| A few weeks later Shelby sat in the conference room and sipped her coffee as she went over some notes. There was a group meeting at ten. She had a raging headache brought on by her lack of sleep. It had become commonplace for her lately. Her conversation with Laurie still haunted her and Shelby debated whether or not to tell Brian what was going on. Was Brian so blinded by her charms that he couldn�t see past them? He was being used and didn�t seem to notice. He deserved so much more than what Laurie was offering. If only�she shook the thought from her head. It was no use. He didn�t see her that way. And because she couldn�t seem to let go of her feelings, she was alone. She was standing on the sidelines watching while he showered his affection on someone who didn�t love him at all. And there was AJ. He was constantly watching her. He thought she didn�t see it, but whenever Brian and Laurie were around Shelby would catch him glancing her way. It made her wonder whether he knew or not. And another thing that didn�t make any sense was Brian�s demeanor when AJ was near her. He almost seemed jealous. But Brian had more important things to worry about at the moment than AJ. She didn�t get it and the stress was beginning to take its toll on her. Shelby knew she was going to have to extricate herself from this situation. If she wasn�t around them, maybe she could get on with her life. She had even written the letter of resignation. She wasn�t sure what she would do, but there was plenty of money in the bank and after a nice vacation she could seek out new employment. �Hey there.� Brian sat down next to Shelby bringing her out of her musings. �Hi. You�re early.� She looked back at her notes. �I know. I thought I should try to get here on time for a change. I apologize for my tardiness lately and my lip. I�ve been giving you a hard time and I know you are only doing your job.� He put his arm around her and hugged her tight. She thought she would melt right there on the spot. �You okay?� He looked at her as she slowly moved out of his embrace. �Yes. Why?� �You just seem a bit distracted. Anything I can help with?� �No, just trying to make sure everything is in order.� Brian nodded. �It�s my responsibility to get you guys to where you need to be remember?� She slid her chair further away. His closeness unnerved her. �And you do a great job. I guess we don�t tell you that enough.� Brian fidgeted a bit. Shelby continued to go through her notes but she sensed he wanted to talk. Finally Brian cleared his throat. �Shelby, I need your opinion on something.� She looked up from her notes. His face was so serious. �What about?� She placed the pen in the slot and closed her pad. �Marriage.� Her mouth dropped open. �What?� She gasped. �I�ve been thinking about marriage. I want to settle down, have a family. You know, do things that normal people do. What do you think?� He sat waiting while she just stared in her lap. He valued her opinion and he wanted a woman�s perspective on his decision. He knew that Shelby and Laurie never really spent any time together. Actually, they had very little contact but it still mattered to him what Shelby thought. �What I think?� He nodded. �In general or specifically?� Shelby swallowed hard, fear gripping her. She was afraid of what he was going to say. �Both, I guess.� �Um, I don�t know Brian. I mean marriage is a big step. It�s a life-long commitment. Do you think you are ready for that?� �I think so. I mean I�m 31 years old. I can�t live like this forever, dating one girl after another with no future. I want a family to come home to. I want what my parents have.� Shelby noticed his gaze drift off as if he could see the house and picket fence and two kids running around in the back yard. �That�s all well and good, but it takes two to get married.� �Well I know that. I�ve been thinking about asking Laurie.� Shelby�s eyes grew large and her heart started to beat faster. �I know we�ve had some problems.� Shelby eyed him. �But I love her,� he said in her defense, �and we�ve been able to work out our differences. So what do you think about my asking her?� She wanted the floor to swallow her up. He couldn�t do this. She wasn�t right for him and besides she had been cheating on him. She took a deep breath and slowly looked at him. Damn he was beautiful and he had no idea what he could do to you. I mean here he sat in jeans, sweatshirt and sneakers and he looked like a J. Crew model. Her hands began to sweat and she just knew that if she didn�t get out of there soon she was going to make a fool of herself. �Well,� Brian asked, �what do you think?� �Um I don�t know, what about Laurie? Does she love you?� Shelby had to ask knowing full well that she didn�t but she wanted to hear what Brian said. �Well yeah, I mean she says it all the time when we are, um, making love.� Shelby could feel her face grow warm. Just the thought of the two of them together like that disturbed her. �What about other times, Brian.� �What do you mean?� �I mean does she say it even when you are not making love?� �What? I love you?� �Yes Brian, I love you.� Before she realized what had happened the words were out of her mouth. He didn�t pick up on it and she averted her gaze. So many times she had imagined hearing those words from his lips just as she had imagined saying them back to him. His words still echoed in her ears even though they weren�t meant for her. Shelby began to shake. �Shel, you okay, honey. You�re trembling.� Brian went to touch her and she stood up. �Excuse me Brian, I don�t feel very well.� She went into the ladies room and closed the door to the stall. The tears fell and she sobbed uncontrollably. Her stomach was in knots as she dry heaved into the toilet. This had to stop. She knew she needed to separate herself from him. She had to leave. It was the only way. When she finally emerged from the restroom, Brian looked up and went directly to her. Shelby noticed that Nick and AJ had joined him while she was gone. �You okay?� She nodded not looking at him. �You still look a bit peeked. Come here.� He wrapped her in his arms and she closed her eyes. She drank in his scent before she stepped back. �I�m fine. Must have been the coffee or something. It didn�t agree with me.� �Hey Rok, look at this,� Nick called to him and Brian went over to the table. AJ walked over to her and put his arm around her. �When are you going to tell him?� He whispered against her hair. She shot him a look of surprise. �Tell who, what?� �Don�t play dumb with me Shel. I know. I can see it every time you look at him.� She backed away and went to the sofa and sat down. AJ sat next to her. �He should know how you feel you know.� �I have no idea what you are talking about.� She sat with her hands in her lap afraid to look at AJ knowing he would be able to read her face like an open book. �Yes you do, sweetheart. You�re in love with Rok. You have been for a long time.� |