Please feel free to disseminate to the four corners of the world:

To the Administrators and Moderators of the TrekBBS:

To the Knights of the Most Noble Troll Kingdom:

To my fellow Exiled (see above) and to the World at Large:

I am Red Quacker.

I'm writing to you on May the fif...May the...Huh. May the sixth. It's only been one week.

I need to talk about this. I need to justify what's happened--what I've done. At least to myself. I can't talk to anyone else, not even to phoenixfire. ...Maybe if I just lay it all out in this e-mail...it'll finally make sense. I can see where it all went wrong--where I went wrong.

I suppose it all started one week ago when I was posting my casualty list. Every fourth Friday morning for the past fourteen months I've posted the official list of all the aliases banned, lost, or deleted on the TrekBBS. It's become something of a grim ritual around here, and not a month goes by that I don't have to post another alias on that damned list. I've grown to hate Fridays...

* * *

Red Quacker: "Who is it, phoenixfire?"

phoenixfire: (sigh) "Big Matty."

Red Quacker: "The spammer of the Miscellaneous forum?"

phoenixfire: "He was even more annoying than I was."

Trident: "Does anyone know what happened to Big Matty?"

Red Quacker: "Just that he disappeared while spamming."

phoenixfire: "Don't bother. I'm sure it's the same old story. 'Lisa went over the Questions Suggestions and Feedback forum and caught him by surprise.' It's only about the hundredth time it's happened."

Trident: "I can't believe the administrators allow her to violate their forums so brazenly. Why do they get away with it?"

Red Quacker: "The administrators have a tacit agreement of friendship and neutrality with Christian/Lisa. So they're willing to turn a blind eye to almost anything in the name of censorship.

Trident: "What we need to do is bring the administrators into the war on our side. With the combined forces of the Clones, the Troll Kingdom, and the Disgruntled Former Administrators, we can finally go on the offensive."

phoenixfire: "That's the last thing the administrators want! Think about it. They're in the perfect position. They get to sit back and watch as their two biggest rivals slug it out in a long, bloody war. No one's threatening their interests. Why should they risk their necks? There's simply no reason for them to get involved in our war. No reason at all."

* * *

That was the moment I made the decision. It was like I had stepped through a door, and locked it behind me. I was going to bring the administrators into the war.

/ / / / / / / / / /

Red Quacker: "It's in the administrators' best interest to join the war. That's the key; that's what will get them to finally take action. Not to do us any favors, but to protect themselves from Christian/Lisa."

phoenixfire: "Okay. Let's say I'm Barcode. From where I'm sitting, Christian/Lisa aren't a threat to me. I have an agreement with them; they are my allies."

Red Quacker: "You're not going to put your faith in Lisa, are you?"

phoenixfire: "Not at all. I've been watching them very closely since the beginning of the war, and so far, they've kept their part of the bargain."

Red Quacker: "They're violating your forums almost every single day! What kind of an ally is that?"

phoenixfire: "So they're crossing my backyard to give the trolls a bloody nose. I can't say that makes me feel very sad."

Red Quacker: "You can't be naive enough to think that Lisa is going to stop with the trolls. When they're finished with us, they're coming after you!"

phoenixfire: "That's speculation."

Red Quacker: "Christian/Lisa see it was their sacred duty to bring order to the BBS! Their order. Do you think they'll be willing to stand idly by while you keep your chaotic posts next to their perfect order? No! If you watch us go under, what you're really doing is signing your own death warrant!"

phoenixfire: "But before I plunge myself into a conflict, that will potentially ban several of my loyal friends, I need something more concrete than the self-serving argument of a troll. I need proof of Christian duplicity. Not more words--proof."

Red Quacker: "LOL. Very good, old friend. You would've made a decent administrator!"

phoenixfire: "I prefer the complaints to the cold-hearted ruthlessness."

Red Quacker: "Okay, you've convinced me. They're going to need evidence. But if there is evidence of a Lisa plan to attack the former administrators, it's probably buried deep in the bowels of the Briefing Room."

phoenixfire: "Not exactly the most accessible place on the BBS."

