Joseph Morallis, number seven on America�s top ten most wanted list, was finally arrested by authorities last Tuesday. The Central Intelligence Agency and the Federal Bureau of Investigation were both after this loathsome scoundrel of a war-profiteer. He was caught when, while buying a package of gum and a roll of toilet paper, a Convenience store owner recognized him from a wanted sign he�d seen in a Post office 52 years ago. His face had changed slightly over the years, but the owner was sure it was him.
At the time, Joseph was retired from his service to the FBI as an investigator. No one recognized him at his work because he grew a thin mustache and worked under the name �Joe Morallis�. He was renowned for his cleverness, resourcefulness, and his abilitytofooldumbassesness. But all these traits were no match for the intuitive geniuses at the CIA.
Joseph was a war-profiteer; stationed in Germany during World War II, he stole military-issued shoelaces and sold them on the black market, making hundreds of dollars. All this illegal activity could be spotted from a mile away from anyone in the military police. So the MP set up a meeting in arrangement to buy some of the merchandise. However, things turned sour when Morallis detected trouble and reacted violently, poking an agent in the eye and running off. He fled Germany on a well-placed Hang-Glider and took up residence in Canada. Soon after, he changed his name and moved to the U.S.A. to join the FBI. Rumors of his return to the States surfaced and the case was picked up by a youthful and troubled CIA agent and his older, wiser partner, who advised him through his troubles.
The tenacious duo worked long and hard, and their adventures were filled with danger, super-excitement, romance, comedy, and adventure. There was even Kung-Fu, and gunfighting. After 58 years, one last lead brought the great story with a well-developed plot to an end, or so they thought.
With all the excitement around the brilliant end to this 58 year old case, someone failed to notice that the Statute of limitations for the crime had expired 48 years earlier. Learning this, the entire CIA simultaneously let out a sigh of disappointment. After being set free, loathsome scoundrel, Joseph Morallis, jumped into the air, clicked his heals, and laughed giddily, running off into the horizon. |
