| 1-12-00 12:51pm alright. another day, another dollar. i've got a headache. i took some pain killer, but youknow how that goes. didn't have to go to work this morning. good i guess but i've got a major project at work on monday. jessica and i have got this huge, massive sign to do. it's such a big project that we've got to wear old clothes cause it involves paint or something. don't have to go to school on monday cause it's martin luther king's birthday, but still. i don't want to work a full shift. don't know, i need the money....i slept a lot last night and this morning. i've been thinking a lot about shannon and all that mess. it's kinda like i finally found this inner peace about things, but it's different. it's like i know very few people like me, shannon was only the 4th or 5th, and i don't want to let her get away so to speak. i know that nothing would happen between us her heart is still with keys, but i miss that friendship that we had at the beginning. i miss chatting till 1am and leaving e-mails. i used to check my e-mail 4 times a day to see if she responded. it was great to talk to someone who kinda knew what it was like to be me. and now all that's gone and i knot know that i'll ever have that again. not just with her but with anyone. for two days, i didn't care what people thought, i didn't even care if my parents found out (to some degree). dude, i don't know. i'm kinda stuck here. i'm enjoying audj's wedding and all cause i can't wait to make her happy and it's getting my mind off things but...what am i gonna do? nothing. this is one of those 'wait it out' times. so that's what i'll do.....i added an equality page to my website. i want to do something to make some kind of difference in this world and right now i don't have the time or energy so this will have to do. getting out of texas will help. that's all for now. |