trying to wear the other down. But because of the size advantage, Sudden Death ends up getting the upper hand, and chokeslamming Hellhole hard into the mat.***

***Hash sneaks out of the ring, under the bottom rope and goes to grab a steel chair. He sets it up and sits down on the outside of the ring. A ref comes over and starts arguing with Hash to get in the ring. But Hash, of course, ignores the ref.***

***The camera that is filming Hash just barely picks up what he says.***

Hash: Why even try, let those to big thugs fight it out, and when the time comes, I’ll be the one taking away the victory.

***Sudden Death helps Hellhole back to his feet and then knocks him back down with a chop to the throat. Again Sudden Death picks up Hellhole, but lets him drop when he sees Hash sitting comfortably on the outside of the ring.***

***And when Sudden Death goes to get Hash, he makes the mistake of going over the top rope and eliminating himself. Hash slides back in the ring, and laughs his ass off as Sudden Death is told to get out of the ring area by the refs.***

Clash: What did Sudden Death do?

Matt: He made a mistake, and it’s cost him, he’s taken himself out of the match to get a piece of Hash.

***Hellhole slowly stands and is met with fists to the head as he gets up. And the next countdown reaches its conclusion.***

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Matt: And here comes Scenario. And I’m just getting this, Stu-E Price has not shown for the event. I don’t even know if he was ever going to show.

Clash: And if he was, this would have been his last match here in the ICW.

***Scenario climbs in and helps Hash with Hellhole.***

Matt: You do realize what that means without Price in the match, don’t you?

Clash: Yeah, he’s too much of a pussy for the ICW.

Matt: No, it means that there’s only nineteen men in this match.

Clash: I wouldn’t be so sure about that.

Matt: Do you know something I don’t?

Clash: Boy, I know everything. I am God.

Matt: You and about seven other guys here in the ICW claim that.

Clash: How dare you doubt me.

***Scenario and Hash double suplex Hellhole and then they try to put him over.***

Matt: It’s gonna take more than that to put Hellhole out of this match. Or maybe not, considering what happened to get Sudden Death eliminated.

***Hellhole uses the ropes for leverage and pushes back, with the end result being a double splash on both men.***

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***Out steps Steven Diablo and he runs to the ring as fast as he can and starts pummeling Hash upon his entrance. He picks him up and then hits several shoulder blocks in the corner. He then climbs to the second rope and punches Hash in the face.***

Matt: You have to think that this is for what Hash did to Diablo on Primetime. Razor had his chance, and amazingly, Hash has stayed in this entire time.

Clash: My pick is still Hellhole.

Matt: Your pick was Murdock. Did that change when he got eliminated?

Clash: No, my pick has always been Hellhole.

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Matt: This is it. The final man in the match Scurge Runik.

Clash: What do you mean, this is a twenty man single entry battle royal. And there’s only been nineteen entries.

Matt: I just thought of something, it almost seems as if the timer keeping track of when they’re supposed to enter is going faster and faster.

Clash: Must be your imagination.

Matt: Is it?

***Runik slides into the ring and pounces on Hellhole faster than a fat woman on Antonio Banderas. And right when he does.***

BUZZZZZZZZZZ!!!

Clash: What did I tell you? Twenty men regardless, and here comes the twentieth man now.

Matt: And what did I tell you? The signals were getting faster. I knew . . . Oh my God! Not again!

***Sudden Death is coming back out for another go at the match.***

Matt: Who does he think he is? Mick Foley?

Clash: Hah-hah, welcome back to Sudden Death Overtime Hayes!

***Sudden Death climbs into the ring again and pushes Diablo, who is still fighting with Hash, over the top rope at the corner.***

***Hellhole manages to get Runik away and clotheslines Sudden Death over and out of the ring. This leaves Runik, Scenario, Hash and Hellhole in the match.***

Matt: Out of, technically, nineteen men, these are the last four.

Clash: That’s right, the final four. And one of them will be walking out as the ICW Worldwide Television Champion. My money’s on Hellhole.

Matt: The biggest man left?

Clash: No, the best man left.

***Hellhole choke slams Scenario and then grabs him by the head as he throws him over the top rope. Down to three men. Hash is holding the ropes to steady himself, and Runik comes charging him, Hash ducks and flips him out of the ring. Down to two men.***

Matt: This is what we’ve been seeing for most of the match. Hash and Hellhole. Both of whom have been very impressive tonight.

Clash: And Hash was one of the first men in the match tonight.

Matt: Can’t hold anything back now can these two?

***Hellhole Irish whips Hash to the ropes and hits a big boot to Hash’s face. Hash gets up slowly using Hellhole to get himself up. Hellhole helps Hash get the rest of the way up, and then grabs hold of his throat.***

Matt: Choke hold applied here by Hellhole. Could he be going for . . . Low blow now by Hash.

***Hellhole goes doubled over in pain and Hash uses that as an advantage to clothesline Hellhole over the top rope, but Hellhole holds on to the top rope and ends up kneeling on the ring apron.***

***Hash sees it and rebounds off the ropes and hits a baseball slide that knocks Hellhole down, but not so that both feet are touching the floor. So Hash goes for another baseball slide, and this time aims to another part of Hellhole’s anatomy. And Hellhole hit’s the arena floor holding onto that place on his body that has to be a rather tender spot by now.***

Matt: That’s it. Hash has over come quite the adversity to become the new ICW Worldwide Television Champion.

Clash: Just like I was saying all along, Has was going to win the match.

Matt: No you haven’t. You’ve changed your story more times than Elizabeth Taylor’s had husbands.

***"I Get High" by Styles hits the PA as the crowd goes nuts. JR strolls on his way to the ring with a blunt in his left hand and a lighter in his right. He flicks on the lighter and raises it above his head while walking to the ring surrounded by cheers. He lights the blunt on the ring steps and takes a couple hits before going to a fan and giving her the blunt and lighter before sliding into the ring. JR goes and poses on each turnbuckle then hops down and awaits his chance to finally wear a title belt here in ICW.***

Matt Hayes - I am joined here now by both James Clash and Tim Malcom. Hello Tim and James, great to be joined by two well respected broadcasters. James, your feelings on the upcoming match?

