| Baby number two was having a bit more trouble coming into the world. I kept having false labor that really, truly seemed real - would get to the hospital, wouldn't be dilated - at all, not even slightly, and would get sent home. The doctor was convinced I truly was in labor, but then wouldn't see any progress. FINALLY, he started asking me a little more about my medical history. After my first baby was born, I'd had some abnormal pap smears. Because that can happen after childbirth, my doctor ignored it. However, I was also having other issues with discharge that I knew wasn't just lochia and knew wasn't normal. It took four doctors to finally identify that a portion of the uterus was caught on the wrong side of the cervix when it closed, and had gotten infected. Treatment involved cryosurgery and a biopsy. Biopsy found pre-cancerous cells forming, which required cryosurgery again and another biopsy. This time when the biopsy was performed - the doctor literally said 'whoops' and apologized profusely for taking too much cervical tissue. It took them almost an hour to get the bleeding to stop. Apparently, this caused a great deal of scar tissue on my cervix which meant that it was entirely possible that my cervix would never be able to dilate and could cause a uterine abrupture if ignored. When my labor pains went back down to 2 minutes apart again and ranking extremely high (ok, off the chart) of the taco chart� it was time to make the decision to have a c-section. I was ok with the decision - after all, it would literally be a life saving surgery. However, I found it extremely interesting that about half an hour after the decision was made - while I was still being prepped� that I suddenly had a very severe panic attack. I don't have panic attacks normally, but it was very clear what this was� my blood pressure, my pulse rate, everything skyrocketed - I was ready to climb out of my skin. The minute I got the epidural and all physical sensation of the labor stopped - the panic attack completely disappeared. It's almost like my body was trying to send the signal that it was figuring out there was going to be a serious issue and demanded my conscious attention to that issue. I sincerely felt like something was very wrong� but the minute my body couldn't signal my brain anymore, I was completely relaxed. Anyway, if you have a c-section - don't look into the overhead lights. You can see everything. The minute I realized it, I tried very hard not to look, but couldn't help an occasional peek. Once the baby's head was out - I couldn't look away. The cord was wrapped around his neck, and to this day I wonder if maybe, just maybe, my inability to dilate was God's way of ensuring that we didn�t attempt a normal delivery that might have risked the baby's health. I didn�t get to see much of the baby - just a couple of glimpses as he was wisked off to first the warming table in the surgery room, and then another when he was wisked off to the nursery. I did hear the baby doctor commenting on how 'amazing it all was' when he was looking at my precious newborn whom I could only see his little fist waving above the incubator. Isn't it wonderful that he has a job where he can continue to be amazed by the sight of a newborn child? Alex was 7 lbs 8 oz, 21 inches long - a completely normal baby size (after his elder brother was 9 lbs 9 1/2 oz, and 24 inches long�) go figure, I'd deliver such a relatively small baby by c-section and his big-bruiser big-brother naturally. I always do tend to do things backward. This story was written by Penny |