Susan got up off of her knees from the toilet and splashed her face with cold water. She looked at herself in the mirror.

She started to run a cooler than normal shower and stepped in. As she bathed, she thought about how many times in the last week that she had felt the way she did now. Nauseous, light-headed, dizzy.

She finished her shower, got dressed in a pink tank top and a pair of cut-off jean shorts. She went back into the bathroom to blow-dry her hair. She opened the medicine cabinet and grabbed her Ortho Trycycline. Opening the pack, she took the 2^nd green pill.

She hadn’t even noticed the date on her prescription. If she had, she would have noticed that today’s date was June 28^th. The date that her birth control pills were filled was May 10^th. She was WAY past due to refill her prescription; they should have been refilled on June 9^th or 10^th.

She bounded down the stairs, now feeling much better after a shower, and was ready to have lunch (again.) She had vomited up her lunch from earlier in the day, and she was famished. She looked outside of the patio doors: Rocket was still in the same position that she had left him in, when she had to hurriedly run to the bathroom not a half-hour before.

She opened the door, concerned, “Rocket! You’ve gotta either turn over or come in, NOW!” she yelled, slamming the door shut. She watched him for a response.

Nothing.

She opened the door again, “Robert!”

Still nothing. Now she was scared and began to worry. She quickly ran out to his side.

“Rocket?” she said, lightly touching his now very pink face.

“Huh? Wha? Oh Hi, Suz, my beautiful girl, I was just dreaming about you you know…” he slurred, slipped back to sleep quickly.

“Baby, you’ve had enough sun today, it’s time to come in!” she kissed him softly on his cheek.

“Robbie?!”

“Ok, ok, I’m coming. Here, help me get out of this contraption.” he said, reaching out for her hand.

She helped him out of the chaise lounge and helped him inside the cool house.

He quickly took a seat at the kitchen table, “God Suz, I feel so fucking tired and so weak.” he sighed.

“Too much sun today, Rocket, believe me, I wasn’t out there half as long as you were today, and I feel tired and weak too!” “It made me feel so bad, so sick, I actually got sick about a half-hour ago.” she said, her back to him, cutting up some fruit for a salad for the two of them.

That got his attention. Susan was the healthiest woman he knew, and for her to be sick, well it just didn’t fly.

“What’dya mean, you got sick?” he questioned her seriously.

“You know, sick, I threw up. Not really something I want to broadcast, but it’s all the sun.,” she said to him “Just too much sun for me today, that’s all. Hey, I’m drinking water like it’s going out of style, I’m just dehydrated, that’s all, I promise. She said, convincingly, even though she wasn’t sure if that was what was wrong with her at all.

Robert knew Susan enough to not push, especially when it came to something like this. Ever since they had been together, she had always thought that Robert was a bit overprotective, so he wasn’t going to pry. Besides, she was a doctor too, and if anyone knew her body, it was Susan. Her health was meticulous, working out everyday, watching what she ate, all of that. So he didn’t ask her any further questions regarding her sickness.

“Ok babe, if you’re sure…” he said, now getting up from the chair, heading out to the living room and upstairs for a shower.

“Hey Suz? Love you…” as he bounded up the stairs.

“Lunch will be ready in twenty, ok Rocket?” she called to him.

She took this time away from Rocket to try to call Abby again.

The phone rang and on the middle of the second ring, a whispering Abby answered with a soft, “Hello?”

Silence, Susan didn’t know what to day.

“Hello?!” Abby said now, in a bit louder whisper.

“Hey Ab.”

“Susan!?”

“Yeah, it’s me.” Susan whispered as well, keeping one ear upstairs for the shower to stop.

“My God, Susan, I’ve been dying to get a hold of you!”

“Sounds like you’re sneaking to talk to me as well” Susan said, in a soft laugh.

“Yeah, John’s asleep on the couch, hold on, let me grab the phone in the bedroom…. Are you telling me that you have to sneak to talk to me as well? I mean, you’re whispering too.” Abby said, laughing softly herself.

“Well, no not really, uh… Yeah kinda… Oh, it’s a long story..” Susan said in her normal voice now. Look Abby, I’m not sure why you took a chance and called me, but I need to apologize for that night. I’m so sorry Ab, for punching you like that, if I could take it all back, I would, in a heartbeat.” Susan said, her voice cracking…

“Forget about that, I’m just glad that you still want to talk to me, I’ve missed you Susan.” Abby said silently.

“Abby, I’ve missed talking to you so much, so much has been going on, I miss working, I miss you and Carter, I just miss all of it.” Susan said, now unmistakably crying.

