So We Say Farewell
Author's Note: This is in Samori's POV (abreviation of point of view, in case you morons don't know). This is how P.S.#24's Class of 2004's Exit Day should have been like. Actually, most of it is true. I just changed a few things to my liking, and as a favor to my buddies (especially Gho, who requested that that she recieve more action even though she had quite enough according to my own eyes). There isn't a lot to be messed around with. Basically this is the true story of Exit Day with a few minor exagerations. If you're wondering which are and which aren't, just AIM me (itzonlysammy) or ask one of the witnesses :D
So I was like three minutes late for school. Is that anything new? I sware I got like over five detentions this year. Luckily you don't get detentions for the last few days of school..or do you? I wanted to be early honestly! My mom had to screw with my time. I realized I didn't really need to be extra early. Not like I wanted people to see me, especially in what I would never be expected to wear in public. Allowing to be forced to wear the dress was the least I could do. After all, I waisted my aunt's time when we went to three different places (more than 10 stores) just to look for something 'prettyful' to wear. The dress wasn't half bad either.
Anyway I struggled upstairs to the second floor with the stupid strappy high heels. I haven't been wearing them long, but my feet were totally killing me. Ugh..and the handbag or as 'real girls' call them, the purse. It was completely against my book..it was just plain wrong of me to be carrying it around. Thing is, it was also the wrong time of the month and I needed to carry the digi-cam and my cell.
Finally, the top step! Need..to..catch..my breath. *inhales*...*exhales* Now the classroom is just a few walks away. What am I kidding? It seems like it's five thousand miles away. My poor aching feet! How do these girls do it? What's wrong with sneakers? Okay..quickly heading to the door, kneeling down a bit in hope that no one will see me just yet. No..don't open the door! NO!! Aww man! Caught! Here it comes...
"Oh Sam!"
"You look so nice!"
"Wow!"
It's like country music to my ears. (Note: I don't really like country music) All those compliments for something stupid. They couldn't compliment me on my natural talents? Okay being the beautiful person that I am is in fact a great quality of mine, but I meant being admired for looking even prettier in a dress? I'm not that flattered. I'm a complicated little gal ain't I? Look at these people checking me out. I take my seat and pull of my shoes. Ah...wait I can't feel my toes. Oh god..here comes Josh. Might I say he looks good in whatever the hell he's wearing. I give the boy propz for wearing pink. It suits him.
"Samori's smoking!!!" after shouting that little comment aloud, he turned to me and smiled. "Hey Samori, wanna be my date?"
I simply just shrugged my shoulders and replied with an, "Yah sure whatever." Like the gay loser that he is, he pranced away all cheerful with glee. I rolled my eyes and turned my attention to Gayz who also had something nice to say.
"You look nice.." I grinned politely at his honest statement. "So you're still my date?" He recieved the same answer Josh did. I of course would pick Josh over him, but I wasn't really satisfied with either of the contestants. So we took some pictures, talked, and then went down for the ceremony. Now I'll fast forward to the dance itself.
We arrived at the Chandelier, a place I thought was kind of cheap. I've been to the diner once with my grandma who lived a few houses from here. I stood corrected when I entered the back, and set my eyes on the lovely setting they arranged. The groupie and I decided to sit in the back. It was a bad choice, and you'll know why later. Music began to play, we all settled in our seats for a minute before going around to mingle with others. Did I say we? I meant they. 'They' as in the other people in other classes. I guess being isolated from them really made our class less social. So..everyone's dancing. We're served a pitcher of soda, and we just sit there. Wow isn't that fun? That's the end!
Okay no it's not, but it could have been. That would have been thrilling. So it is MJ, Ro, Gia, Mani, & I sitting at our tables. We kindly invite Rogan, and Dougie to join us. That certainly made Mj uncomfortable didn't it? Lol. Sorry Nella, didn't mean to crowd you like that. It's kind of strange though. Everyone knew that I definetly hated Rogan. I just didn't see what the girls saw in him. I guess with a little comunication and with the help of Sumihanii, we became friends. I really made it seem like we were mortal enemies. I'm soo bad!
So we're finally allowed to eat. You can hear the complaining of losers who don't like or eat Italian food. I thought it was good though. Dumb Rogan thought the butter was candy. He's soo silly! Later, the two gentlemen who sat with us joined some of their friends around the dance floor. That's when Josh came and licked the top of one of the tea cups. Then when Rogan came back, we got him to drink pesalda (pepper/salt/soda) from the same exact cup Josh slobbered on. It was hilarious. I was too slow to take a picture of it. Sorry Mitchy ;D
Here comes the big moment. You see all the sluts and Gho dancing together and with their boys. Party animal freakazoids man! I mean I would have partied like them, but not with them around and stuff. Gross. I wouldn't be that..dirty either. Okay so skip that. They're dancing and dancing and then they're mad. cus' a slow song comes on. It's time for some mooshy gooshy romance time. Do you really think there was ever that kind of moment for any of us? Nope.
