"YOUR OWN PERSONAL JESUS"
If only people could relax and laugh at religion, maybe we wouldn't have so many crazies out there trying to kill us because we're "The Great Satan" or some bullshit like that. I think all of the world's major religions have various oddities that any critical person can say "there's something just not quite right about that." Don't get me wrong; religion is a serious issue (the fate of one's immortal soul is important, presuming we have immortal souls). But, perhaps if people around the world were as light-hearted as the good people of The Brick Testament, maybe we wouldn't have as much religious intolerance around the world as we do.
Judaism -- According to the Book of Leviticus, I'm supposed to kill all homosexuals, destroy my house if it ever gets mildew in it, and sacrifice two turtledoves whenever a child is born to me. Also, anything a woman touches during that time of the month is impure, and anyone touching anything touched by such a woman becomes impure, and anyone and/or anything that touches that person/thing who touched the thing that was touched by that woman becomes impure, and all such impure people/objects shall remain impure until they bathe in the River Jordan. So, I guess that means that everyone/everything living outside of the Middle East, however virtuous, is impure?
Christianity -- When someone tries to punch me, not only should I offer no resistance, but should also offer my other cheek for punching? Okay. I guess that explains why all the early Christians were easily slaughtered by the Romans. But then again, the whole "love thy neighbor" bit and "do unto others as thou wouldst have them do unto thee" philosophies are very nice and are truly holy messages. Interesting how, from that, we've gotten the Crusades, the Inquisition, and a Church that turned a blind eye to slavery, Nazis, and priests that rape kids.
Islam -- According to the Qu'ran, any martyr who dies in the name of Allah goes to the highest level of heaven and is rewarded with 72 virgin brides and honeyed figs for eternity. Of all the world's religions, that has to be the best sales pitch ever! If I ever create a religion, and want to attract straight males and lesbians to fight in a holy army, I'll proclaim that each of my martyrs will be rewarded with this year's Playboy "Miss July" centerfold and an infinite amount of powdered donuts.
Buddhism -- So, the entire point of Being is to realize that non-Being is better? Yeah... that makes sense.
Shintoism -- "That tree over there is holy. That rock over there is holy. All of nature deserves respect and reverence... What's that? There's a sale on endagered whale meat at Nakatoma's market? Yummy!"
Confuscianism -- Not really a religion. More like a fascist's version of ettiquette. Just like Martha Stewart!
Hinduism -- I'm not going to poke fun at Hinduism. I don't make jokes about elephant dieties.
CAVEAT: I should point out that I am spiritual, and that I pray everyday. I just think people need to lighten up and stop killing each other over differences in faith. After all, if your religion is the true one, won't the infidels eventually burn in hell in the afterlife? There's no need to ruin life on this planet, too.