These principles were channeled through me in January, 2004. I share them here because they don't belong to me. I have started writing a book around these principles. Don't look for it on your bookstands, because I have no clue when (or even if) it might be finished. Comments welcome via email.... [email protected]
o Love wide open, full throttle
o Let go of feelings of fear of loss and vulnerability
o Extend love to other to its fullest capacity
o Receive love from other without fear or reservation
� o Follow my heart
o When different voices present themselves:
o Listen to the one which is the highest truth, ignore or deny all others
o The one which is the highest truth is the one that speaks to the joy and peace of loving big
o Acknowledge that both self and other are manifestations of Spirit, and as such, have unlimited capacity for giving and receiving the highest form of love
o Love unconditionally
o Let go of judgment about self, and other's perceived faults, or "warts".
o Feelings are not warts. Never ignore or deny other's feelings, expressed from the heart. Seek them, understand them, work with them.
o Focus on seeing only the beauty of self and other (including feelings)
o Let go of the past and future. Be the love that is here and now.
o Cultivate love of self first. My capacity for love of other cannot exceed love of self.
2. Spirit-centric
o See, feel, experience Spirit in self and other.
o Invite Spirit consciously into the partnership regularly and often.
o Invocation
o Ritual
o Prayer
o Meditation
o Sacred space
o Maintain a daily attitude of gratitude to Spirit for the love of other.
3. Openness
o Talk about the topics I least want to speak about with other.
o Speak what is true for me all the time, without concern for risk.
o Listen to other's truth, objectively and without judgment.
o Be open to a new way of looking at things (A Course in Miracles tells us that a miracle is just a change of mind).
4. Freedom
o Acknowledge that self and other are unique beings, each with his/her own spiritual path, needs, desires, creative expressions of self.
o Give self and other all the space he/she needs to express self and Spirit in one's own unique way. Without judgment.
o Make and take time for my self.
o Give other all the time and space he/she needs to be his/her own unique, beautiful being.
5. Detachment
o Detach from the idea that partnership is forever.
o Take all the goodness from the love that is here in this moment, minimizing expectations about the future.
o Acknowledge that if the partnership were to end, the experience of love and the lessons learned would be worth more than the pain of loss.
6. Growth and healing
o Recognize and acknowledge that self and other have wounds that prevent wholeness.
o Actively process one another when the shadow from wounds present themselves. Mine the gold hidden beneath the shadow.
o Fiercely hold self and other accountable for maintaining the highest standards of emotional authenticity, and integrity.
o Establish and honor boundaries.
o Never deny feelings - self or other's (Never "you shouldn't feel that way", but rather "why do you feel that way?")
o Always go with five feelings: mad, sad, glad, fear, shame/guilt
o Encourage self and other to seek higher levels of living and loving.
o Know and live my life's purpose.
o Never give advice unless asked.
o Listen. Listen. Question. Listen.
7. Fidelity
o Acknowledge that love is not exclusive, but rather universal.
o Let go of any expectations that other can love only me.
o Choose sexual exclusivity for self, realizing that polyamory has the potential to create hurtful feelings in other.
o Deny deep emotional intimacy and sexual desire/fulfillment with anyone except other.
o If the principle of fidelity is ever violated, own it to other immediately.