James Clash - The kicker against the mat worker. A battle of styles to be sure.

Tim Malcom - Not only that, but a battle of a man some call racist against a man of another race.

James Clash - Race has nothing to do with this match Tim. Lee has reformed.

Tim Malcom - Reformed? Is that what you call making racist remarks, and owning a lackey, which may as well be called a slave.

James Clash - Lee has since stopped the lacky gimmick Tim and I am offended to compared it to owning a slave. How dare you make that charge?!

Tim Malcom - The truth hurts.

James Clash - How about JR's in the open drug use? Like he is a freaking saint or something.

Matt Hayes - Men let's just call the wrestling match and forget about outside pressures here tonight.

***A small beat sounds out over the loudspeaker. Soon enough the lyrics start.***
"TELL ME EXACTLY WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?
NOW THAT I HAVE ALLOWED YOU, TO BEAT ME!
DO YOU THINK THAT WE COULD PLAY ANOTHER GAME?
MAYBE I COULD WIN THIS TIME!
I GOT A LIFE OF MISERY, YOU PUT ME THROUGH,
AND DARLING YOU CAN TRUST ME, COMPLETELY!
AND IF YOU EVEN TRY TO LOOK THE OTHER WAY,
I THINK THAT I COULD KILL THIS TIME!”

***Red pyros shoot off from the entrance way and the music picks up. Another set of pyros explode and Lee Stone stands where they clear. Lee makes his way to the ring, slapping hands on the way down until he reaches the ring and slides in, directly facing JR***

James Clash: Look at the tension, its like Shirlene Higgis’s belt!

***Both commentators visibly shudder, and go momentarily silent. In the ring, Lee is waving to the crowd, and JR is trying to get his attention by trash talking. Stone ignores him and continues to work the crowd, until JR snaps and hauls Stone around***

Tim Malcolm: Was that really wise? Lee Stone is staring down JR now! The fans are getting behind Lee…. Who nailed JR in the chops!

James Clash: Stone may be one of the quiet ones on ICW, but if you get on the wrong side of him…

Tim Malcolm: He’ll drop you to the mat with a nice snap suplex like that! Stone quickly follows up into a seated leg lock, dragging on JR’s knee!

***JR reaches forwards, gouging Stones eyes, causing him to release the hold. He tries to capitalise, but Lee reverses his rush into an arm bar, and kicks him in the chin, dropping JR to his knees. Stone keeps hold of the arm and twists it into a Full Nelson, keeping JR on his knees. He says something to JR and pushes him forward, taking a step back**

Tim Malcolm: Woah, is Lee Stone talking smack to JR?!

***JR Gets to his feet and Lee Stone let him recuperate slightly. He back up just as JR charges again, and drop toe holds him to the mat. He rolls onto Jars prone back and slaps him in the head, jumping back up again.***

James Clash: HAWWW HAW HAW! Oh that Lee!

Tim Malcolm: What’s this? JR has had enough! He’s rolling out of the ring and backstage, but Lee isn’t having this! He’s straight after JR, but he has to remember, he has everything to lose in this match!

***Lee catches JR off guard and nails him with an axe handle to the back of the head, and begins hauling him back to the ring. JR is squirming and manages to break Stone’s hold, cutting him down with a spinning side kick to the jaw. Stone drops to the ramp, gasping, and gets dragged to his feet and to the ring by JR. JR knocks Stone down with a right hook, and takes to the ropes.**

Tim Malcolm: JR showing some of that agility now… he leaps over Stone. Stone is on his feet, he leapfrogs JR… JR holds the ropes as Lee ducks to catch him and WHAM! Oh god! What a brutal kick to the face, did you hear that?

James Clash: Not with you whining in my ear, you stupid –

***JR drops a leg across the throat of everyone’s Second favourite wrestler, and rolls into a cocky cover.***

1, 2, kick out by Stone.

James Clash: It’s going to take a whole lot more than that to steal that belt away from Stu-E Price!

Tim Malcolm: Uh… that’s Lee Stone, Clash…

James Clash: Fire Stu-E.

***JR is in control now, with Lee reeling on the ropes. Stone manages a weak counter, grabbing himself some time, and quickly tries to go back to work on his stoner opponent’s knee. He grabs JR’s leg and pulls out from under him, applying an ankle lock, but JR scrabbles to the ropes and Lee releases the hold, applying a kick to the back as he does so.***

Tim Malcolm: Stone is showing some great tenacity tonight Clash!

James Clash: Quit waving your damn arms, I can’t see a damn thing!

***Stone lets JR get back to his feet and the two circle each other a few times, before locking up. Stone comes out on top with a reverse hammer lock, but JR low-blows him, and drops him with a back kick to the gut. The referee checks on a winded Stone, but lets the match carry on. JR Sprints over, flipping over Lee in a neck-whip. Stone drops to the mat howling, and JR takes the opportunity to showboat again.***

James Clash: JR really needs to either quit showboating, or get deodorant… He's never going to win this way. Can I re-book the match?

Tim Malcolm: I’m afraid not.

James Clash: Ah’m da boss!

***The referee tries to prevent JR from attacking Stone until he’s back to his feet, but Stoen pushes him aside and rolls JR into a pinning combination, getting barely a two. Jr kicks out and launches a flurry of punches and kicks on Stone, forcing him to the corner. Lee turns him around and nails a few rights of his own, but JR knocks him back into the centre of the ring and runs for a cover.***

James Clash: 1, 2, kick out by… who?

Tim Malcolm: Lee Stone, sir.

James Clash: And who’s the one pinning him?

Tim Malcolm: JR…

James Clash: This is the World Title match?

Tim Malcolm: What exactly happened last night in the hotel room with the mini-bar and Danish models?

***Lee is back in the fight, as he reverses a reverse bear hug attempt by JR. JR staggers as Stone counters and applies a hammerlock, quickly twisting the arm, followed by a gut to the midsection, an elbow to the back of the head and – ARM-O-GEDDON!***

Tim Malcolm: WOW! Clash did you see that? Lee reversed a series of moves in the center of the ring and quickly locked on the Arm-O-Geddon!! Can JR get out of the hold? Its not looking good, but he’s resisting, he's resisting… NO! He can’t take it anymore! JR tapped, Lee Stone is still the United States Champion!

