| i'm tired. got a song in my head. hold up. |
| In my last years with him there were bruises on my face In my dawn and new day I finally got away But my head's all messed up and he knows just what to say No more dawn and new days I'm goin back to stay Why say bye bye When it only makes me cry I still Light up like a candle burnin when he call me up I still Melt down like a candle burnin everytime we touch Oh say what you will He does me wrong and I should be gone I still Be lovin you baby and it's much too much We are going down Cuz you're always getting high And your crumbs of lovin No longer get me by Wow! It gets better everytime that we get high Then you |
| I still Light up like a candle burnin when he calls me up I still Melt down like a candle burnin everytime we touch Oh say what you will He does me wrong and I should be gone I still Be lovin you baby and it's much too much Can't I go my severed way? Some rain for my sunny day Not even one reason to stay Why? I should've left you Why? I can't forgetcha baby Why? Ever since I metcha it's Why? I still Light up like a candle burnin when he calls me up I still Melt down like a candle burnin everytime we touch Oh say what you will He does me wrong and I should be gone I still Be lovin you baby and it's much too much |
| i'm glad i got that out of my system. i'm in class right now. i diddn't do my homework. there is only so much that one person can do. and it's even harder when that person doesn't give a rat's ass about what they're doing. that's the thing. i don't care. not about work, about school. i just don't care. and all these people expect so much from me and i want to say 'look, i'm just a little fuckin looser so quit expecting stuff from me. i'm tired of doing shit that no one else wants to do at work. i'm tired of doing pointless tasks for teachers who seem to think that they are the only class, the only teacher, and the only homework assignment that i've got. fuck it.' other than that, things are ok for now. it's kinda ( a weeeeee bit ) calmer that it was. i'm over her. don't care. i'm bailing on shrink for now, don't care. i'm almost to the point where i'll bail and not say anything. i can feel it coming. i can also feel that i'm on the verge of.....i'm walking that sanity line......that point where the monster comes. i can feel it. it's like i'm gonna snap at any moment. i've done pretty well the past couple of days cause i don't care. it's easier to not care than to try to fix things. i'm gonna try to stay like this for a while so things will stay calm. i gave the painting that i did to audj. the best one i've painted so far. hope she likes it. it's abstract and it's not really an object. it's a feeling. i think audj will get it. class is about to start up. i might get back. i might not. peace |
| i'm back. we're on break. we have to creat a page with forms on it for next week. kinda glad cause now i actually have something to do 'cept brouse the net. that gets old. so i only have about 20 minutes to talk befor i have to get back. so far everything's ok, but i always run into complications when i actually try the stuff in class. oh well. mary shaved my head yesterday. i needed it. when i get bummed i 'bare myself to the world'. this is kinda a way to do it. it's the shortest it's ever been. i love it. my parents didn't say anything about it and they chuckled about it at work but what do they care? i have teddy fuzzy bear hair and they don't. and trust me, it's DEFFINATLY teddy fuzzy bear hair. now i want to bleach it again. i have to register for next quarter sometime this week. damn. not looking forward to that. i don't think i'm gonna make it through the rest of this quarter much less start a new one. my schedule this quarter isn't that bad cause i only have two days where i go to school at 3 and one day when i go at 1 and the best day is thursday (can't stand the class. love the time) cause it's from 11:30 to 2:30. that means i'm back in town by 3. and if it's like tomorrow, that's good cause mary gets off at 5 or so and then we can all chill together. and i like that. tonight won't be that bad cause i can stay up a little longer cause i get to sleep in. i love sleeping in, even if it is an hour. next quarter will be good on fridays if they accept the way i want it. i work mornings on monday, tuesday, and thrusday and be at school by 3. i'll work all day on wednesdays and on fridays, i'll go to school from 8 am till 12 or so. then i'll get the rest of the day off. unfortunatly, i don't know for sure that i'm going to pass all my classes. oh, well. like i said before, i don't care. still got 15 minutes. kinda board. not really board, i just don't like taking breaks. i'd rather work through a break and get out early than sit and wait for everyone else to get back to work. i just don't like waiting for othyer people. that's it. i'm not very patient i guess. no one is on aim. it's my own fault for not finding others with aim. i only have four (maybe five) peole on aim and if i delete.....let's just say, there's no one to talk to. i'm always with audj so she's out. oh, well. hold up. gonna check my mail.....nada. didn't think so. oh well. i don't care. ok let's go people. 10 minutes left. come one. don't have all day. it's getting cold in here. it's cold outside. my toes are cold. ok. i'm guessing that's all cause i'm tired and ready to quit. PEACE |