| i have to leave for school soon so i don't know how long this will be. well, mary's safe for now. the only thing we have to do is come up with one thousand dollars. she need three but her income tax check should take care of two of that. so i decided that i got to talk to dad about it. i hate it. i hate feeling in debt to him, like i owe him something. and if i go to him and i get emotionial and pissed i know what is gonna happen. but i have to try. it's the least i can do. if i doesn't work, i don't know, we'll be pretty stuck. i'm saving my pay checks and won't even cash them till it's closer to d-day. no i have to have some money. i know, we'll hide the money and keep putting money in it and not take any out till d-day. i helped her change her tire last night. audj didn't feel so hot so she stayed home. we did the best we could seeing as we didn't have all the right tools. we got the jack up and it still wasn't tall enough. trought out this hour long escapade, i came to realize that even if she has to go for a little while (god forbid), she'll still be with me. she'll still be in my heart and audj and i'll go see her and write all the time and stuff. and i'm used to caring about someone and not being able to hug them. the only thing is that we'll have to come up with another 'handshake' that doesn't involve touching. i don't know. audj said it would be ok when all this came about. and i talked to Na and she said it would be ok and i belive them. it will work out cause it has to. later |