Author: A. Welshman
Rating: G
Fandom: BtVS/Angel
Category: Humor, pre-slash
Paring: S/X
Feedback: on list or at [email protected]
Archiving: list archives, Drewbear's Private Bookcase, & by request.
Notes: '' - thoughts
Summary: Sometimes it's the little things that just drive you crazy.
Author Notes: My family actually had the (mis)fortune to use this candle once, and we STILL remember it.
Spoilers: nothing in specific; set post seasons 7/4, and Spike is back, but otherwise not related to Angel S5 at all.
Disclaimer: As much as I wish these'uns were mine, they're not. They belong to their respective creators and productions companies. I'm just borrowing.
His parents had tended to forget his birthday, so Xander had always celebrated it by himself, or later, with Jesse and Willow. Jesse was years dead, though, and Willow was off in England with that coven, so Xander follows his birthday tradition alone this year.
After getting off work at the construction site ('My depth perception may be shot, but I still make a damn good foreman.'), Xander stops at the grocery store on his way home to pick up his supplies.
While he's fumbling with the keys to his suite in the Wolfram & Hart building, Xander hears his phone start ringing and gets the door open just in time to hear the answering machine pick up. He races over to the phone and grabs it, slightly out of breath.
"Ah, sorry 'bout that, I just got in."
"Xander?"
"Wills? Hey! How's England treating you? Has Giles rubbed a hole through his glasses yet?"
Laughing, Willow replies, "No, his glasses are still intact, and England is treating me fine. I was calling to wish you a happy birthday since I can't be there in person. So, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Didja get my present yet?"
Xander smiles and relaxes into the conversation with his oldest friend, and ends up spending close to an hour on the phone with her.
***
Xander smiles as he hangs up the phone. 'I miss having my Wills around, especially today, but I'm glad she's doing okay. Well, let's get this show on the road!'
Xander takes the chocolate cupcake out of its little plastic box and sticks the single candle in it. He lights the candle, and is surprised when it starts playing a tinny but loud version of the "Happy Birthday Song". Shrugging, Xander thinks, 'Huh. I didn't realize I'd grabbed one of those. Kinda cute, if a little annoying."
He sings the song, accompanied by the candle, then closed his eye, makes a wish 'I wish this year is uneventful, boring, and dull,' and blows out the candle.
Which continues to play. Loudly.
Xander stares at the candle for a second, then pulls it out so he can eat his cupcake. When he's done, the candle is *still* playing, and now it's starting to get on Xander's nerves. He takes it into the kitchenette and runs it under the faucet, thinking 'Maybe the wick is still lit and keeping the music-thingy running.' No such luck.
After being pulled out of the water, the candle now sounds kinda warble-y, but it's still playing. And it's getting *really* annoying. Now staring intently at the candle, Xander thinks, 'Maybe it's run by heat; maybe freezing it will work!'
He opens the freezer of the half-size fridge and puts the candle in the back, right behind the ice trays. Satisfied that the candle will cool down now and leave him in peace, Xander goes back over to the table, cleans up the cupcake wrapper and crumbs, and throws away the litter before pulling out copies of the site blueprints. About half the wood in the last shipment from the supplier wasn't up to specs, and he needs to figure out how much time that'll add onto the project.
About ten minutes later, Xander realizes that he's hearing something just on the edge of hearing. 'No... It *can't* be!'
He slowly walks over to the freezer, and yes! It is! The damn candle is still playing!
Xander yanks open the freezer door and pulls out the candle, which is now playing at about half speed and an octave lower than it was originally.
"Okay. There's NO WAY I'm keeping this thing around. It's already driving me nuts!" mutters Xander as he throws the ice-caked candle into the trash, ties closed the bag, and puts the bag outside the suite door for housekeeping to pick up later.
He listens carefully for a minute, but can't hear the candle through the door. Heaving a small sigh of relief, Xander returns to the table and his work.
Twenty minutes later, Xander is interrupted by a pounding on his door. When he opens it, he finds Spike leaning against the doorframe and pointing at the bag of trash.
"Oi, Harris! Why's yer rubbish playing a dirge?"
Waving Spike in, Xander closes the door and begins to explain. Halfway through the explanation, Spike starts laughing. By the end, he's rolling on the floor, belly-laughing harder than he has since Xander has known him. Then, with a smile upon his lips and tears in his eyes, Spike pulls himself up and kisses Xander lightly.
"Happy birthday, Xander."
Maybe he can keep the candle for a little longer after all... Nah!
