Flirting with consciousness on rare occasion.
Quickly returning to the safety
of my grief, my anger, my shame.
Such a warm, wet, familiar tomb.
Away, in the beyond
a dim light disturbs my deep, restless sleep.
I rise with the darkness still in my eyes
and stumble toward the light.
Slowly, and wildly, I move
called by what I don't recognize.
Try as I might to return to my coma,
the apparition will not be denied.
And as I stagger slowly closer
the light becomes more brilliant.
It takes on qualities and features
that produce sensations within me.
Feelings I have never known,
yet have known me for ages.
What is it? I cannot even imagine, try as I might.
Yet its pull has me firmly in its grip.
Can I let loose of my womb of despair?
Choice seems no longer mine.
My eyes overflow
with the wonder of the specter.
My pace quickens
with anticipation of what is there.
My whole being is drawn
and my feet can no longer carry me quickly enough.
I let them go,
and the drifting, the flying begins.
Carrying me ever more swiftly
toward the magnificence.
It awakens in my heart,
and my throat, and my eyes.
The darkness has withdrawn.
The brilliance has me.
And yet, still am I thrust forward
with quickening pace.
A glance to the side
reveals beauty everywhere.
The mother of all that is here
invites me to suckle at her bosom.
I become the hungry wolf, the gentle snowfall, the
flowing water of life itself
and the sounds satisfy all my senses.
And still the radiance calls me forward,
every need fulfilled in the moment.
Fleeting glances of my desires
some slip away easily, others gratified..
Others are here, bearing me on my journey
and guiding me on the fleeting path.
They share their gifts of peace, love, and joy
and accept mine from my deepest place.
Is this the climax, the crescendo?
How can it persist?
Will I ever reach the light?
No, I am told, in words unspoken.
I am the light.
My providence, my being
is ever filled with mounting abundance
as I simply let it be.
And so I submit to the fullness
of the now.
