| Brian found an empty seat in the stands. He had to find her. They needed to talk. After all these months with no word to any of them, to find her living and working in his hometown, was not what he expected. He had pestered AJ for weeks after Shelby left, he felt sure AJ knew where she had gone. They had been close but obviously not close enough to share her whereabouts with him. He had missed her terribly. He remembered back to when she first joined them in �99. She had kept everything on a business level, not wanting to become too familiar with any of them. But eventually they broke down her reserve and Shelby became family to them although Brian had different feelings for her that he never acted on. From the moment she walked into her very first meeting, he was taken with her. She was pretty in a simple girl-next-door way, with a smile and a laugh that was infectious. She was good at her job and they could always count on Shelby to have their schedules in order. Brian tried every subtle approach he could think of to initiate a relationship with her, but somehow Shelby never took the bait. Obviously he wasn�t her type, although he never saw her with anyone the entire time she worked for them. She kept her private life, just that, private. And then Laurie walked into his life. He could now look back on all those months and realize he never loved Laurie. He convinced himself he did. Laurie would never have given him what he wanted for the rest of his life. He knew that now and in a way he was grateful to her for letting him see first hand how they just didn�t want the same things. She had boosted his ego, telling him what he wanted to hear and he thought it was love. Yet he knew better. Love had to be mutual. Well if nothing else, he would go by the foundation offices on Monday just to say hello to Shelby. But he knew just seeing her again would bring back those feelings he once had. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~ The following week Brian tried numerous times to see Shelby, varying his arrival, but each and every occasion he was told she was at a meeting or at lunch or had left the building. Her phone number was unlisted and as much as Elise would have given it to him, she had been given strict instructions not to divulge Shelby�s number without her permission. Brian was quite put out and by Friday he came storming into his parents kitchen and flung himself in a chair. Jackie had heard the screech of tires in the driveway and the backdoor slam and came running into the kitchen, stopping when she saw her son, his elbows on the table and his head resting in his hands. �Brian?� she called from the doorway. �Honey, are you all right?� Slowly Brian lifted his head and she was totally taken back by the look of despair on his face. �All I want is to talk to her.� He mumbled returning his gaze to the table as he fingered the placemat. �Shelby?� His mom came and sat next to him. His strange behavior in Louisville last Saturday peeked her interest as well as concern. Jackie knew that his breakup with Laurie had hurt him deeply. His disinterest in dating again troubled her. All women weren�t like Laurie and she knew that Brian was aware of that too, but in all these months he had showed no desire to begin dating again. So not one to pry, Jackie knew she would have to let him take the lead and talk to her. And only then would she use her instincts and find out why he was so interested in Shelby. Brian nodded at Shelby�s name. �Why is it so important that you talk to her?� The direct approach seemed the right way. But the look on his face at her question told her exactly what she wanted to know. �You like her don�t you?� �Of course I like her,� he shot back too quickly, �we all did. But she up and left without so much as a goodbye or anything.� His voice was tinged with anger but Jackie sensed he took her leaving as a personal affront and he bolted out of the chair. He took a bottle of water from the refrigerator and drank deeply, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He had not told anyone about Shelby. He watched his mother as she sat waiting patiently. He felt like a fool. He had let so much time pass, wasted time on a woman who had no intentions of loving him back. And now, just seeing Shelby for those few seconds, his head was spinning. He had to tell someone because if he didn�t he would go crazy. Jackie watched as he paced back and forth. She could almost see the wheels churning inside his head as he tried to formulate how to tell her what she already knew. One more question on her part should give him the nudge he needed. �And so you just want to find out what prompted her to leave your employ without any notice?� �Yes!� He snapped but then shook his head. �No. I mean�oh God, mom. I�we�� He dropped into the chair. �It�s been so long and I�she didn�t seem to want�and well I�and then Laurie�� he rambled incoherently and all the thoughts in his head stumbled forward. He looked up and there was a hint of tears in his eyes. Jackie took his hands in hers. �I love her mom. I have since the first day I saw her.� Jackie closed her eyes and nodded her head. �And Laurie?� �I don�t know what that was. I thought I loved her, but since that dreadful night I�ve had so much time to think about it all. And I�ve come to realize we both used each other. I used Laurie to try and forget about Shelby as much as Laurie used me for her own end too.� He could feel the comfort and strength from his mother�s touch. She just sat quietly. She never judged, just listened intently. �This doesn�t surprise you does it?� He sniffed and wiped his cheek. �Let�s just say it confirms my hunch. But you had mentioned proposing to Laurie, Brian. Would you have gone through with that knowing how you felt about Shelby?� �I almost did. That night I walked in and found her,� his voice stopped. The images were still so vivid even after all these months. �I had the ring in my pocket. But I don�t think she would have accepted my proposal. I would like to think she wouldn�t anyway. She kept dropping hints and I never saw them. I guess I should be grateful to her in that her careless behavior that night opened my eyes.� �It still doesn�t justify what Laurie did Brian.� �I know that and I feel like a fool that I couldn�t see what others could. But that�s over and I will never let anyone hurt me like that again.� He slipped his hand from his mother�s and sat up straight. �So you are going to cut yourself off from loving again?� He nodded. �And what about Shelby?� �What about her?� �You are just going to pine over her without telling her how you feel?� �I�m not pining.� He said pathetically. Jackie knew better. �Yes you are Brian and something tells me that you are right about Shelby�s abrupt departure a year ago. Something or someone made her leave without a glance backward.� Jackie patted his hands. She planted the seed now it was up to him to act on it. She left him at the table. |