Icehole and Quamp's comments:
Key:
Experiment # - Movie title (year movie was made) format of film (color vs. black and white)
With Short: Short name (when short was made) format of short (color vs. black and white)
#701 � Night of the Blood Beast (1958) black and white.
W/ Short: Once Upon a Honeymoon (1956) Color
Written by Gene Corman, Roger's brother. Executive producer: Roger Corman. Two Coremans, twice as nasty. A spaceship crashes into the ground. The pilot's dead. Two people find him there. Then they send a doctor to examine the dead pilot. Something is in the bushes, but we can't see what yet. There's some weird mark on his arm. Next something goes on the rampage. Back with the dead body, they find something weird in the man's blood. There's some EXTREMELY bad animation here. Next they find that someone has sabotaged a jeep outside. They go back and forth between this guy and other things. The dead pilot wakes up and has a lot of pain. He then goes under the fluoroscope, and they find several aliens growing inside him. Then an adult alien enters. It goes on a rampage before being killed. Then people chase it out into a field, where it attacks the woman. (Oh, she's the requisite smart woman that's pretty ditzy.) After a long, drawn out chase the creature confronts the people. It tells them that it will give them immortality, at the cost of their free will. Of course, humans don't want to give up their free will. In the end, they burn the blood beast to death. However, they leave Johnny (The guy with the blood beasts growing inside them) by himself. We've got enough wooden acting to build a subdivision here.
The short, "Once Upon a Honeymoon" concerns itself with a young couple that has been married for almost a year but hasn't taken their honeymoon due to one problem or another. A guardian angel (that looks a lot like Charles Nelson Riley) goes down to help them out when a prissy Prima Donna tells them the song he wrote isn't good enough. The wife starts singing about what she wants in life. She can barely sing. She wants various things, and the angel grants them. Contrived plotline, a severe lack of reality bad acting and a horrible song shoot this one down.
In the Non-Turkey Day hosting segments, the bots have self-defense weapons like tasers and mace. Pearl makes Clayton play the trombone, and of course, he stinks at it. She dresses him in a bow tie and pants that come up to his chest, and Clayton looks terrible. Mike tries to come up with a song while Tom and Crow try to play angel. Tom crashes into the wall. Gypsy sings the song "Decorate with phones." Mrs. F tries to embarrass Clayton in front of Mike and the bots, and ends up shooting him. Crow is pregnant from the Bloodbeast.
IMDB link - Night of the Bloodbeast IMDB link - Once Upon a Honeymoon
#702- The Brute Man (1946) black and White
With Short: The Chicken of Tomorrow (1948) color
Starring nobody important, this horse's backside on film is about a serial killer that breaks women's backs. He hides out with a woman while the police look for him. She's blind, and he falls in love with her. She's nice to him, in a na�ve sort of way. She's a Katherine Hepburn clone, only with about 1/10th the acting ability. She's a music teacher by trade.
Pretty bad acting and lots of late 1940's car driving fast scenes abound here.
In the short, "The Chicken of Tomorrow" talks about life on a chicken ranch in the 1950's � 1960's. It talks about how chickens are raised from the egg to adulthood and then sent off to market. It talks about how they are engineering a chicken to produce more and produce bigger and better eggs.The narrator drones in a non-stop monotone and is very unconvincing. It was made with the help of Texas A&M University, the butt of many a joke in Texas.
In the hosting segments, Pearl has a date with a rather slimy guy. She leaves Crow in charge, and naturally, Crow goes power mad. In the film there's a guy that looks like former presidential candidate Tom Dewey, and Crow sings "Hang Down Your Head Tom Dewey." At the end, Dr. F turns the slimy guy into the Chicken of Tomorrow.
IMDB link - The Chicken of Tomorrow
#703 � Deathstalker and the Warriors from Hell (1989) color
Originally titled Deathstalker III: Deathstalker and the Warriors from Hell. The Deathstalker series wasn't too good to begin with, and part III was bad to say the least. More summary coming soon
IMDB link � Deathstalker III: Deathstalker and the Warriors from Hell.
