| early sunday morning. kinda bummed. didn't go with april last night. haven't talked to her since tuesday...well technically it was 12 something in the morning. i'm about ready to give up. i mean if she wanted to talk to me she would have written, right? yeah. i know. but there's some part of me that just doesn't want to give up. i don't want anyone to give up on me and i guess that's where it comes from. still itching like a mo-fo. took benedryl. didn't work. i think my itches are laughing at me or something. it's almost been a week now and i've been on benedryl 90% of that time. i don't know how i'm gonna make it this next week. i can't drive too well when i'm on it cause i get sleepy and i can't concentrait....not that i can when i'm 'normal' but hey... i'm kinda hungry. i've got two or three pills that i need to take in the morning but i'm not a big breakfast eater. and if i eat now i might not be hungry at lunch. damn, too much going on and yet i'm bored. i might go cook something if i get too hungry here. audj and bubba and i went to wally world yesterday, my second trip of the day, and i bought some sheets to use as a drop cloth and background for my school project. i haven't even finished the thumbnails and i'm already like two steps a head of the class here. i just get so psyched sometimes. the only thing that i'm kinda scared of is that i'm going all out on this and i've got some good ideas....but what if the finished product isn't what i want. i always get good ideas but the finished product isn't what i had in my head. don't know. audj is going to get me a lamp at work today. i'm gonna take pictures of jesse and bubba and the girls. and then sometime this week i'm going to the strip and get pictures of people with piercings and cool tatts and all. is there something wrong with me?....naw....don't think that's it........i'm just not meeting the right people....i'm trying. i'm making an effort here. not waiting for the right person to find me. i'm looking. honestly......i think that texas plays a big part in that. i'm stuck here in po-dunk texas and it's not like there's an abundance of single, twenty-somthing lesbians swarming the place.....not that there will be in colorado......just....i don't know. i need a change. a concious change. the internet is great but it's not working. i'm talking but not a lot of meeting going on and the two people that i've met through the internet.....well, let's just say....no let's not say....let's totally ignore it all. yeah....that's the answer. well, i'm gonna do some re-arranging here on my site. gonna change some more things up. try some new stuff. see how it looks. yeah. gonna get some new pics up pretty soon....as soon as i can get my hads on a scanner. then you can do some more laughing...ha-ha. so i'll catch you later. hey, go right now and tell someone that you love them. they might need to hear it. PEACE |