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| hey there. this is what i wrote today in class. i'm writing in green now cause i've been feelin quite sick all day. |
| just got here. i'm at school. barely made it here. i'm sweating and itching all over the place and i can't even take the benedryl till i get home cause it f*#^s up my head so bad. i woke up three or four times last night and it took me forever to get back to sleep. i'm so sick of this mess. i only itch on my torso and the top part of my legs. i'm ok when i'm still but once i get moving and hot i start to itch more and more. and the more i scratch the more i hurt. i'm taking off skin now.....damn still no word from april. gonna give it a rest for a while and see what happens. i'm gonna wait till wednesday.....deffinatly.....not gonna bend, not gonna break.....i'm worried about her but i think i might have put a little too much of myself into my image of her. only met her once. i agree that you can learn more stuff about a person on the internet cause you tend to tell more information but maybe this six days that i haven't heard from her has caused me to think too much. maybe she doesn't want to talk to me anymore and she just doesn't know how to say it. i'm gonna assume that cause the only other choice i have is to call her cell. but then if she doesn't want anything to do with me....it'll be that akward silence thing.....hate that. i want her to get a hold of me though. i asked her if she wanted to meet me at the strip on saturday. mary and audj and some of their friends are going to sues. i can't cause i'm the only person i know who is under 21. i won't get on that soap box right now but people know my views on that. so if i can't get a hold of her.....well.....i'll have to spend yet another saturday night alone. i hate that. hate it more than fridays. hate it with a passion. i hate being left out....the third wheel. i'm getting that tattood on my butt. bet me. all i want in this world is an equal. someone that thinks of me as often as i think of them. someone that will put me before others. someone that will laugh at a stupid little inside joke that only we know about. it's about time. i deserve it. i do. so if any of you know anyone like that.....tell her to e-mail me. i'm desperate, it's not life or death...but....it's close enough. my pops bought me a scanner last night. gonna have some homework to do and i don't know if audj's will be working. i needed one anyway. now i've got to get a printer and a new disk drive and maybe an external hard drive and i'll be all set. to do what , i'm not too sure. but what ever it is, i'm ready. well, class is about to start so i'd better go. hope your week is going better than mine. so...yeah....see ya.... PEACE |
| well, it's now 12:42am...that's tuesday morning. i came home after school and kept feeling worse and worse. now i've got this thing in my stomache. it started in my side this morning but....i think it's all the stomache acid. i'm off all medications except pain killers. if i'm ok in the morining i'll take my effexor and maybe a benedryl but no more steriods or antibiotics. the stomache acid keeps coming up and burning my throat but one med says no antacids and the other says 'this may cause heartburn'. great. so i'm miserable. and i only had one or two doses of benedryl so i'm all pepped up on steriods. i'm not in the least bit tired. and even if i was, the stomache acid would settle in the back of my throat. well, i'd like to thank napster for shutting down. i enjoyed you while you lasted but i think i've found something better. i had tried this earlier but couldn't get into it to start with. then i saw audj was getting some good stuff off of it so now i'm a supporter. it's called morpheus. get it. use it. downloads aren't particularly faster but it's pretty much easier to get video(yes, more porn) and songs and pics. and the more people who get on it, the more cool stuff there is. i got a harry connick jr song and a dmb song tonight alone and i'm working on a video. i also think i got the plug-in drive thing for my scanner from the site. i'll try it out after i sign off. colored my hair again. it was still a bit blue from two days ago and i put a little red on the tips. it's pretty cool if you ask me. the real test is in the morning. if my pillow is pink, then my color is bleeding. better it than me. i'm still nowhere close to feeling tired. what the hell am i gonna do? well, a bit more surffing and then i'm off to bed. PEACE |