Attack of the Black Coal Monster
From When I Was Just Four Years Old
by IamBoris

It interrupted my dreams
when the car suddenly stopped.
I thought we were home,
safe in the driveway,
but something was wrong.

The car wasn�t stopped-
It was still moving,
just very, very slowly.
Slow motion
like in the movie
when the spaceship hit�
the black coal!

Oh, no, we hit a black coal!

�Mom!� I wanted to cry,
but I was so scared.
Before I could get brave,
there was a weird buzzing,
something started crashing
on the window!
It kinda sounded like rain,
but�but we�re in the black coal!

Must be the black coal gramma rays!

Then a whole rainbow of colors
filled up the windows.
I couldn�t see anything,
not even the gramma rays.
Oh, no!

It�s a timewarp!

More gramma rays,
then a alien-monster
with lotsa arms
attacked the windshield.
What was I gonna do?

I covered my eyes,
waiting for the monster
to eat us.
Oh no, oh no, oh�

Wait.

Now I heard it on the roof!
I dared to peek through my fingers,
and I saw the alien
being dragged off the windshield!

A super spaceman musta got �im!

And the gramma rays
and timewarps
started going away,
and a pressure pushed
on the car�s outside-
prob�ly gramma-tea
from the black coal.

And then it all stopped.

I could see
out the window again,
and I saw-
me?
Another me looking back.
I go to wave, and so does he,
and then we both notice
the cars are all sparkly,
all clean.

What a weird thing.

And before we can even begin
to figure out
how two monster-attacked cars
were so shiny-clean,
our moms
look at us and say,
�Oh, you�re up.
How�d you like

your first car wash?�
Black Hole Monsters
by IamBoris

The car didn�t stop-
it just moved very slowly.

Slow motion like in that movie
when the spaceship hit the black hole.

Runny rainbow timewarps filled the windows
so I couldn�t see outside.

Gamma rays rained, and alien monsters
attacked the windshield.

I covered my eyes, waiting to be eaten.
But wait.  The noise grew quiet.

I dared to peek through my fingers
and saw the alien dragged away.

And the gamma rays and timewarps
slowly disappeared.

I could see out the window again.
I saw another me looking back.

Our moms saw us, too, and asked,
�Did you like your first car wash?�
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