Red Quacker: "Not for us, maybe...But there is someone on this ban list who specializes in gaining access to places he is not wanted."

* * *

MasterMind: "I must say, I'm flattered, Quacker! I had no idea you held such a lofty opinion of me. Your faith in my ability to retrieve classified information from the Briefing Room is most gratifying--"

Red Quacker: "MasterMind, let's dispense with the usual repartee and concentrate on the issue at hand. Can you do it or not?"

MasterMind: "No one wants to see Christian and Lisa destroyed more than I do. But to go to the Briefing Room, penetrate the most heavily guarded forum on the BBS, steal top secret BR threads and then return them safely to you...is not just any job. It's more like a suicide mission. And that is well outside my field of expertise..."

Red Quacker: "I didn't say you had to go in yourself. I have to believe that a troll like you still has a few contacts on the BBS. A colleague from the Troll Kingdom? An old friend? A reliable informant? Someone who might owe you a favor?"

MasterMind: "Perhaps."

Red Quacker: "Then I'd say it's time to call in a favor."

MasterMind: "It would mean calling in ALL my favors, Quacker. To do what you're asking would mean to use up every resource I have left on the TrekBBS. And it may be a very messy, very bloody business. Are you prepared for that?"

Red Quacker: "I posted my fourteenth ban list this morning. I'm already involved in a very messy, very bloody business. And the only way I can see to end it is to bring the administrators into the war. I am prepared to do whatever it takes to accomplish that goal...but I can't do it alone. I need help. Now...are you in or out?"

MasterMind: "...I'm in."

* * *

My father used to say that the road to hell is paved with good intentions. I laid the first stone right there. I'd committed myself. I'd pay any price. Go to any lengths. Because my cause was righteous! My...intentions were good. In the beginning, that seemed like enough.

/ / / / / / / / / /

If there's one thing I've learned over the years, it's that bad news invariably comes in the middle of the night.

* * *

Mandy: "Mandy to Red Quacker."

Red Quacker: "Go ahead, Mandy."

Mandy: "We just received a priority one communication from the Troll Kingdom...Lisa has banned Starfish."

* * *

Red Quacker: "According to initial reports, the banning must have occurred from somewhere in the Commodores' Lounge."

phoenixfire: "Did Troll Kingdom know anything about the suspicions?"

Talons: "No. They believed the Commodores' Lounge was too far from the Questions Suggestions and Feedback forum to be a threat."

Red Quacker: "There's plenty of blame to go around. Huntingdon was supposed to be protecting Starfish and his spam threads, but he was caught out of position stuck in the Fleet Captains' Lounge. What's worse, Starfish's own common sense is obsolete and underwhelming. The alternate was banned in less than ten minutes."

Mandy: "With Starfish in the clutches of Christian/Lisa, they're in the position to threaten BobbyT10, Captain Decker...Parallaxis..."

phoenixfire: "If we ever needed a new ally--it's right now."

* * *

Red Quacker: "MasterMind, it's been three days, have you made any progress?"

MasterMind: "Well, I suppose that depends on how you look at it."

Red Quacker: "This is how I look at it: Starfish has just fallen to Christian/Lisa. We need to get this operation underway."

MasterMind: "I share your desire for swift action, Quacker. In fact, after our last conversation, I made a few discreet inquiries to some of my former associates still posting at TrekBBS. As I anticipated, they shared my loathing for the current government, and were willing to take on any assignment aimed at its destruction."

Red Quacker: "That sounds like progress to me."

MasterMind: "Doesn't it? Unfortunately, they're all banned now."

Red Quacker: "What?"

MasterMind: "Yes. All banned within one day of speaking with me. I suppose that's a testament to the effectiveness of Spidey Sense. One should admire such efficiency."

Red Quacker: "...I'm sorry."

MasterMind: "I hope you're not giving up that easily. After all, the stakes are much higher than the bans of a few alternates. The fate of the entire BBS hangs in the balance. Or at least, that's the case you made to me."

Red Quacker: "Do you have another plan?"