James Clash: Cool. At last, an American has that title…

Tim Malcolm: Seriously, what DID happen last night?

***The whole arena becomes dark... The crowd goes silent... Five bright spotlights flash on, all five focused on the entrance. The light is so blindingly bright. All that is seen is a figure with his head bowed, bathed in the light. As the spotlights shut off, the arena lights come back on. "Alive" by P.O.D begins bursting from the P.A, starting at the first chorus. The Ghost raises his head, and stands still for a moment. White fireworks at either side of the wrestler shoot upwards, bursting in mid-air with great flashes of light. He walks down the ramp, and as he does so the fireworks that line the ramp shoot upwards, spiraling and leaving bright trails. The Ghost continues to walk to the ring. He climbs onto the apron and somersaults over the top rope, into the center of the ring.***

Matt: Well here is The contender in the Highest Flying Rematch ever, The Ghost.

Clash: Yeah we’ve seen a lot of great things from this ICW high flyer in the past, I wonder if he can capture the Junior Heavyweight Title tonight at Ride or Die.

***A loud explosion booms and the lights go out as a strobe light begins to flash and Disturbed's "Prayer" cuts on. As David Dramain begins the vocals a masked figure comes cart wheeling and flipping out from the stage entrance. He walks strait to the ring with a wild eyed glare, as though he doesn't know where he is or what he's doing. He runs up to the ring and Suicide Dives over the ropes onto The Ghost.***

Matt: And this match is underway.

Clash: And what a match it’s gonna be babycakes.

***Aerial Prodigy gets to his feet and nails a series of quick fire dropkicks to the Ghost. He bounces off the ropes and cross body blocks Ghost.***

1… 2… Easy Kick Out!

***Aerial Prodigy fly’s in for another cross body block but Ghost ducks and Aerial Prodigy goes soaring to the outside.***

Matt: And their fighting at ringside now.

***The count out begins as Ghost soars to the outside with an Asai Moonsault onto Aerial Prodigy.***

1…

James: These 2 are wasting no time here at Ride or Die.

Matt: No they’re not James.

2…

***Ghost nails clothesline to Aerial Prodigy and then throws follows him back into the ring.***

Matt: What a match!

***Ghost and Aerial Prodigy tie it up in the center of the squared circle with Prodigy gaining the upper hand.***

Matt: Oh no! Ghost counter the headlock! And Aerial Prodigy goes down from a backdrop.

***Aerial Prodigy gets up and the Ghost hits a hurricaranna-pin on him.***

1… 2… Kick out!

***Aerial Prodigy rolls Ghost over!***

1… 2… Kick out again!

***Both men get to their feet and nail a dropkick on each other!***

Clash: Both men are down now and the referee is counting them down.

1…

2…

3…

4…

***Both men are on their knees now.***

5…

6…

***Aerial Prodigy is up. Ghost is getting there.***

7…

***Aerial Prodigy nails a Face crusher on Ghost. He climbs the turnbuckle.***

Matt: Oh my god! Could it be! It is! The one Winged Angel on behalf of Aerial Prodigy.

***Aerial Prodigy dives off the turnbuckle and nails the One Winged Angel on Ghost.***

1… 2… 3!

***The bell rings and the match is over. The crowd goes nuts at the spectacle of high flying wrestling they just saw. Aerial Prodigy helps Ghost to his feet and they shake hands before leaving the ring to Aerial Prodify’s music.***

***After the match, the camera switches over to Matt and Clash.***

Matt: Well, in just a few moments, we will find out not only who the number one contender to the ICW Championship is, but we will also find out who this mystery man in the match is.

Clash: Who cares who it is. Not a single one of them will ever be able to beat Payne.

Matt: That remains to be seen. It might not even be Payne that they’ll have to face. I may be Rik Kendell

Clash: How dare you make me choose between Payne and my Favourite Wrestler.

Matt: Who said you had to choose? Hey, what’s going on?

***The camera goes to the entrance and It shows druids come to the ring holding candles and a coffin. They make their way closer to the ring with Shocker and Mila behind the coffin. Mila is crying. They come to the ring and put the coffin in the ring. Shocker grabs a microphone.***

Shocker: Hey peeps. You might be wonderin’ why this coffin is in here. Mila get me the spray paint.

***Mila passes the spray paint to Shocker. Shocker wrote "Sab" on the coffin. Suddenly Shocker opens the coffin and The Sabbath jumps out.***

Clash: WHAT THE FUCK!

***The Sabbath grabs the microphone.***

The Sabbath: Y’all thought I was dead but you know what! Ya can't kill what you don't know. Ya'll don't know me. I'm an ass and you all fell for IT! Holy shit! I knew I was at a PPV but I didn't know the people here are so stupid! I mean come on even John Payne knew it was going to happen. All of you knew I was going to come back sooner or later whether it bee in a year later if I was really dead in a tribute or the same night If I was brought back from the dead. You people are dumber than Rik. I mean you are all stupid idiots.

Shocker: It was a plan for me to get into ICW. Fuck all ya’ll.

Mila: I mean come on New Yorkers you should have known what you can’t kill a holy one. I am here to say to all of you in ICW and in the world are stupid idiots. We are here and there is nothing you can do about it. You all in ICW who didn’t believe that Butch was dead then you were smarter than I thought. Butch what do you have to say.

The Sabbath: I have some final words. John Calvin Payne or Rik Kendell watch out because whichever one of you wins the belt will have the pleasure of feeling the Sabbath day.

***Shocker,AK47,Mila, and The Sabbath leave the ring. Mila stops by the entrance.***

Mila: Oh and this is the beginning of the end for all you stables the Lightning Bolt will shock all of ICW!

***They all leave the ring.***

Matt: Now that was sick and disturbing.

Clash: To say the least.

Matt: Sabbath faking his own death just so that his brother could get into the ICW. How could a man be so vile?

