One of my friends called late one night and I could tell something was bothering him.
He had purchased a computer from an old buddy the prior night. The deal was too good to be true. He should have known better. Sure enough, it didn�t take him long after getting home to discover that the machine was stolen. And it didn�t take much longer to start feeling guilty about it. Now he wanted to make it right.
He asked me to help get the computer back to its rightful owner without him �ratting out� his buddy. I agreed, only because I knew there was likely no other way to get the computer.
While mediating the return of the computer, a police officer called me. He wanted the name of my friend so police could get the computer. I tried to explain that my friend was concerned about doing the right thing but, given his past, he wasn�t really anxious to talk to police directly. I believed I would have the computer in short order. I told the officer that I would take care of it.
The officer on the phone told me that if I didn�t give my friend�s name, I could be charged as an accessory to the theft. The thought was somewhat incredible and insulting, but it caused me to weigh my options. I could tell the officer what he wanted, or I could keep doing what I told my friend I would do. I chose the latter, and told the officer I guess he would have to do what he had to do.
Things turned out okay. Within a couple of days the computer was back in the hands of the rightful owner. I didn�t get busted, my friend�s conscience was cleared, and he assured me he wouldn�t get into this position again.
The incident, however, caused me to reconsider what causes us to keep some secrets and reveal others.
As a pastor and as a friend, I am told many things by people who rely on my ability to keep a confidence. Sometimes it�s a hope or fear that runs too deep to be shared widely. Sometimes it�s a sin of commission or omission.
Often there�s a way to right a wrong without involving authorities and have an assurance that it won�t happen again. I will take some of these secret burdens to my grave, never wanting to violate the trust of someone who really is wanting to change their life and make things right.
In my neighbourhood, the label of �rat� is regularly applied to those who do violate a trust or reveal a secret. And I can understand that.
But there are times and places where a code of silence provides shelter for evil, not for good.
I can�t allow the threat of a label to deter me from dealing with thieves, pimps, dealers, diddlers, or spousal abusers. If you want to persist in that stuff, don�t call me a �rat� for telling authorities, call yourself a �fool.�
Those are the times I�d be worse than a �rat� if I didn�t tell someone the truth. I would be remiss if I knowingly allowed my office, or my friendship, to be used to cover harm to others.
I remember being in the hospital after a teenage OD. Police wanted to know from whom I purchased the drugs I consumed. I refused to tell them. It wasn�t so much a fear of those on whom I was asked to squeal, but rather a strange illusion of honor in the midst of my stupidity. I almost died a �loser�, but at least I wasn�t a �rat.�
Yet some of those friends died in the years following that incident, and the minds and lives of others were permanently scarred by the ways we covered for each other.
There are times I have rewound my mental videotape to that day and wondered if things would have been different had I told on them. Maybe if their parents knew� Maybe if they had gotten busted� Maybe if they had been forced to face their problems�.
The other day, I talked to some folks about Crimestoppers. It�s a tip line, offering rewards for people who tell the truth about criminals. Over the next while, people dressed in Crimestopper jackets with a photo ID will be selling calendars door-to-door. Each calendar includes coupons that make it a great deal. Whether it�s buying or selling the calendar, please find a way to support this valuable program.
My highest hope, however, is that more people will spend less time ducking labels than telling the truth.
Rev. Harry Lehotsky
514 Maryland Street
Winnipeg, Mb R3G 1M5
(204) 775-4929
[email protected]