MasterMind: "As a matter of fact, I do. But I suspect you won't like it."

Red Quacker: "Try me."

MasterMind: "If you want to guarantee that we gain evidence of a Lisa plot to attack the administration, I suggest that we manufacture that evidence ourselves."

* * *

Maybe I should have put a stop to it right there. Maybe I should have said, "thank you very much for your input, MasterMind, I will take your suggestion under advisement" and gone back to my computer and forgotten the whole thing but I didn't! Because in my heart, I knew what he was saying made sense.

* * *

MasterMind: "Her name is Barcode. She's been a key member of the TrekBBS Mod Staff for the past several months. She's been moderator of the Miscellaneous forum, friend of Christian/Lisa, and one of the most trusted personalities of all the other members."

Red Quacker: "She's also associated with the non-aggression pact with Christian/Lisa."

MasterMind: "Since you're familiar with her, I'll skip the rest of her biography. What's important is that she continues to be one of the most adamant anti-troll voices in the administration. If we can convince her that Christian/Lisa is a threat, the rest of the mod staff will follow."

Red Quacker: "All right, how?"

MasterMind: "A few days from now, Barcode will be making a trip to Questions Suggestions and Feedback for a diplomatic meeting with Lisa. I am certain that she can be persuaded to make a secret detour to Troll Kingdom if she were invited by one Red Quacker."

Red Quacker: "How do you know that Barcode is going to the QSF forum?"

MasterMind: "There are some things I'd rather not discuss. May I continue?"

Red Quacker: "Please."

MasterMind: "When Barcode arrives, you will show her a Briefing Room thread of a secret meeting held at the highest levels of the administration in which the planned permabanning of LizardLaugh is being discussed. You will tell Barcode that this information was obtained through various covert means at great cost to Troll Kingdom. At least ten good alternates were banned bringing it across the line, that sort of thing. She will immediately suspect it's a forgery, but you will assure her that such a thing would be impossible, you see, Barcode, this is an official moderator account! These posts were made with the GeckoBoy account, used for official communications. These threads are only manufactured as needed by GeckoBoy, posts can only be made with it once, and then cannot be edited."

Red Quacker: "She'll want to examine it."

MasterMind: "Of course. And she will discover to her amazement that it is completely genuine. At least, so it will appear."

Red Quacker: "But in reality?"

MasterMind: "You will have sent her messages with a genuine moderator account, but they will contain one of the most perfect forgeries ever fashioned. I'm still working on obtaining the moderator account, but I have found the man who will create the Briefing Room thread."

Red Quacker: "You realize I can't authorize a thing like this on my own; I have to clear it with Troll Kingdom."

MasterMind: "Of course. But I suspect that with the fall of Starfish, they'll be willing to do whatever it takes to bring the administrators into the war."

Red Quacker: "...I'll let you know."

MasterMind: "One last thing, Quacker. The man we need to forge this Briefing Room thread is currently sitting on the Permanent Ban list awaiting deletion. To save time, and, incidentally, his account, I thought perhaps you could arrange a pardon?"

Red Quacker: "...What's his name?"

MasterMind: "The Line."

* * *

The Line: "I cannot tell you how grateful I am, Quacker. The administrators were going to delete my account tomorrow! Of course, they say that every day, it's one of the little games they like to play. LOL."

Red Quacker: "You do understand the terms of your parole?"

The Line: "Oh, yes. I have to promise to stay away from the TrekBBS. LOL. That'll be tough. LOL! And I have to create some kind of a special thread for you. Heh. Well I can hardly wait. I've never worked for Troll Kingdom before."

Red Quacker: "Let's be very clear about this. You're not working for Troll Kingdom. This entire matter is off the record. As far as you're concerned, you're working for me."

The Line: "Oh. A personal matter. LOL. Something special, for your eyes only? LOL. Something with, perhaps, five or six TerranBBS avatars--"

Red Quacker: "Mr. Line! I suggest you go and wait by your computer. MasterMind will provide you with all of the information you need."

The Line: "MasterMind? Is here?"