Clash: It makes no sense, even to me.

Matt: But thankfully right now we will find out who will be facing either John Payne or Rik Kendell for the ICW Championship at our next pay-per-view extravaganza.

***Pennywise’s “Fuck Authority” hits the arena and the crowd erupts as Justin Sane heads to the ring. He gets in the ring and waits for his opponents.***

***The first few cords of the song play, and the lights dim. Sky blue lights flicker, and the crowd cheers. The lights explode on, with this…***
Let's FIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!!!!!
***Shawn Temp Walks out, onto the stage. He looks around in the crowd, and soaks in all of the cheers. He is wearing a pair of Black 30 inch wide JNCOs. The lights are still a little bit faded, as the sky blue lights flash.***

We're face to face
Loyalty is what I need to see from you
You're insecure
I can see the fear that breeds in your heart
Where will you run? Where will you hide?
I see the look drift from your eyes
Who will survive? Let's get it on
And we'll fight

***He runs down the ramp, and dives into the ring. He jumps to the top turnbuckle, showing his supreme agility.***

I know who you are
The leader of lost souls
You can't kill me
I'm immortal
I'm not afraid to die
My soul will travel on
You can't kill me
I'm immortal
Immortal
Immortal
Immortal

***He back flips off, and Hops onto the opposite turnbuckle. With the crowd cheering him on.***

I need the rush
There's nowhere you could hide before you die
Why won't you face me?
I can see the fear that's in your eyes
Where will you run? Where will you hide?
I see the look drift from your eyes
Who will survive? Let's get it on
And we'll fight

I know who you are
The leader of lost souls
You can't kill me
I'm immortal
I'm not afraid to die
My soul will travel on
You can't kill me
I'm immortal

***He stands in the center of the ring, as the pictures flash, he does the spinning around moves, then focuses on the entrance.***

I know who you are
The leader of lost souls
You can't kill me
I'm immortal
I'm not afraid to die
My soul will travel on
You can't kill me
I'm immortal

Where will you run?
Where will you hide?
Let's fight

***Shawn listens to the music fade, and jumps around, getting his body pumped for this match.***

I know who you are
The leader of lost souls
You can't kill me

I'm immortal
I'm not afraid to die
My soul will travel on
You can't kill me
I'm immortal

I know who you are
The leader of lost souls
You can't kill me
I'm immortal
I'm not afraid to die
My soul will travel on
You can't kill me
I'm immortal

You can't kill me
Immortal!
You can't kill me
Immortal!
You can't kill me
Immortal!
You can't kill me!!!!!!!!!

***He turns to the ring announcer and accepts the microphone and raises it to his face to speak.***

Temp: From what I hear there’s a sorry punk that wants in on this match. Justin, I say we forget about him and go one-on-one as this match should have been in the beginning.

***Temp drops the mic and gets met by a series of kicks from the ICW Cult Icon. The two trade blows in the corner once Shawn makes it to his feet.***

***Suddenly the lights go out and we hear the theme to the Phantom of the Opera.***

Matt: What the hell?

Clash: I’m thinking the same thing. I thought we fired this guy.

Matt: Something tells me that got changed.

***A giant explosion rocks the arena and Mr. Charisma appears in the ring and hits a knee lift to the back of Justin’s head. He then goes and Irish whips Shawn Temp to the opposite corner, and tries to follow up, but Temp kicks out, hitting Charisma in the face.***

***Justin Sane comes in from behind and rolls Charisma up, but the pin is broken at two by Temp. Sane and Temp then work together on Charisma, hitting a double flap jack to the former ICW Champion.***

***Charisma gets up slowly holding his jaw, and is met with a dropkick from Temp that knocks him to the outside of the ring. Temp then goes and locks on a head lock to Sane. Sane counters and sends Temp to the ropes, and both men go for a shoulder block and Sane goes down.***

***Temp goes to the ropes again and Charisma grabs his leg pulling him to the outside ring area.***

Matt: I don’t know why Charisma is back, but it looks like the wild card is really going to make an impact here.

Clash: I don’t care. The ref should send his ass away right now.

***Charisma tries to whip Temp to the ring post, but Temp reverses and send Charisma hurtling into the ring steps. Charisma looks to be in obvious pain as Temp slides back into the ring, and gets met by an elbow drop from Sane.***

***Sane helps Temp up and then applies a suplex to him, going for the cover as soon as he does so.***

Matt: Sane with the cover here . . . 1 . . . 2 . . . No, kick out by Temp.

Clash: Why is the ref not getting rid of Charisma?

***The ref is cautioning Sane on the use of closed fists as Charisma gets back in the ring and knocks Sane into the referee.***

Matt: This can’t be good. The ref has been knocked out.

***Charisma is flaunting what he’s done when Temp levels him with a quick DDT, and then goes for the cover. He only gets a two count, and then waits for Charisma to get back up before he clotheslines him over the top, and back out to the floor.***

***Justin gets up and hits a neck breaker on Temp and then locks on the Pressure Switch. Temp grabs the rope, but because the ref is out there is no one to break the hold, or to call for the bell. Charisma climbs back into the ring and kicks Justin to break the hold.***

***When Justin gets back up, Charisma hit’s the Ovation DDT on Justin and goes for the cover. But once again, because the ref is out cold there can be no winner yet.***

Matt: This has to be frustrating. Sane could have been disqualified, and Charisma could have the match won right here, but there’s no ref to make the call.

***Charisma breaks the pin and then goes over to the ref to try and wake him up. But as he does so, Shawn nails him from behind with a drop kick that makes Charisma land throat first on the second rope.***

***Temp sees Justin trying to get up, and sees Charisma positioned on the second rope and then makes his decision. He bounces off the ropes and then jumps onto Charisma’s back. Charisma then rolls out of the ring after laying on the mat.***

***Temp then sets Justin up on the top rope and hits a beautiful superplex that knocks the wind out of both men.***

Matt: This is anyone’s game right now. And I’ve seen no mistakes from any of the men in this match.

Clash: Because Charisma shouldn’t be in this match, right?

Matt: What ever.

