| 9:56 rough day. ROUGH. i've been walkin this tightrope for a while and today, a few twines of that rope unwound a bit. now i'm ok now and that usually happens after i loose it. i almost imediatly feel better enough that have almost forgotten. only reason i'm talking about it now is cause this is only a precurser to the actual 'earth quake' that will inevadably hit. don't really want to go into all that cause i don't want to start anything, but i drank almost my whole mini-bottle of hot damn to numb myself and now it's worn off and i still feel ok. but i'm tired as hell. got to give my props to my girls. when i'm pissed off, i'm scared shitless that i'm gonna take it out on them. don't want to say something to them that i'm feeling when it has nothing to do with them. anyhow, they did well considering how childish i act. it really is childish. i won't talk. cause i can't. i'm scared to loose it infront of audj sometimes cause she's already been through this before and i would never do anything if i knew it would hurt her...so i kepy my mouth shut today...... damn, i didn't even ask her how her day was. i'm such a rotten friend sometimes. i really am. homes, if you're reading this (yeah, right.), peace, we're cool, sorry, i love you guys. i'm sorry. one love |