Red Quacker: "That's right."

The Line: "Oh. Oh. Well. That's different. I'll wait by my computer."

* * *

Why I didn't listen to the voice in the back of my mind telling me not to believe a word he said, I'll never know. But it didn't take long for me to come face to face with the fact that I'd made a mistake.

* * *

Trek_Angel: "Trek_Angel to the Quacker."

Red Quacker: "Go ahead, TA."

Trek_Angel: "I'm sorry to disturb you, but do you know a poster named The Line?"

Red Quacker: "Yes, why do you ask?"

Trek_Angel: "Only because he just tried to kill YOSHI."

* * *

Trident: "Sit still, YOSHI, you'll be fine."

Red Quacker: "What happened?"

Trek_Angel: "As I understand it, Mr. Line over there came in about two hours ago with a bottle of Coors Light. A few minutes later, he ordered a second bottle, and a third, halfway through his fourth bottle, he decided to dance with Hope over there, she was otherwise engaged running a sex thread, declined his invitation, he decided to force the issue, a brief struggle ensued, and YOSHI, in an uncharacteristic display of chivalry, attempted to intervene. So, The Line flamed him. Normally he'd be sitting in the corner of the room, but he claims he's a friend of yours."

Red Quacker: "He's no friend of mine. But he is working for me. It's an extremely sensitive matter concerning Troll Kingdom security. I can't have any record of him being present."

Trek_Angel: "I see. I am certainly aware of the need for special security measures during wartime, but as a matter of law, if YOSHI chooses to press charges against The Line, I have no choice but to make an arrest."

Red Quacker: "May I speak to YOSHI?"

Red Quacker: "...How is he?"

YOSHI: "how do i olok???? just in teh brush with death &"

Trident: "He'll be fine. His spam deflected the flame from his feelings. The offense was superficial."

YOSHI: "superfishal u do not know"

Red Quacker: "Will you excuse us for a moment, Trident?"

Trident: "I'll check on him tomorrow."

Red Quacker: "Do you intend to press charges?"

YOSHI: "u bet i am pressing"

Red Quacker: "What will it take, uh...To convince you otherwise?"

YOSHI: "what is teh bribeing?"

Red Quacker: "..."

YOSHI: "i knew teh whole time u"

Red Quacker: "What's your price?"

YOSHI: "listen to teh dream i had that was nightmarish. i was in teh green field in peace & it was quiet. & i said i was happy b/c i was quiet. then teh maelstrom form in teh waters of teh blue & great clamity teh sphereeers & teh powers are posesssing good men & i was so sad in teh ARMGEDDERON!!!"

* * *

That was my first moment of real doubt. When I first started to wonder if this whole thing was a mistake. So then I went back to my computer. And there...was a new ban list waiting for me....Trolls are being BANNED out there! Everyday! Entire forums are struggling for their freedom and here I am still worrying about the finer points of morality! NO, I...I had to keep my eye on the ball! Win the war! Stopping the bans! Those were the priorities!

So I pushed on. Every time another doubt appeared before me, I just found another way to shove it aside.

* * *

MasterMind: "Mind if I join you?"

Red Quacker: "Be my guest."

MasterMind: "...You seem angry."

Red Quacker: "Who's watching The Line?"

MasterMind: "I've locked him out of his computer. I've also given him the impression that if he attempts to log on, it will explode."

Red Quacker: "I hope that's just an impression."

MasterMind: "It's best not to dwell on such minutia. In any case, we have far more important matters to discuss. I've located a poster willing to give us a genuine Moderator Account."

Red Quacker: "How do you know it's genuine?"

MasterMind: "I trust the source. Nevertheless, I will verify the account's authenticity before I make payment. ...Which brings me to you."

Red Quacker: "How much does he want?"

MasterMind: "I'm afraid he's not interested in money. The gentlemen in question has requested access to...two hundred alternate accounts."

Red Quacker: "WHAT?"

MasterMind: "I don't know why exactly, one would assume it has something to do with spam attacks."

Red Quacker: "Offer him something else."