***It is at this moment that the ref starts to move. Charisma at the same time climbs back into the ring with a chair in hand. Also at the same time, Temp puts his arm over Justin’s chest.***

***The ref slowly makes the count as he recovers. 1 . . . 2 . . . BAM!!!!***

Matt: What the hell?

Clash: Ha-ha. If the ref saw that I’ll be pleased.

Matt: Looks like he did.

***The ref staggers to his feet and then confronts Charisma. He points to the chair in Charisma’s hands and then mimes the use of a chair. But Charisma continually says “no.” But the ref knows better.***

***The ref then points to Charisma and then points to the entry ramp.***

Clash: Yes. Charisma is gone from the match.

Matt: I think you’re right. Charisma looks to be disqualified from the use of the chair.

Clash: Putting us right where we should have been to begin with. Hey wait a minute.

***Before Charisma leaves the ring, he picks up Temp and hits the Ovation DDT, followed by another one for Sane. Only then does he finally leave the ring, smiling cockily as he does so.

Matt: Well, this can’t be good. What if neither man can get up now?

Clash: Who cares, Charisma is gone from the match as he should have been to begin with.

***The ref starts his ten count only after he makes sure that Charisma is gone. He gets to six before either man stirs. By nine both are up to their knees, and the ref doesn’t get a chance to count ten and ending the match in a draw. Not this time. This isn’t one of those cheesy Last Man Standing matches.***

***Sane and Temp then start trading lefts and rights, with Temp eventually coming out on top and then Irish whipping Sane to the opposite corner. Shawn runs in for a shoulder block, but Justin is prepared and leaps up, ties up Shawn and gets the pin for a two count.***

***Justin does not wait for Shawn to get up, he goes right for another Pressure Switch.***

Matt: Justin with his signature move, the Pressure Switch. This could be the end for Shawn Temp.

***But slowly, very slowly, Temp makes his way to the ropes. Inch by inch he crawls while locked in the hold. And make it to the ropes he does, and the ref calls for the break.***

***Justin breaks the hold and drags Temp back to the center of the ring. He tries to lock on the Pressure Switch again, but Temp counters and manages to roll up Sane for a pin.***

Matt: Pinfall attempt by Shawn. One . . . two . . . No, Sane kicks out.

Clash: Could this match get any better?

Matt: This match has been nothing but non-stop action. NWA, eat your heart out.

***The two are slowly back to their feet again and Justin tries for a clothesline, but Temp ducks under and then hits a Russian Leg Sweep on Sane. After which, Temp goes to climb to the top rope.***

Matt: I think Shawn is looking to end this match here with the same move that he used to help get his win over Tommy Masters.

Clash: Well, he better hurry. Only one man can win this match.

***Shawn settles on the top rope, but is met by Justin Sane. Sane tries to get Temp into a superplex, but Temp fights his way out of it, and pushes Sane away.***

Matt: This looks like the end right here.

Clash: I don’t know, Sane landed pretty far away.

***Temp jumps from the top, turning his leap into the Temperature Rising, and landing right on Sane. While looking like he’s in pain, Temp manages to make the cover.***

Matt: One . . . Two . . . Three. That’s it. Our new Number One Contender.

Chris Watts: The winner of the match, and the Number One Contender for the ICW Heavyweight Championship, Shawn Temp!!!

Matt: Listen to this crowd. Do you think that Madison Square Garden has ever, ever seen such a great display of wrestling action?

Clash: Never. Not even the pale imitation of the WWE can hold a candle to us.

Matt: Now I’m getting word that Jae Chang is in the suite of Luscious Larry. Let’s go find out.

***The scene switches and we see Jae Chang in what does appear to be a suite over looking Madison Square Garden.***

Jae: Thanks Matt. And yes, I’m in the suite that was rented for this event by one Luscious Larry for this beautiful, and expecting woman. Larry’s wife Ana.

Ana: Do you really have to say that Jae?

Jae: What, you don’t want Larry to hear that I think your beautiful?

Ana: You tease.

Jae: Anyway Ana. Your husband is the guest referee in tonight’s main event.

Ana: That’s right. And I don’t want to think about it. I’m just here to get away from mine and Larry’s home and enjoy the show.

Jae: Then you won’t mind my asking your opinion on the next match?

Ana: I haven’t even got a clue what match is next.

Jae: Well, it’s the Number One Tag Team Contendership match.

Ana: Oh, that. I’ll tell you, I’ve got complete and utter “Faith” that the Dynamic Divas are going to win that match.

Jae: Now, are you biased because you’re friend Eliza Dushku is in that match?

Ana: No, but I do think that Alyson is.

Jae: Alyson?

Ana: Hannigan. Another good friend that came here tonight to watch the show.

Jae: Then I’ll let you be. Matt, James, back to you.

***"Homies" by The Insane Clown Posse slams over the speakers in the arena and Mr. Bones steps out from behind the curtain, he looks around at the crowd as a spotlight shoots around between him and the audience. Firestorm sneaks out behind him and jumps on his back as he starts to walk down the aisle. Mr. Bones carries Firestorm about halfway down to the ring then drops him off and they both run down to the ring and slide in under the bottom rope and stand in the center of the ring side to side. They pose for a bit and then leave to ringside where they accompany James Clash and Matt Hayes at the announcing booth.***

Clash: Welcome boys.

Mr. Bones & Firestorm: Wassup New York!

Matt: A very special welcome to our special guest commentators, The Juggalo Nation!

***“Snowblind” by System of a Down hits and the Sweedish Pickles make their way to the ring. They run down the isle and slide under the ropes.***

Matt: Here is the Sweedish Pickles. And due to the unfortunate deaths of both members of X-Sabbath, this match is now a regular tag match. Here come their opponents.

