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| let me just start off with this pic. and i must say......DAMN |
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| 1:30 am ok. now that tha's out of the way.... good day today. yesterday sucked. and the day before sucked even worse. but today was a good day. i deserved that. saturday will suck but today was good. my teach didn't show for class cause he got fired or something but it ended up ok. i'm up writing now cause i can't sleep. i've got that thing again where i can't sleep . this has happened as |
| long as i can remember. i'll try to sleep but i don't feel comfortable. like i don't fit in my skin. i usally feel like that but sometimes it's so bad that the only comfortable position is the fetal position and the only place to comfortably do that is my bathroom. well, that isn't so bad anymore so i decided to write in here to pass the time till my pill that i took takes effect....but now my knee hurts. that's the second thing that happens. it's just kinda throbbing right now. hopefully i'll be sleeping before it really startes hurting. awhhhh. this is great. my pill has already started to take effect. i havn't taked one in so long and i couldn't find them for the longest time. but it's all good now. i used to take em when i was over at other people's houses on account of i can't sleep with other people. ok. came out wrong. i can sleep with other people i just can't sleep with them. i can't sleep if someone else is in the room. i'm just weird that way. don't know what i'm gonna do if i ever find a chick to hook up with. she'll find out all these little things about me and split. naw....she'll laugh and then split. so wonderful where i am right now. everything's kinda floatin aroung. i still don't feel good but eventually i'll be so sleepy that i'll fall asleep and it won't bug me. sleep.....yeah. if i start typin all weird, forgive me. not as fast as i used to be. talked to 'andy'. she's got plans for saturday but she said if something came up she'd call me. i told her 'yeah, i know that line. used it myself a time or two.' she said it wasn't that, that she really had plans and she would call me if somehting came up. and the thind is i believe. i told her that she is the perfedt distraction and that's exactly whta i need right now. some distraction.....oh, a bueatiful release, memorys seep from my vein, then leave me empty, oh, and weiightless and maybe, i'll find some peace tonight...... ok. wrong song(that rhymed). i didn't mean it in that way.....that song is my "i'm killing the 20 minutes my listening to this song" song. that referes to my 20 minute rule. when i'm following the 20 minute rule, i'll listen to that song to relax cause that 's what that son'g does to me. i can't help but relax. when i'm lying or sitting, my back and neck automatically relax. i don't tell them to i just do it....oooooh. flash bakc.... i used to go over to bethany's house and chill with her and her mom. her mom and i were tight. meg, the mom, was married to an ass hole and he'd be away alot on trips. on one of these trips i planned on staying for the night but i chickened out. any way, the three of us wher in meg's bed just chillin and that son'g came on. the sound system was hooked up into their room so the music was surrounding me. i just layed ther and felt like i was floating. kinda like now.... well, i'm almost out of it so i guess i'll go to bed. PEACE OUT |