#704 � The Incredible Melting Man (1977) color
Space, the final frontier and where this movie starts. While in space, a crew of an expedition has an accident. Back on Earth, one of them finds that he's turned into a monster. He goes out of the place. Then they show some pretty boring fishing scenes just before the monster goes and kills. Next a woman who's a bouffant hairdo on a stick and her rail of a male friend put up groceries. He then eats a bowl of soup while they talk. As you can imagine, this grinds the film to screeching halt. Then it shows a severed head flowing down a river. Cut to a couple of brats that smoke cigarettes. There's a sister of these brats that spots the melting man. Cut to a dude who follows the Melting Man with a Geiger counter. It seems the Melting Man is radioactive. Then they show an old couple driving home. They're in a romantic mood, and she can't keep her hands off of him. This is not the kind of couple you'd want to see kiss; it'll give you nightmares. They try to take an orange from a tree, but are stopped. Next we see a guy give a woman a pill to let her sleep. It turns out she's sick. While she's out cold, and the guy is making dinner, the Melting Man visits. Eventually two lovers come to the same home and discover the melting man has been there. They have a tension-filled explore the house scene, which drags the film's pace down to that of a snail. Once the melting man has been found, the woman of the couple races to the kitchen and bars herself there. The Melting man attacks, and she cuts his arm off. She really acts VERY badly after this. Her lover gets the police to help out. They find the Melting Man at the power plant. Eventually the Melting man gets shot a few times, and the guy he was fighting gets thrown onto a bunch of high-voltage wires. Eventually, the melting man melts completely, and dies. It's pretty disgusting. The next day, they show someone cleaning up the melting man's guts while another goes into a buildng. The pace is extremely slow and the acting is pretty bad. It stars noted director Jonathan Demme. It shows why he's a director and not an actor. In the end, They talk about what they learned from the film.
In the hosting segments, Mike and the bots play baseball. Crow sent a script to the mads, who tell them that quite a number of revisions must be made. Then they budget $800 for the movie. Pearl and Dr. F go via the Umbilicus to the SOL and meet face-to-face with Mike and the bots. They argue about the script. Once the movie gets started, things go wrong. Director Crow goes on an ego trip. Dr. F does a study group on Earth vs. the Soup. The focus group tells us about this film. (In the audience are Paul Chapin and Jim Mallon.) Pearl tells us that 64% of the people didn't like Cruella de Vil, even though she wasn't in the movie. In the end, Pearl tells Crow he's got to remove his name from the credits, and the film will be released only as a trailer.
IMDB link - The Incredible Melting Man
#705 � Escape 2000 (1984) color
Originally titled Fuga dal Bronx. We have Italian disaster again! Apparently here the Bronx has been declared unfit for human habitaiton, and the powers that be decide to tear it all down and start all over again. Unfortuantely, there's always some idiots who decide that what could be a good idea is wrong. They stay in the Bronx and refuse to leave, going underground. Then there's a lot of mindless violence when the powers that be send people in to eradicate those who refuse to leave. There's also a reporter who takes up the cause of those who stay in the Bronx, and tells people about how the hangers on get killed. There's really nothing to endear you to either side of this mess, and in the end you end up not caring and wish this film would end.
#706 - Laserblast (1976) color
The last of the Comedy Central's episodes, it is also Dr. Clayton Forrester's last episode as well. The film stars Roddy McDowell. Near a desert town, aliens kill one of their own, apparently a fugitive. Then an annoying, bratty young man goes out to the area where the alien got killed and finds a laser gun the aliens left behind. Of course he gets power mad with the laser., especially after he finds a necklace that turns him into a carbon copy of the fugitive alien the other aliens were hunting. He looks like David Bowie in his Ziggy Stardust days. Next there's a pool party for no reason other than to show good-looking men and women in skimpy clothing. Being the 1970's, that means a bunch of string beans and Bill Gates clones. Crow sums it up best when he says "This is like Porky's without the charm." (Considering Porky's had little charm, you can bet this one stinks.) While the credits roll, Mike and the bots talk about Leonard Maltin's rating of the movie.
In the hosting segments, Crow and Tom tie up Mike to do a joke about Thunderdome. Down in Deep 13, Dr. F tells us his funding's been cut, and that he has to let the SOL plummet to earth. He undoes the Umbilicus. Pearl, we find out, has a truck driving liscence, and helps move stuff out. Next Mike and the bots find a way to make the SOL mobile, and so save themselves from plummeting into the ground. Mike dresses up like Captain Janeway from Star Trek: Voyager during this. In the last hosting segment, Dr. F releases the SOL and it drifts to the edge of the universe. In a scene reminiscent of 2001: A Space Odyssey, Dr. F is seen eating while the SOL hits the end of the universe. Suddenly everything becomes clear to Mike and the bots. They transform into pure energy and play at the edge of the universe. Back at Deep 13, an elderly Dr. Forrester (played by Trace's dad, Jack) is lying in a bed. He sees a giant videotape marked "The Worst Movie Ever Made" flanked by a white Crow and Tom. He sits up and tries to reach for it. Suddenly he's surrounded by a white light, and then turns into an infant. Pearl comes up to him and takes him. "Now I can do it right." She says.