***The opening guitar sequence of "Another One Bites The Dust" blares out of the speakers as lights of gold and silver flash in rhythm to the music and fan across the cheering audience. Massive quantities of gold and silver metallic glitter falls from the ceiling as pictures of Celeste flying through the air and delivering a lariat are shown on the ICWtron along with images of her dressed in black. Celeste appears on the stage and waits for her partner Eliza. "We're Not Gonna Take It" by Twisted Sister blasts out of the speakers, and Eliza along with Celeste, walk down to the ring to meet the Sweedish Pickles head to head.***

***Eliza pairs off with Nightmare Evil, and Celeste with Pimp Masta.’ The ladies start off pretty well, and then toss both men into the ring. The Pickles use that brief time to get to their feet, and when Celeste and Eliza climb into the ring, they drop elbows the ladies’ backs.***

Matt: Doesn’t look like Nightmare and Pimp are going to hold anything back.

Firestorm: Man, I gots to light up, I don’t know if I can watch somethin’ like this sober.

Bones: I hear dat. Hand me some of that sweet reef.

Matt: That’s not the same stuff you sold Jake Bronie is it?

Firestorm: Hell naw! What, you actually think I’d sell the good stuff to that fool?

***The match officially starts when Eliza gets clotheslined over the top rope and Nightmare Evil allows Pimp Masta’ to begin the match.***

***Pimp Masta’ twists up Celeste’s arm and goes and makes the tag to Nightmare Evil. Nightmare comes in and gives a quick kick to Celeste’s midsection, and then puts her in a reverse head lock. Celeste hits Nightmare with a few forearm shots to the gut and then sends him to the ropes. Celeste then takes him down with an arm drag.***

***Celeste then puts Nightmare into a head lock and goes over and makes the tag to Eliza. The two ladies switch places in the ring, and Eliza hit’s a spinning crescent kick to Nightmare’s temple. He goes down and Eliza picks him up and then plants him with a DDT.***

Matt: Great team work by Celeste and Eliza.

Clash: Who cares. I’m more interested in Nightmare and Pimp Masta’ stripping these two ladies of their clothing.

Matt: That’s not right.

Clash: Don’t tell me you wouldn’t want to see it.

Firestorm: Hell, if Bonesie and I get the chance, we’ll make those dreams come true.

Bones: Hell yeah. I’ll even make ‘em honorary hos.

Matt: I’m surrounded by nothing but horny teens.

Clash: Don’t tell us you don’t like the ladies.

Matt: I’m happily married thank you.

Bones: Don’t mean you can’t look.

***Eliza backs Nightmare into the corner and then Irish whips him. But Nightmare reverses and Eliza blocks by jumping up to the second rope. She immediately jumps around for a cross body block and gets the first pin for a two count before it’s broken by Pimp Masta.’***

***Eliza goes and clotheslines Pimp Masta’ out of the ring, and when she turns back, gets a dropkick for her troubles. Nightmare then pounds on the back of her head before going to make the tag to Pimp Masta.’***

***Pimp Masta’ takes as much advantage as he can and applies a camel clutch to Eliza. But Eliza is too close to the ropes and grabs hold. Pimp Masta’ breaks the hold and then suplexes Eliza.***

***He then sets up the celebrity diva in the corner and comes running at her for a clothesline. Eliza is unable to move out of the way in time and takes the move full force. Pimp then snap mares Eliza over, and applies a reverse chin lock.***

Matt: Celeste is getting a bit frustrated here.

Clash: No shit Sherlock.

Bones: Either one a you two want a hit offa dis?

Matt: No thank you.

Firestorm: Suit yourself. More for us Bones.

***Eliza manages to get to a standing position and tries to get out of the move, but Pimp throws her back down to the mat. He then goes and tags Nightmare back into the ring. Nightmare immediately hits a leg drop on Eliza and goes for a pin. He gets a two count before the pin is broken by Celeste.***

Matt: What an amazing match right here. Both teams vying for a chance at your tag team titles.

Firestorm: Huh? We have titles?

Bones: I think he means these big ass belts we have.

Firestorm: Oh yeah.

Matt: Well, you two won’t be any help now.

***Celeste defies the ref and stays in the ring, leveling Nightmare with a DDT. Then gets out of the ring, but still gets chastised by the ref. This allows Pimp Masta to get in and he positions Eliza in the corner and smashes her in it with a splash.***

***Pimp then places Nightmare over Eliza for the pin, and when the ref turns back, he makes the count. But Eliza just barely kicks out before the three.***

***Both Eliza and Nightmare slowly get up. Nightmare manages to Irish whip Eliza into the ropes, and tries for a clothesline, but Eliza ducks under it. She ducks under a second attempt, and on the third pass, both competitors try for a clothesline, which knocks both of them flat to the mat.***

Matt: Great action, and I can’t help but say that no matter who wins, that you boys are going to have one hell of a battle on your hands.

Clash: Who cares, just so long as the cock tease and the celebrity slut lose their clothing.

***Both Eliza and Nightmare Evil are moving slowly to their corners. Nightmare makes it just seconds before Eliza makes the tag to Celeste. Celeste comes in and spears Pimp Masta’ down and then clotheslines Nightmare into the corner.***

***Celeste then hits a spinning neck breaker on Pimp Masta’ and then goes for the pin. She gets a two count before the pin is broken by Nightmare. Nightmare and Celeste trade blows before Eliza spins him around and clotheslines him over the top rope.***

***Eliza then goes back to the corner and Celeste hit’s a Celestial Lariat on Pimp Masta.’ She goes for the cover, gets two before she gets pulled to the ring side area by Nightmare. Celeste ducks under a punch and hits a sidewalk slam to Nightmare and then climbs back into the ring.***

***Celeste tags in Eliza. Eliza climbs to the top rope and waits for Pimp Masta’ to get up before she leaps off with a missile dropkick that floors the Pickle. Eliza goes for the pin, but only gets two before Pimp kicks out.***

Matt: Fast and furious, these two ladies are not going to let up.

Clash: I wouldn’t want them to let up on me.

Matt: Get your mind out of the gutter.

***Pimp somehow manages to hit a neck breaker on Eliza and then tags in Nightmare. Nightmare comes at Eliza with a double axe handle, but gets a drop toe hold for his trouble. But Nightmare is up quickly enough, but Eliza drops him with another drop toe hold. She then goes and dropkicks Pimp Masta’ off the ring apron.***

***But when Eliza turns back she gets leveled by a violent clothesline from Nightmare. He goes for the cover, and gets two before the ref is pulled out.***

Matt: What is Pimp Masta’ doing? He just cost his team the match.