So I'm dancing with him. Yes, I admit it! There was a mooshy gooshy romance moment...for me at least. The crowd seem to enjoy it though. He just came up to me. Those shiny pleading eyes of his. I hate those! "You wanna dance?" How can three small words that don't have any real meaning to it be so..*sigh* How can I say no?
At that moment I couldn't say anything but, "Sure..". He took my hand, and brought me to the dance floor. We locked our hands, and I placed my other one around him. I looked back at the girls. They were completely dazed, like it was the special suprise ending in a romantic movie. Gho & Leiko were totally starring at us. How is it that we are the ultimate couple? What is it about us that clicks? I'm thinking everything! At that moment I was just thinking that's just it. This is the chance to forget everything and start off fresh. From this point on, there can finally be a happily ever after. Nothing can go wrong. It was like I was given a miricle. They just knew it, all of them. They knew this was how it was suppose to be. All those times I would lie strait to their face, and they still knew. I feel so just not me. What great friends..
Speaking of friends..he is so not a good one. That stupid idiotic Gayz!! Out of all the times he could have asked for the dance I promised him, he had to pick this time. He just stepped in like it was nothing. He sent him away. He shattered people's dreams of someday having that same special moment I had with him. I didn't know exactly what happened. I just found myself dancing with Gayz for the rest of the song. I looked at Gayz and he smirked. "I saw your pain." Did he really think I was in pain? That inconciderate...ugh! Why?! How I wished I could just shove Gayz away, and run back to him, have him with me again. I searched for him, finding him dancing with Vicky. I looked back at the girls again. This time their faces were filled with frowns. Before I knew it, the song was over and I was headed back to my table.
MJ was totally paranoid. Her hatebar for Gayz had risen about from 100% to 100% more. She was practically burning in anger. I was quite calm about the sitch or at least I appeared to be. Inside, I was absolutely disgusted in what Gayz did. How could he? That just ruined everything. That was my last chance, and it was like he just kicked it away into the deep deep bottom of the ocean. What was I going to do now? Back to just sitting there. After a few Gayz came by and I snapped at him for a reason he knew, but pretended to be clueless about. Time passed, and I got bored. I decided to head over to Leiko since she was sitting all lonesome like.
"Hey," I greeted as I sat down in a chair beside hers. She told me she noticed me and Eric. I told her exactly what happened. You know, that he came over and asked, we danced, and then Gayz cut. She saw it all, and she was just as upset as Nella. In fact, she said she was looking for her camera so she could take a picture, *rolls eyes* but when she returned to the scene, we had already departed. She also mentioned that Mr.Knox had asked her to dance first, but she rejected and insisted that he ask me instead. Then it hit me. I guess it wasn't so special after all. I was not his first choice. I wasn't his only choice, and I wasn't his only dance partner. What a shame. I felt totally...pudding-like.
So for the rest of the time at the Chandelier, I just sat. Josh had asked me for a slow dance which I kindly accepted. I mean, he was my date after all. I at least owed him a dance. He mentioned spotting 'the scene' as well. Did everyone see that? Did the whole world stop just to watch us share a simple slow dance? I was still puzzled about everything. Gayz knew exactly how to ruin things I thought. I heard other girls talking about him trying to grope them. What a complete loser!
So there I go back to sitting. It's like most of our moods were ruined by a certain someone. To make it worse, the major slut of them all decided to give some guys pleasure right by our table...in the back of the room. Did they think that we couldn't see them? It was horrifying. At this age you couldn't be any nastier than major lip lockage, but they sure knew how to beat that. It's bad enough we're all having a cruddy time. Did I say we again? I meant everyone in the groupie except Gho. Boy was she having a ball. By the looks of it, she had more than one. She had his whole set. A bit confused mate? Well it was Gho and Stephen. They were dirty dancing. They were getting very dirrty. Talk about a mud bath with extra gallons of mud. Yeah. When she says she's bad, she's bad to the bone. They were all over eachother...touching..kissing...all the togetherness. It was causing barfage developement so the teacher's pulled them apart. (note: a whole lot of exageration there)
That was a blast for her I bet. Don't we all wish we could get down and dirty like that. No we don't. We actually know how to control ourselves. We can settle for the late night movie and dinner thing. We won't throw it all away after that. After that, we'll probably go golfing, and our hunnies would win us teddy bears at the carnival. It'll take us years for us to actually fully connect. To actually think about giving it all up for him. Okay..I'm like so kidding myself! We would totally go over the overboard if we were in her position with our dudes. I know I would. Party time is party time! Let's all go wild and crazy!!!
Okay back to me. Back to just sitting there pondering. Occasionally people would stop by and try to convince us to dance. Of course those people were rejected right away. I started to lose my temper, like I said earlier, it was not the right time of the month. All I could do is look at him once in a while. He was just a few seats away. Why couldn't I just....
