| a little better day today. not much but a little. it's saturday night and i'm watching pax....good god. now that's depressing as hell. my only reliefe is that it's after 10 and i can go to bed soon. no one's on here and no one's writing except katie and she had to go. she asked if i wanted to come along with her to a friends pool. i didn't feel like going but right after she left....i was kinda regreting asking for a raincheck. i was actually wanting to go. it' s hot as hell out and i'm feeling kinda lonely and she's the one whe's been around these past few days talking to me. ok, so there wasn't anything i could do about that so i dyed my hair a light blue just to have a change. the difficalty lies in tomorrow. don't really know what i'm doing. i have absolutly no plans. don't want to go with audj to see her mom so i'm hoping i can make it there tomorrow afternoon or evening. kinda don't know what to say or anything to them cause of last night. it was rough as hell on me and i didn't want to envolve them but well, shit happens. i don't know where to go from here but i'll think of something. it's not like i'm just going to stop hanging with them...unless that's what they want. i never know and my head really bugs me sometimes. not even 10:30. this is starting to suck. don't know what the hell to do. april.....april....haven't heard from her all day. e-mailed her yesterday, well it was last night really, but i guess her computer is acting up or something. i hate that we haven't been talking like we were. i miss that connection. it was so easy with her to connect....only i guess i blew it in person. i just don't konw. i don't think i blew it. maybe i'm not her type. maybe she just wants time to think. she said that bad things come in thress and she's on her second.....i wonder what she's talking about. i hope she's ok. well, i guess that's it for now. gonna wait for a while and hope someone comes around. PEACE |