MasterMind: "Believe me, I wouldn't be relaying this request if I thought he'd take something else."

Red Quacker: "Alternate accounts are strictly regulated by Troll Kingdom and are not available at any price. Find someone else who's willing to give us a Moderator Account."

MasterMind: "I wasn't exaggerating when I told you about the near impossibility of acquiring a Moderator Account. It's something of a minor miracle that I was able to locate this one source. I'm virtually certain I won't find another. I'm afraid we must give him what he wants...or forget the whole enterprise."

Red Quacker: "Then let's forget out it. ...Two hundred accounts is out of the question. There's not that many in the entire Troll Kingdom."

MasterMind: "I believe the quantity is open to negotiation."

* * *

Trident: "Quacker, alternate accounts are extremely dangerous. As you know, I can't release it without at least some idea what they're going to be used for. In the wrong hands, they could be used to make porn spam attacks, flooding, or--"

Red Quacker: "Maybe I didn't make myself clear, Trident. This is not a request, it's an order. You will transfer 85 alternate accounts and deliver them to the e-mail account I specified, is that understood?"

Trident: "Yes. I'd like this order in writing, please, sir?"

Red Quacker: "I thought you might."

Trident: "You should know that I shall note this in my log, and file an official protest with Troll Kingdom Operations."

Red Quacker: "That is your right, but I want the accounts by the end of the day. Dismissed."

* * *

Lisa: "I have decided to implement stage two ahead of schedule."

Christian: "Banning of LizardLaugh? It's too soon. We're engaged with heavy fighting along the border with the Troll Kingdom, the clones are preparing to go on the offensive--"

Lisa: "Apparently I have better vision than you do, I can see the opportunities even when you cannot. Consider. The administrators don't expect an attack from us. Most of them are still deployed along the Miscellaneous forum and the QSF forum. I estimate that we could run this place ourselves in less than three weeks."

Christian: "Three weeks? I heard the same kind of estimates before we attacked the Troll Kingdom."

Lisa: "Those plans were ruined by the incompetence of my predecessor."

Christian: "The Lone Ensign is a great man."

Lisa: "The Lone Ensign is a preening egotistical fool. You offered him unchallenged control of the BBS and all he could think about were the trolls. ...Now, now...Shall we get back to the business at hand?"

MasterMind: "That's it, close thread. ...That's all the new material. The rest of the thread reads exactly as you saw before. What do you think?"

Red Quacker: "It's...better. They seem more real."

MasterMind: "And all I had to do was add a little petty bickering and mutual loathing."

The Line: "So, you are happy?"

Red Quacker: "It's--satisfactory."

MasterMind: "You may transfer it into the GeckoBoy account now."

Red Quacker: "I received a message. Barcode is on the way."

MasterMind: "Excellent."

The Line: "Done! Who gets it?"

MasterMind: "Just...put it in GeckoBoy's account."

The Line: "Well! It has been a pleasure doing business with you gentlemen. Call me again if you ever--"

Red Quacker: "You're not going anywhere."

The Line: "What do you mean?"

Red Quacker: "I mean you're not leaving until your work is accepted by our client."

The Line: "That isn't fair! You can't keep me here against my will, I haven't done anything wrong! Weeeee had an agreement!"

Red Quacker: "I'm making a new agreement! If that BR thread passes inspection, you walk out of here. If there is even the slightest flaw, then I will take you back to the Troll Kingdom and tell Red Whacker to take his time while he executes you!"

The Line: "All right! It will pass! You'll see! It will pass!"

MasterMind: "I sincerely hope so. Now why don't you go back to your computer? I'll be along shortly to say hello."

* * *

Maybe I was under more pressure than I realized. Maybe it was really starting to get to me. But, I was off the hook, Troll Kingdom had given the plan their blessing. And I thought that would make things easier. But I was the one who had to make it happen. I was the one who had to send Barcode an e-mail and convince her that a lie was the truth.

* * *

MasterMind: "So, while you're entertaining Barcode in the #trollkingdom room, I'll make a quick search of her IP address..."

Red Quacker: "What for?"