** I couldn't wait any longer. I gathered up my guts and stood up from my seat. Next I made my way to him and grabbed him off his seat. He looked at me with such an adorable confused look. I was filled with adrenaline, and courage. I couldn't help but give him a smooch on the lips. I gasped. Finally I had that feeling back. Everyone was in complete shock. I blushed a bit and pulled him towards the dance floor. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him close to me as we slow danced to a party song. I didn't care and it appeared that he didn't either. Forcefully, and totally unlike me, I planted my lips on his once again. I was just craving him more than anything. I was breathless. There it was, true magic. If you want something magical to happen, you just have to cast the spell. That didn't make sense. I think "if you want something done, you have to do it yourself" is a better expression. Still everyone was motionless. **
Snap out of it Samori. Like that is ever going to happen. *blink* * blink* Oh gosh. I'm such a spaz. Is it wrong to daydream? I don't think so. I mean it could really happen, every detail just like I imagined. Problem is, my guts and my instinct aren't cooperating. Why can't I just get up and be the outgoing person I am? I could totally be forward and go up to any guy without any difficulty. Okay, maybe I can't. Maybe I'm just building up my confidence too much. I'm making me seem bigger and mightier than I really am. Maybe it's just him himself. He's the one making it all hard. Ugh I hate that. Continuing to be miserable..
"Do you wanna dance?" I look up and who do I see? Dougie.. Didn't he just dance with Gho? He got half of his wish didn't he? (really he wanted to be her date) Why was he asking me to dance to the last song of the day with him?
"Uh no thanks."
"Please?" he pleaded. I look at my friends. They shrug their shoulders. Unwillingly I followed Dougie to the floor. It just didn't feel right, holding his hand. I couldn't tell if he was watching us. I made a face at Gayz and the rest of them. Can't they see my pain now? I'm in pain now?! Stupid Gayz!! 'Can somebody help me'...'free me before i slip away'....I wish I'd be sharing this last dance with Eric instead. *sigh* That's it. The dance is over..and we're heading back to school.
So that was Exit Day for me. So full of surprises, good and bad. After all that..it's over. And there's no way to change it. I came home and sat in the same spot I'm sitting now as I write this. I had a lot of thoughts on my mind. The story was pretty short if you look at it now. I probably left out a lot of things, but only bacuse I didn't know what those things were. Guess you're gonna have to get other people's POV of exit day. This was mine. Anyway as soon as I got home, and sat here, looking back at what had just happened.. I knew I had regrets. I knew that things could have turned out better than it did. A more delightful memory could have been left in my head, but there isn't. This is all of it.
I'm satisfied with the turn outs.....I guess you can be sad for me or you can care less. I was pretty upset and confused. I tried talking to Gho..didn't help much. Mitchy wasn't online, but she couldn't have been much help either. I talked to Gayz. I confronted him about how I really felt when he cut in. It was a little arguement. I knew Gayz cared about me, and I knew he still felt for me. He knew I still felt for Eric. Deep down, he just knew.
And that hurt me a little because if he were an unselfish friend, a good friend, a loyal friend...he wouldn't have done what he did. Talking to him wasn't really a good thing to do, but I got to express myself. I got to tell him what I wanted. Then again, we both knew that I'd never get what I really wanted. I told him strait up that he wouldn't either. Still he wouldn't give up, and I sure as hell wouldn't either.
Since MJ siezed to be availble I decided to write her an email in hope that she would reply with a solution or with some advice I could use before time ran out. Basically I was just pouring out about Gayz' interuption, the moment, and how I was feeling. I was urging for a quick reply, but I didn't get it till that Saturday, the day after gradution. A day..too late. Turns out..I was the one who had to give it up. I had to just let it all go, and give up my hopes of getting back with him. It was just a..fling..or something. It was time to move on. So I read Nella's reply. She agreed that Gayz was a complete jerk. She was totally into the idea of me going for it. She felt that the sound and thought of "we/us" was right. She wanted Eric and I to end up together. Who didn't?
Now...I'm just wondering where you are Eric. What are you doing? And if you ever read this..please just...know. I will always have a place in my heart for you. It's a cheezy line, but I mean it sincerely. I never really thought about being more than just friends with a guy at the time I met you. You came along, and changed my perspective a bit. You filled me with happiness and sadness. I had fun hanging with you..talking to you. I thank you for the annoying, yet memorable memories...for the times we shared. The sweet happy ending I was wishing for was a lot to ask for, but was the chance to be friends again too much as well? If you were to give me one last request from you to me...I wouldn't ask to go on a date. I wouldn't ask for one last kiss. I would like the shot of being friends, but more importantly...I just want you to honestly tell me what you're feeling right now. That's all I'm going ask you for.
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