It Ain't Half Hot Mum episode 1

Plot:
The Bearer and the Char Wallah are discussing the local Dhobi Wallah who still uses the traditional method of banging clothes against a rock in the river. The Bearer explains how he suggested to the Dhobi Wallah that he should use washing powder, but the Dhobi Wallah explained to him that he didn't have enough to fill the river.
The Sgt-Major gets the go ahead to take the Concert Party on a three day Jungle Survival Course, but the Colonel decides that both he and the Captain Ashwood don't really need to go along. The Bearer then delivers a chitty to the Colonel from Major Waddilove-Evans, who called earlier at the camp to see him.   The Captain asks who Waddilove-Evans is.
            Colonel: "He's the Husband of the Lady who happened to be on leave in the hills at the same time as me"
            Captain: "Jolly good show."
            Colonel: "Yes, it was!"
The chitty explains that The Major wishes to see the Colonel, and will visit in a day or two to "clear up a few things". The Colonel decides that he and Ashwood do need a break, and that they too will go on the Jungle survival course.

The Concert Party head off on foot into the Jungle. Unknown to the Sgt-Major, they have made arrangements for the Bearer, Char Wallah, and Punkah Wallah to follow them discreetly. The Colonel and the Captain make their own way into the jungle, courtesy of a Jeep, and decide not to go with the Concert Party as there isn't any point in them getting their feet wet. The Colonel explains to Ashwod that he has made arrangements for them to stay with District Commissioner Hope Thompson for a few days.

The Sgt-Major takes the time to tell the Concert Party that with no Char Wallahs around to look after them, they are going to have to live off the land. They have limited rations of food and water on them, and he explains that it will be hard, but he will get them through it.   One of their first tasks is to try and cross the river they come to, and to show them how to do it, the Sgt-Major gets in it.
But Solly has decided to get his own back on the Sgt-Major for having taken them away from their shows, and has made a fake Crocodile which the Bearer will put in the water to scare the Sgt-Major. Unfortunately, as soon as the Sgt-Major sees the Crocodile, he fires upon it, and it then becomes apparent that it is nothing more than a wooden replica. He gets very angry with the Concert Party for trying to get one over on him, and makes them throw all their food rations into the river. Whilst they are doing that, a second Crocodile appears on the water, and despite the warnings from the concert party, the Sgt-Major ignores it and says that they can't fool him again. So they fire their guns and kill it, which enrages the Sgt-Major even more. He climbs out of the water and informs them that they are all on a charge. Then the Game Warden appears and gives the Sgt-Major a mouthfull for killing an expensive Crocodile and informs him that he will pay a fine of 100 rupees. The Sgt-Major takes no notice of him and tells him to "Get Stuffed!".
When the Game Wadren has left, the Sgt-Major throws his own rations into the river to prove his point that he is the best man there, and will show them.   They head off deeper into the Jungle with the Sg-Major at the front of their procession, while at the back of the line, the Concert Party are taking it in turns to have a cup of tea.   The Sgt-Major looks exhausted and thirsty, while the others don't. He tells them that they are probably all thirsty, and shows them how to get a drink from the sap of a tree branch. He warns them that it doesn't taste nice, and that their week stomaches won't be able to handle it, but it will keep them alive. He then rushes off to be sick.
When they make a camp for the night, the concert party take it in turns to go to the toilet in pairs (so as not to get lost), when in fact they are going off to eat a meal of Egg and Chips made by the Bearer. The Sgt-Major has gathered roots for their tea, unaware that they have food a few trees away, and can't understand why none of them are not hungry.
The next day, the Sgt-Major is in a bad way, and refuses an offer of water from Solly stating that if he (Solly) can last without having drank much from his bottle, then so can he! Later in the evening, they stumble through the bushes and arrive at the District Commissioner's home where the Colonel and Captain are having dinner in their black ties. After discovering that they are a concert party, and having referrd to the Sgt Major as a scarecrow, the Commissioner asks them to put on a show for him, which they do.
The Sgt-Major slumps to the ground, bewildered at how they can perform having had practically no food or drink for two days and soon wolfs down the Egg Banjo and Chips, and a cup of Tea brought to him by The Bearer.