MasterMind: "Oh, for any intelligence information she may have picked up on the administrators on TrekBBS."

Red Quacker: "What if you get caught?"

MasterMind: "Oh, I think that's highly unlikely. I doubt Barcode will be traveling with more than four suck-ups at the most. I assure you, they will never know I was even near Barcode."

Red Quacker: "Just make sure you don't get caught."

* * *

Red Quacker: "Report."

Talons: "The channels have been secured. I have posted alternates on every forum, and I have personally scanned your e-mail account for any signs of tracking."

Red Quacker: "Very good, Talons. Maintain current security measures until further notice. No one is to access this account except MasterMind and myself."

Talons: "Aye, sir."

MasterMind: "Always a pleasure to see you, Mr. Talons."

Talons: "Grrr..."

* * *

Mandy: "Mandy to Red Quacker."

Red Quacker: "Go ahead, Mandy."

Mandy: "We've just received word that Barcode has arrived."

Red Quacker: "Thank you."

MasterMind: "I'll take my leave of you, Quacker. Just one last thing. Barcode believes she's on the winning side, so until you can prove otherwise, you may have to put up with a certain acerbic attitude."

Red Quacker: "MasterMind, after having spent a week with you, I have developed a very, very thick skin."

MasterMind: "Good luck."

* * *

Red Quacker: "Greetings, Barcode. I'm Red Quacker."

Barcode: "So...You're the legendary troll. And the self-styled prophet, spammer, troll advocate, whiner, and...oh yes! The troll who started the war with Christian. ...Somehow I thought you'd be wittier."

Red Quacker: "Sorry to disappoint you."

Barcode: "To be honest, my opinion of trolls is so low, you'd have to work very hard indeed to disappoint me."

Red Quacker: "If you'll come with me, I'll show you to the chat room."

Barcode: "I look forward to looking through your message board, as long as it's still here that is. The way your war is going with Christian, it may not be here much longer."

* * *

Barcode: "You are persistent, Quacker, I'll grant you that. But dogged determination is not enough to change the way I look at the situation. Time is definitely not on your side. Permabans are operating at 100% capacity, while your accounts are still being registered. TrekBBS is breeding legions of loyal followers every day, while you're experiencing a trollpower shortage. But most important, Christian is resolved to win the war at any cost. You and I both know the Troll Kingdom has already put out peace feelers. Now, in all candor, if you were in my position, which side would you choose?"

Red Quacker: "I'd pick the side most likely to leave us in peace when the dust settles. Maybe you're right. Maybe Christian will win, and he will control what we now call the TrekBBS, the Troll Kingdom, and my personal guard. So, instead of facing three different opponents with three separate agendas, you'll be facing the same opponent on every side. There's a word for that: surrounded."

Barcode: "You make some very good points, Quacker. But it's still all speculation and theory. Nothing that would warrant giving up my treaty and plunging us all into war."

Red Quacker: "What if I told you that Lisa is planning a sneak attack on the former administrators at this very moment?"

Barcode: "I'd want proof."

* * *

Lisa: "And with myself protecting my own flank, I would begin my thrust against all of the mod staff and former mods..."

Barcode: "I'd like to examine this Briefing Room thread and its transmission from the GeckoBoy account."

* * *

So all I could do was wait and see how masterful The Line's forgery really was. ...So I waited. Tried to catch up on my paperwork. But I found it very difficult to focus on new account profiles. So I went back to pacing...staring out of the window. I'm not an impatient man. I'm not one to agonize decisions after they're made. I got that from missmanners. She always says, "Worry and doubt are the greatest enemies of a great chef. The cookies will either bake, or they won't. There's not a gosh darn thing you can do about it, so you might as well sit back and wait...and see what happens."

But this time, the cost of failure was so high. I found it difficult to take her advice. If Barcode realized that the Briefing Room thread was a forgery, if she realized that we were trying to trick her into the war, it would push the former administrators even farther into the enemy camp. They could start to openly help Christian/Lisa. If worse came to worst, they could actually join the war against us. I decided that victory or defeat would be decided in the next few minutes.

