| She raised her head, her eyes wide in disbelief. �You were?� �Uh huh. They told me to leave, that you would sleep, but I couldn�t. So I stayed and then AJ came in around seven in the morning and sent me home to sleep and about an hour later they told me you woke up.� �Brian, you and Laurie, you had been together about six months by then.� She remembered how all the guys had been worried about her but Brian in particular kept asking so many questions. �She wanted to go to a party that night. I couldn�t, you were,� he paused searching her face for some kind of understanding, �you were so sick, I just couldn�t. I didn�t argue with her and let her go. I sat with you all night while you slept. Your breathing was so labored and I prayed, Shel, and in my prayers I professed my love. I had even decided to break it off with Laurie, but then you got better and you continued to keep me at arms distance, so�� �You never said anything to Laurie.� Brian shook his head. �But you made sure I had someone with me when I was released. You even spent a Sunday with me. We played every board game we both owned that day and I remember I fell asleep on the sofa.� Brian nodded. �We slept there all night and you woke up with a very stiff neck.� Brian laughed. �Yeah it took about three days to work itself out. But I didn�t want to wake you and I liked having you in my arms.� Shelby blushed remembering she had thought the same thing. �Brian this is all well and good, but it doesn�t explain you and Laurie. Why did you stay with her?� �I don�t know. It got comfortable and I thought I loved her. But it wasn�t real love; it couldn�t have been because you were always there under the surface. Even when,� Brian hesitated. �No! I don�t want� No! I don�t believe you.� She lowered her eyes not wanting to know. He lifted her chin. �Yes, Shelby, there were nights I imagined it was you.� �Oh God. No. Please stop!� She put up her hands not wanting to hear any more. �But what about that whole marriage thing?� He had no right to put her through this. �Well there were a few months there where I thought I had finally let go of you, but then you left and I realized that I would never stop loving you. I never asked her. Although the night I found her, the ring was in my pocket and I had thought about it again. Lucky for me I finally saw her for what she was.� �You found her?� Brian�s face became very serious and Shelby just knew what had happened. �You walked in on Laurie and someone else, didn�t you?� Brian looked at her and his eyes said it all. �Oh Brian, I�m sorry you had to find out that way.� All her reservations slipped away with the knowledge that Brian had been subjected to Laurie�s brazen behavior. �You knew too?� Shelby averted her eyes. �I guess I was the only one living in the dark.� He let out a half laugh. �Me, the cautious one, what a joke. When did you�� �A couple of months before I left. I went to your room at the hotel in California and a strange man answered. Laurie came down to the coffee shop about fifteen minutes later and we talked. And then when you told me about marrying her, I wanted to tell you, but�� �And you left the next morning.� �Yes. I couldn�t stay. I couldn�t bear to see the two of you together any more. It hurt too much especially knowing she didn�t love you, I just had to get away.� His look bore right through her. Shelby turned her head and closed her eyes. She wanted to run, but couldn�t. �What�s done is done, Shelby, now is what matters. I love you. I should have said something at the beginning. We could have saved each other so much heart ache.� He tucked his hand under her chin and looked into her eyes. She was on the verge of tears. �I used Laurie as much as she used me. It was foolish and thinking back on it now, no one would have been able to erase you from my heart. A day never went by after you left that your face didn�t invaded my thoughts. And now that I�ve found you, I�m not letting you go.� He leaned forward and brushed his lips to hers. Shelby let out a moan and tried to push him away. �No.� The protest came out as a whisper. �Yes.� He brushed his thumb on her cheek smearing the tears rolling down her face. �You love me. You�ve admitted it. And you proved it when we made love the other night. Don�t push me away. I won�t hurt you, I promise.� This time his kiss was more demanding. Shelby�s hands rested on his chest as his tongue slipped between her lips. She moaned again as he awoke those dormant feelings again and he felt her yield under him as her hands grabbed his shirt. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Shelby hardly slept that night. She wanted to blame it on her extended nap of earlier in the day but she wasn�t fooling herself. Their conversation kept her awake. Brian�s revelations and continual admission of love kept running through her head along with the fact that he was only across the hall which didn�t lend itself to a restful night. Finally in the wee hours of the morning Shelby sat up. She stayed still for a few minutes and when there was no dizziness or pain she got out of bed and slowly and quietly made her way downstairs. As she passed Brian�s room she noticed the door was slightly ajar and she could hear him breathing. She peeked in to see him on his stomach the sheet tangled around his legs and his upper body bare. She felt a tightness in her chest as she gazed at him. He had her heart no matter what ever happened between them. He was right, she loved him beyond understanding and her body belied what her head kept telling her. She would never have given herself so freely the other night if she didn�t love him. And now, now it was up to her to accept or reject his declaration. Shelby turned from the opened door and went down the stairs. Even after a full night of weighing everything he had said she was still in turmoil. She found the coffee maker and filled the pot with water and measured out the coffee. It was still dark although there was the slightest hint of daybreak on the horizon as a thin line of pink began to break through the pitch of night. Shelby wandered onto the back patio. The air was a bit cool and she breathed deeply. She felt a slight twinge in her temple but nothing like the day before. Once the coffee was ready she took a cup and settled on the sofa in the living room. As she sipped she tried to sort out all her feelings and all that had been said the night before. If not for Laurie, Shelby knew she could accept Brian�s acknowledgment easier. She put the cup on the coffee table and closed her eyes. Why couldn�t love be easier? Why did it always have to be so complicated? She took the soft throw from the sofa and wrapped it around her. It wasn�t long before she fell asleep. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Brian rolled onto his back the sun streaming through the window. He looked at the clock. It was nearly ten. He�d been awake a good part of the night sleep eluding him having been so conscious of Shelby across the hall that he couldn�t relax enough. Finally around four he succumbed and now a good part of the morning was gone. He pulled on his jeans and a tee shirt and checked in on Shelby. When he found her room empty he panicked. He noticed all her clothes were still there but still raced down the stairs. He came up short when he saw her sleeping form and a smile curled his lips. He poured a cup of coffee and settled in the chair across from the sofa content to just watch her as she slept. It was nearly noon when Shelby stirred and as she opened her eyes she took in the sight of Brian deeply engrossed in a murder mystery. �Ah, sleeping beauty awakes,� he muttered as he looked up and smiled at her. He put the book on the table and came to her. Shelby sat up and rubbed her eyes and stretched. She could tell by the shadows that it had to be nearly midday. �You look better.� Brian touched her cheek and Shelby covered his hand with hers and took it from her face. �I feel much better. My head barely hurts at all.� �That�s great. A couple more days and you should feel like new.� He went to touch her again and Shelby shied away. Brian gave her a puzzling look. �Shelby, what�s wrong?� �Nothing. But I think I need to go home.� Brian went to say something but she stopped him. �I know you don�t want me to be alone, but I�m okay. I appreciate your looking after me yesterday and all, but I need to go home. I need time to think and I can�t do it clearly if you are around.� �Shel, I just want to help.� �I know you do, but you don�t understand. Every time you touch me, or you kiss me, all rational thought is gone. I do love you, but I just need some time.� She looked at him longingly. Her eyes pleading with him to understand. �You�ve made up your mind?� She nodded. She could see the resignation on his face. He didn�t want her to leave. Brian had this sinking feeling that if she walked out the door without accepting his love, she may never come back. He dropped his head and nodded. �Okay. I�ll take you home but just understand this. I love you no matter what you may think or feel about the past. And I will prove to you that I�m not just saying empty words.� With that he took her face in his hands and kissed her gently. �Come on, I�ll help you pack up your things.� He stood and held out his hand. Shelby slipped hers inside and they went up stairs. |