Clash: I wonder if he even knew it was Eliza getting pinned. Shit, I’d like to pin her.

Matt: Any way. You might be right. Nightmare is none too pleased, and Pimp Masta’ is looking like he’s sorry. And in the mean time, Eliza has tagged in Celeste.

***Celeste waits for Nightmare to climb back into the ring, and flattens him with a Celestial Lariat.***

Matt: Two Celestial Lariats in one night. What a treat.

***Celeste then tags Eliza back in after setting him up in the ring, and then goes after Pimp Masta.’***

***Eliza climbs to the top rope and goes for the Leap of Faith, but Nightmare moves out of the way. Nightmare and Eliza both get to their feet unsteadily. Nightmare goes for a clothesline, but Eliza ducks under and spins around and hits the Faith Kick right under his chin.***

Matt: And Eliza with the cover. One . . . Two . . . Three! The Dynamic Divas are the number one contenders for the tag team titles!

Clash: Can this day get any worse?

***Celeste and Eliza celebrate their win on their way back up the ramp. While in the ring, Nightmare Evil and Pimp Masta’ are arguing over what happened in the match. Pimp Masta’ tries several times to apologize to Nightmare, but Nightmare won’t have any of it. He then turns a retreating Pimp Masta’ around and levels him with a clothesline.***

Matt: What the hell? Are we witnessing the dissolution of the Sweedish Pickles here tonight?

***Nightmare then mounts Pimp Masta’ and starts punching his partner’s face. When he’s done with that, he goes and applies the Liontamer to Pimp Masta.’ Pimp Masta’ is tapping furiously as Nightmare has him in the move. The ref finally manages to pull Nightmare off of Pimp Masta,’ but Nightmare is not done.***

***Nightmare goes on the outside of the ring, and grabs a chair. He then slides back in the ring and nails Pimp Masta’ with it right over the head.***

Matt: What is going on here?

Clash: We’ve just witnessed a much needed change in Nightmare Evil.

Matt: I don’t know if this is for better or worse. Folks, here’s a video showcasing how these two men came together in tonight’s main event.

***The video ends and we are treated to a shot of the announce booth.***

Matt: Take a look at that.

Clash: What?

Matt: In the ring. It’s Michael Buffer.

Clash: Hey! It’s Madison Square Garden, you have to get every expense you can afford, right?

Matt: I guess so. Well, might as well go to Michael Buffer for the introductions.

***The camera switches and we see Michael Buffer standing proudly in the ring.***

Michael Buffer: This is the main event for ICW’s Ride or Die pay-per-view event. For the thousands in attendance, and the millions watching around the world . . . Ladies and gentlemen, we are READY TO RUMMMMMBBBBBBBLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

***The crowd cheers for the classic Buffer catchphrase being uttered for the first time at an ICW event.***

***The lights in the arena cut down as green lights and lasers flicker on the stage and ring. "Kick Some Ass" starts, and as it gets louder, fireworks around the stage pop off, and Rik Kendell appears on the stage. He runs out to one side near the crowd, posing cockily, and arrogantly saunters down to the ring, talking trash about his opponent.***

***God’s Favourite Wrestler does one lap of the ring, talking smack the whole time and leaps up onto the apron suddenly, facing the crowd. Rik climbs slowly through the ropes, spits out his gum, and grins smugly as he warms up in the ring.***

Buffer: Introducing first. He is a former ICW Champion himself, having captured the title and then stripped when he was fired. Here is, Rik “The Dragon” Kendell.

***Suddenly “O’Fortuna” plays.***

Buffer: And his opponent . . . He is the ICW World Heavyweight Champion, called by his friends as Big Dick Nasty or Johnny Treacherous. He is John Calvin Payne.

***The ICW Champion comes to the ring walking very cockily.***

Buffer: And now, the special guest referee. He himself is also a former ICW Champion, and to date he has the longest run as champion. He is Luscious Larry.

***Kid Rock’s “Cowboy” plays and the crowd erupts as Luscious Larry walks to the ring wearing a referees shirt.***

Matt: Listen to this crowd cheer, and they’re cheering for the guest referee in this match.

***Payne and Kendell don’t wait for Larry to get to the ring as Payne spears Rik down and starts kicking him repeatedly. Larry gets in the ring and tries to pull Payne off, but Payne almost throws a punch at Larry before he realizes that Larry is in a referee’s shirt.***

***And in this time, Rik is able to roll John up and get a pin. He only gets a two count before Payne kicks out of the pin. Payne gets up faster than Rik and drills him with a DDT. Payne then goes for a cover, and Larry goes for the count. It’s another two count, and Payne argues with Larry that it should have been faster.***

***Larry gets right into Payne’s face and says that it was only a two count, and that he did the same count for both men.***

***Payne turns around and gets thrown by his ring attire to the corner where Rik starts getting the better of the ICW Champion. He Irish whips him to the opposing corner and tries to follow up, but Payne hits Rik with a back elbow. Payne manages to follow up with a clothesline that takes the challenger down.***

Matt: I don’t know what to say, I thought for sure that Larry would be siding with Rik, but he’s actually calling this thing right down the middle.

Clash: He’s too worried about Payne taking Ana away from him.

Matt: Leave the man’s wife out of this. I’m really surprised to see her out here tonight.

***Payne locks on a sleeper hold to Rik. He holds on tightly, but Rik slowly gets to his feet. The challenger backs up and slams John into the corner, but Payne does not release the hold. Rik tries again, but Payne keeps the sleeper hold locked on.***

***Rik is unable to try again as he starts to fade away. Larry checks Rik for a submission, but Rik is fading too fast to say anything. So Larry goes to check Rik’s arm, it drops once . . . twice.***

Matt: If Rik’s arm drops one more time it’s over.

***But it doesn’t as Rik keeps his arm raised and slowly gets back to his feet. This time Rik tries a different strategy, he moves to the corner and uses the turnbuckles for leverage as he leaps back. This makes Payne land with his shoulders on the mat and Rik bridges back. Larry makes the count. One . . . Two . . . Payne kicks out.***

Matt: We almost had a new champion there.