* * *

Barcode: "IT'S A FAAAAAAAAAAAKE!"

* * *

So, it all blew up in my face. All the lies and compromises, the inner doubts and rationalizations all for nothing. Barcode was furious! I can't say I blamed her. I'd have reacted the same way. After telling me in no uncertain terms that she would expose this vile deception to the entire TrekBBS, she got back out of the chat room and headed home. There didn't seem to be anything more to do. So I went back to work. Two days later, I got the news.

* * *

Trident: "No banned alternates for me today."

phoenixfire: "I had one. Well, one with zero posts. I barely remembered registering it."

Trident: "Well, between the two of us I'd say we're off to a pretty good start today."

Talons: "Quacker, we just received word from Troll Kingdom Operations that a high-ranking former administrator has been permanently banned."

Red Quacker: "Which former administrator?"

Talons: "Barcode. She was posting on the TrekBBS after GeckoBoy and Lord Garth both went on spamming rampages. Christian and Lisa were investigating and preliminary reports show they believed Barcode was the culprit for at least one of these attacks."

phoenixfire: "Christian and Lisa permabanned a former administrator."

Talons: "That changes everything. It could even bring the administrators and mod staffers into the war."

Red Quacker: "...Excuse me."

* * *

Red Quacker: "MASTERMIND! DAMN YOU, LOG ON! You framed her!"

MasterMind: "That's right."

Red Quacker: "That's what you planned to do all along, isn't it? You knew the Briefing Room thread and GeckoBoy e-mail wouldn't hold up to scrutiny, you just wanted to gain Barcode's attention so you could get the information necessary to frame her for hacking!"

MasterMind: "It wasn't quite that simple! I did have hopes that the BR thread would somehow pass inspection, but I suspected that The Line may not have been up to the task."

Red Quacker: "And what about The Line? Did you get rid of him, too?"

MasterMind: "Think of them both as tragic victims of war."

Red Quacker: "ARGGGGGGGH!"

MasterMind: "--If you could allow your anger to subside for a moment, you will see that they were not banned in vain! The administrators will enter the war!"

Red Quacker: "There's no guarantee of that!"

MasterMind: "Oh, but I think that there is! You see, when the administrators finish examining the wreckage of the recent chaos, they'll find the remnants of a rumor that Christian is planning further permabans of people who disagree with him."

Red Quacker: "And then they'll discover that it's a fraud."

MasterMind: "Oh, I don't think they will! Because any imperfections in the rumor will appear to be a result of the BR leaking and hacking scandals. So--with a hacking on the one hand, and a permanently banned former administrator in the other, I ask you, Quacker, what conclusion would you draw?"

Red Quacker: "That Barcode was planning to expose Christian and Lisa for their plans, but she was permabanned so any complaints she had were a result of hurt feelings."

MasterMind: "Precisely! And the more Lisa protests her innocence, the more that the administrators will believe that she's guilty, because it's exactly what they would have done in her place. ...That's why you came to me. Isn't it, Quacker? Because you knew that I could do those things that you weren't capable of doing. Well, it worked! And you'll get what you want--a war between the mod staff and Christian/Lisa. And if your conscience is bothering you, you should sooth it with the knowledge that you may have just saved the entire TrekBBS and all it cost were the reputations of one former administrator and one hacked mod...and the self-respect of one Red Quacker. I don't know about you, but I'd call that a bargain."

* * *

The next day, StarMan formally declared war against Christian and Lisa. He's already struck fifteen accounts throughout the hotmail network.

So! This is a huge victory for the good guys! This may even be the turning point of the entire war. There is even a 'Welcome to the Fight' party in the Troll Kingdom.

So...I lied. I cheated. I bribed men to cover the crimes of other men. I am an accessory to permabanning.

But the most damning thing of all...I think I can live with it. And if I had to do it all over again...I would. MasterMind was right about one thing: A guilty conscience is a small price to pay for the safety of the TrekBBS. ...So I will learn...to live with it.

...Because I can live with it. I CAN live with it.

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