On my 16th birthday I went to a retreat, my first ever. It was called a Christian Awakening. I was raised Catholic and the retreat was at a Catholic Center in Richmond, VA where I grew up. I had arrived in a horrible state of mind. My dad had missed my 16th birthday on purpose because he was mad at me for speaking back to him. I was in a sour defensive mood.
I met my first Soulmate, Anne Banebridge (she'd be about 30 right now & if you know her please email me! we have lost touch)and we made deep connections that week. (Lellyn, my Beloved went to school with her, they were in band together!)
A man named Gregory lead a group of 5 of us on a visual and sensory journey through one of the stories of the New Testament. It was the story of Zachaus and the tree. Gregory made the whole scenery come alive. He described the air, the smells the temperature, what people were wearing, what was going on in the street, what the buildings looked like, and in the middle of this vivid discription he described a short squatty little man. His name was Zachaus and he was a tax collector not liked by anyone. He then said that there was a commotion coming down the street and some children said a great prophet and teacher was coming and talked about the rumors that were on the street. Zachaus wanting to see, was too short so he climbed up a tree to for a better view. There was a throng coming down the street but you couldn't tell which was the man called Jesus until one person stopped in the middle of the crowd and looked up into the tree...
At this point time stood still and it had nothing to do with what Gregory said, all he had done was pause long enough to take a breath. I was like an invisible observer floating over Zachaus' right shoulder. Jesus looked up and his and my eyes met. We locked eyes and it was as if there was a beam of transmission between our gazes. He looked right at me! not Zachaus! He saw me and I could feel him see me! I knew SO much in that moment. I knew he was not some dead guy from 2000 years ago, I knew I would never from that point forward ever be alone again, I knew he was alive and real. I knew he was more than Lord, but he was my best friend, my lover, and he loved me...
...and said "Zachaus, come down out of the tree." The story continued and I was forever changed. The relationship I started on that day has grown and changed over the years, but I have never since that moment, ever been alone again. I never will be. Lellyn is my Beloved, and Jesus(a facet of Shehe- my name for the Divine now) is my Beloved of Beloveds.