"FORGET THE GAME"
I was coming home from the gym Wednesday, when I had to struggle to get on an ordinarily-vacant Green Line train. Cramped in the subway car like a Japanese businessman, I decided to be my usual engaging self and start up a conversation with a stranger. "Let me guess: it's orientation week at B.U., isn't it?" I asked the cute girl pressing against my left side. I was expecting a sarcastic Bostonian reply like, "How'd ya guess?". Instead, she very politely responded with a Southern accent: "It is. Sorry. I guess we don't know how to ride the subway up here."
Had it not been for the accent, I still would have known she wasn't from around here because she said "subway" and not "T".
We chatted for a little bit. Her name was Jennifer -- but I could call her 'Jen' -- and this upcoming semester was going to be her first time really away from home and she was so excited to be in Boston, etc. As my stop approached, I borrowed a line from Click & Clack and said, "Well, welcome to our fair city." The rather unattractive girl next to her (presumably her friend who had said nothing until this point) chimed in "maybe you can show her around the city sometime." Jennifer gave her the look that teenagers give to each other when they want to say "shut up" without saying "shut up." She then turned bright red. I instantly replied, "I'm sorry, but I'm spoken for." "Of course," Jennifer told her uncute friend, "he's spoken for." I continued to walk off the train, paused, and said "At least, I think I am. I'm honestly not sure." I shrugged my shoulders and walked off.
I cannot say that I am spoken for, because to the best of my knowledge, I'm not in an exclusive relationship. Still, I'm not going to date anyone else while I test my compatibility with Lisa. I know that this goes against the rules of the game, but I do not care. A friend of mine (whose name I will not mention for his protection -- I bet half of you are trying to figure out who it is) once said that a man should always have "backup" for the first five dates with someone. I think that's fucking bullshit. And here's why:
Let's suppose that Lisa is dating several guys now, and I'm just one of her suitors. In the best care scenario, I prove that I'm a much better catch than the other guys (*rubs knuckles against chest and says* "Which shouldn't be too difficult, whoever they are." ;). In the worst case scenario, she and I date for a little bit, we discover that we're not compatible, and I resume a series of first dates with attractive women that have at least one vice I don't like (stupidity, chain-smoking, outright bitchiness, likes to club baby seals, etc.) until I finally find someone who piques my interest enough for a second date. And remember, if I'm in that situation again, it's just more entertaining misadventures for this webpage until I find someone special.
Now let's contemplate a scenario where Lisa is only dating me, but I'm juggling several women. The best case scenario would be for Lisa to calmly say that she wants to be exclusive, and I agree. The worst case scenario would be that she finds out about the others, gets jealous, and in a twisted fit of rage, ends up killing me with a series of desert spoons shoved through my eyesockets into my cranium.
Considering that both "best case" scenarios have a similar end, whereas the latter "worst case" scenario concludes with my inevitable and torturous death, I'll choose the former.
Obviously, I'm not too serious about these justifications. I don't think that Lisa is a homicidal maniac, and even if she is, I think I can take her (unless she gets me while I sleep! Oh no! Now I'm going to become a paranoid insomniac). But in all earnest, I can see why people play the game, yet I think doing so is really lame (rhyme accidental and not intended, I swear!). If you're in need of having several simultaneous girlfriends to stroke your ego (or possibly something else), that's your choice, but it's not for me. Not the type of man I am. Despite what people may say about not caring about things like that, in the end, someone's ego always ends up needlessly crushed, and that's irresponsible. Forget the game! And like I said, what's the worst thing that can happen if I just don't date anyone else in the meantime? The absolute worst possible end is that I end up right where I started -- single, picky, and looking for someone incredible. That's much better than death.
I know of at least one woman who didn't play the game. Years ago, she only had eyes for one man who was another friend of mine. She never played the game to get his attention, presumably because she thought it was dishonest and hurtful to the multiple people that would have been involved. She knew if something was meant to be, duplicity wasn't necessary, and things would work out for the best in the end.
Tomorrow, she marries that very same man.
Congratulations, Val & Jim!
This post is dedicated to the soon-to-be Mrs. Valerie Lubben Goodrich. :)