“Shhhh Susan, don’t cry. Everything will be ok. I’ve been hearing rumors that Weaver really needs an extra pair of hands in the ER. I’ve heard her mention your name on several occasions.” Abby said, matter of factly.

“Really?” Susan sounded more optimistic now.

“Yeah, Luka still isn’t back from the Congo, and we’re desperately short staffed, you know how that goes…” Abby said, still whispering. “Wait! Hold on!” Abby shouted, still whispering.

Susan could hear Carter’s voice:

“Who are you talking to that you have to whisper?” he asked Abby

She heard Abby trying to make excuses, trying to lie to Carter as to whom she was talking to. Then she heard Abby just tell him that she was talking to her.

“You’re talking to Susan?” she heard Carter ask.

“Yeah… I’m sorry John, I miss her, I needed to talk to her.” she heard Abby say.

“Can I say something to her?” she heard Carter ask Abby.

“John, she sounds really sad, please don’t say something that you’ll regret later, like before.” she heard Abby whisper to him.

“Promise.” he said honestly.

“Susan?” she heard Carter on the other end of the phone.

Silence.

“Susan, you still there?” Carter asked, now sounding quite concerned.

“Yeah Carter, it’s me….”

“Susan, I’m glad to be able to talk to you, I hope you can forgive me for what I said to you that night.” Carter said, solemnly. “You’ve got to understand the position that I was in, I had Weaver breathing down my neck, and I needed you there. And then when you did that to Ab, I just went over the edge, I’m sorry Susan….”

Susan swallowed hard, fighting back the tears, she had agonized over that night for so long, she had felt so bad, not only for what she had put Carter through, but also for what she had done to Abby.

“No Carter, there’s no need for you to apologize. Ever since Robert and I have been together, I’ve pretty much given up on everything else and everyone else. I was wrong to tell you that I’d be in that night, when I knew I wouldn’t be. I’m sorry for that, I’m sorry you had to take the heat for that from Weaver. More than anything though, I’m so sorry for decking Abby like that….” She started a soft sob that Carter immediately picked up on.

“Susan, are you crying? Please don’t cry. Everything is ok now, I forgive you, you forgive me, and you know how forgiving Abby is, please don’t cry anymore.” Carter pleaded.

She was silent for a moment, “Thanks Carter, I really needed to hear that, I love you guys, you’re both my best and dearest friends, to lose that, would be like losing my heart. I love you both, so much!” she desperately said.

“I know Suz,” Carter said in the reassuring voice that Susan was so used to hearing after every crisis she and he had ever been through together. It calmed her right down. “Here, let me put you back on with Ab, she’s really missed you, you two talk for however long you need, ok?”

“Thanks again Carter…” Susan managed to say without sounding like she was still crying.

She heard Abby thanking Carter for understanding and a quick kiss in the background.

“Still there, Suz?” Abby said happily.

“Yeah, I’m still here… Abby, I need a huge favor from you, and I need your confidentiality and your friendship more than ever right now.” Susan said, seriously.

“Sure Susan, whatever you need, I’m here. What’s going on?” Abby was concerned now.

“Well, I’ve been sick, you know, throwing up, dehydrated, dizzy, lightheaded….. I may have some idea of what it is, but I need a confirmation.” Susan said, knowing deep in her heart what the diagnosis might be, and knowing that Abby would be thinking the same thing.

“Sure Suz, first you need to go to get an EPT, then come in here and I’ll give you a blood test and an ultrasound, sound good?” Abby asked, concerned, yet happy for her friend at the prospect.

“Well, I was just about to go out and get a test…” Susan said as Abby interrupted her.

“Susan, oh my God! You’ve got to be thrilled! I know how you feel about Romano, it would be awesome news! How do you think he’d take it?” Abby asked excitedly.

“Well, I think he’d be ecstatic, but you never know… Abby, I’ve been taking the pills religiously! How could this happen, if indeed it has happened? Susan asked, not thinking like a doctor.

Almost as if on cue, Abby reminded Susan, “You’re a doctor Susan, you should have known right off the bat! I’m so happy for you!” Abby screamed and laughed into the phone with delight.

“Abby! Shhhh! I don’t want Carter to know until I’m sure. One step at a time, please! Rocket doesn’t know yet. I don’t want to get his hopes up, I want to surprise him, so to him, if he asks, I’ve just got a virus or something, ok?” Susan asked her best friend.

“You’ve got it Susan, and again, even though you don’t know for sure, congratulations!” Abby said with the most enthusiasm Susan had ever heard…