***Payne and Rik get up and Payne knocks Rik to the ringside area. He follows out and goes and grabs a chair.***

Matt: What is he doing?

Clash: What ever he wants. Remember on Primetime Larry not only said he’d be the guest referee, but he was going to let this match go no holds barred.

Matt: You have got to be shitting me.

Clash: I shit you not.

***Payne swings the chair at Rik’s head, but Rik ducks down and Payne hits nothing but the ring post. Rik spears John back into the guardrail and the Irish whips him into the ring post.***

***Payne comes back from the move with his forehead busted wide open. Rik comes charging right at him, but Payne sees it at the last minute and sidesteps so that Rik also hits the ring post.***

Matt: This can’t be good, both men are bleeding from cuts on their foreheads.

Clash: Should be a blood bath match. Damn and here I am coming up with great match ideas during a match. What am I thinking?

***Payne grabs a camera cord and wraps it around Rik’s throat, making the challenger gasp for air. But Payne does not see the chair at Rik’s feet, Rik picks up the chair and slams it as best he can on Payne’s head.***

***This makes the champion drop the cable, after which he slides back into the ring. Rik follows suit shortly after, but Payne locks on a head lock. Rik turns Payne over into a pin. One . . . Two . . . Payne moves back to a sitting position with the head lock firmly in place.***

Matt: Hey look at this. Isn’t that Jerry Ross?

Clash: Yeah, so what?

Matt: Well, I’m just wondering what the hell he’s doing out here.

Clash: He’s got no business out here. He should go back.

***Jerry Ross goes right up to the ring and tries to catch Larry’s eye, but Larry is too busy counting the pin on Rik. Which is only a two count before the challenger kicks out. Both competitors slowly make it to their feet, with Payne firmly holding onto the head lock.***

***Finally, Jerry catches Larry’s eye. Larry goes over to him and tries to tell him to go back, but something Jerry says completely changes the expression on Larry’s face.***

Matt: I think Larry just got some news that doesn’t agree with him.

Clash: Nothing ever agrees with Larry. Why do you think he’s getting some on the side from Eliza?

Matt: I highly doubt that.

***Jerry Ross finishes talking to Larry and the former champion climbs out of the ring and walks away with Jerry.***

Matt: Now I know something’s wrong. Larry would never leave a match, even if he’s just a guest referee.

Clash: All the better, now we know we won’t have a biased ref in the match.

Matt: But head referee Bob Kath washed his hands of the match. None of the ICW officials are allowed to ref this match.

Clash: Well, he’s got to rescind that decision.

Matt: Sadly I’m forced to agree with you.

***Kendell and Payne don’t notice Larry has left the match until Rik has the champion in a small package for the pin. The crowd counts along and get up to “eight” before Payne gets a kick out. It is at this point that they realize that there is no referee in the match.***

***But it doesn’t matter to either man as Payne comes at Rik with a knee lift to the stomach and then a spike DDT. Head referee Bob Kath slides into the ring right as Payne is going for the cover, one . . . two . . . Rik kicks out.***

Matt: There, Bob Kath himself is out here for the match. Feel better?

Clash: Yes.

***Payne picks Rik up and then sends him to the ropes. Rik ducks under a clothesline, stops in his tracks and when Payne turns around nails him with the Hick Slam.***

Matt: This has to be over. That’s one of Rik’s patented moves, the Hick Slam.

Clash: Has My Favourite Wrestler reclaimed his glory?

Matt: We’ll find out. Rik pins, one . . . two . . . No, Payne has his foot on the bottom rope.

***Rik argues with the referee about what happened, but Bob Kath is adamant that Payne got his foot on the rope. He did, really. Don’t believe me? Watch the replay.***

***See right there. One . . . Two . . . Foot on the rope, and the ref breaks the pin. Told you so.***

***Rik sends Payne into the ropes and then tries to dropkick the champion, but Payne ducks under it and when Rik is getting up, drops him with a clothesline.***

***But the challenger seems to be getting a second wind as he gets up right away and knocks Payne back into a corner. Irish whips him to the opposite corner and then spears him down. Rik unsteadily gets up and then goes and climbs to the top rope.***

***He sits perched like, well, like a dragon waiting until Payne gets up. And once he does and turns towards him, Rik leaps from the top rope with a cross body block. But Payne uses Rik’s own momentum to carry over into a pin for himself instead of vice versa.***

Matt: What a reversal by the champion, and the pin one . . . two . . . thr, no Rik kicks out. Barely, but he manages to kick out.

***After the pin attempt, Payne staggers back to the corner to get a bit of a rest. But when Rik gets up he follows Payne in with a running clothesline. Payne ducks under and somehow manages to hoist Rik into the air and into . . .***

Matt: The Alpha! Are we going to see Payne’s very own finisher that we haven’t seen since he won the ICW Championship from Charisma?

Clash: Who knows the way this night has been going.

***Payne holds Rik up in the Alpha and walks to the center of the ring, right before he turns the move into.***

Matt: The Omega! We have just witnessed the Alpha and Omega. If I didn’t know better I’d say that this match is over.

***Payne covers Rik and referee Bob Kath makes the three count.***

Matt: Rik Kendell and John Payne just had one hell of a match, but the fury of Payne has turned out to be too much for the Dragon.

Michael Buffer: Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match, and still the Internet Championship Wrestling Heavyweight Champion of the World: John Calvin Payne.

Matt: This isn’t all for the ICW, but this is all for Ride or Die. Join us Thursday for Primetime. The special Celebrity Primetime edition. And next time we’re on Pay-Per-View will be next month for Zero Hour. Folks, for James Clash, I’m Matt Hayes, and this has been ICW Ride or Die.

***The last live shot we see is of a bloody John Payne dangling the ICW Championship belt in front of Rik Kendell’s face. Then the scene fades and the ICW scratch logo is shown.***

Credit: Larry, Regan, Rik and Clash on matches
Larry and Taylor for extra scenes.