| i think it's the 3rd. not too sure. all the days kinda run together. so oh, well. it's almost 11:30. i'm gonna go to bed pretty soon cause i'm tired. i'm also kinda nervous about tomorrow night. not cause of her, more cause of me. i don't yet know how i'm gonna feel while hanging with her. i'm ok now. and even though she was flirting on the phone i knew that she was doing it so i didn't take it too seriously. she mentioned something about me being cute. yeah, right. gotta be playin me. i go hide in the bathroom usually but tonight the only free place was the closet. so i hid in the closet (ha ha). i just don' t want audj and mary see me grin and stuff when i talk to her. i get all embarrased and stuff. we've got all day tomorrow planned. i'll get over there around 10. then we'll go to her mom's then go get her bro and then to the dma. then take him home, then somewhere in there i want to get a tatt and then change clothes and then to the club. audj and i both have to work monday morning so i don't think we'll stay past 12 or so. good thing is that we're meeting them at the club so if i need to bail it would be easy. not that i want to...just if i need to. what the mess am i doing? i don't have a clue. part of me is excited, the other half telling me not to go cause she's just gonna break my heart again. oh man. in a way i think it would work...but then i remember that she is more like a bird....an eagle cause you can't keep an eagle. it needs to be free, not tied down. i guess that's the best way to describe it. but i'm gonna try. believe me, i'm gonna try. i'm gonna keep my eyes open and my heart as closed as possible. and try not to forget the past so that history won't repeat itself. and if it does, then it does and i didn't look to anyone this time so noone can really say "hey i told you so" except me. well, that's about it for now. i'll get back to you in a day or two. wish me luck. PEACE one more thing: i'm listening to an internet radio called the dial. on it is a section for women in rock. guess what song is on? lyrics on the lyrics page. dedicated to mary and audj. |