As our world population is booming thanks to the technological advance of medicine and etc, its pretty evident that it wont be long until we will run out of raw materials to sustain to the world's needs.I, a brilliant genius, have come up with a plan that can save the world from impending doom and ensure the planet can survive until the next world war.My idea is that we should recycle human bodies.
Here is a list of reasons:
Endless Ammunition for War: The nuclear bomb on Hiroshima and the Napalm in Vietnam have caused heaps of abnormalties and defects during war. The after-effects of these weapons often last for several generations , and is deadly to the environment.Need i say more?
Endless food supply: We will never run out of food if we all keep a piece of our great grandfather in the fridge or our pet dogs for breakfast.
Endless energy supply: Here's the solution for all you hippies out there! Instead of burning coal and etc for energy, we can use bodies of the dead instead!!
Free toys for Children: Tired of buying that expensive Action Hero figurine or that Deluxe edition Barbie for your spoiled chidren?Use dead bodies!They are free, and all you have to do is dress them up and cover them with GLAD wrap to make sure your chidlren wont get infected! SCORE!!
Free Sex: Ever fantasized about orgies with 20 girls? Never found the perfect woman who liked all your fetishes? Dont have enough money for prostitutes?Dead people obey to ALL your sexual fantasies/fetishes and NEVER complain about your sexability, and they are free as well, so what are you waiting for?
Self-Fulfilment: There's no better way to die knowing that your life has been influential to others.Whether your body is used for food or burning material, you are sure to make an impact on the world.
Balance the Food Chain: If vultures know how to appreciaite dead bodies, why can't you? Why do we bury the dead and waste the body instead of feeding them to animals? We can grind up dead bodies to feed our livestock, so when we eat them, we eat our beloved!! Didnt you promise your beloved he/she will always be a part of you?
Sustainable Development is too late.There is no way to solve the problem of the future except the solution mentioned above. Fortunately, its not too late to implement my plans now. If ,however, your country has laws against eating humans,I have also prepared another brilliant plan: Go to Africa. I am sure there are still no laws or regulations against eating dead people there. Or even better, you can eat live humans!! Live humans are higher in protein and have a far less chance of yourself getting infected by diseases.The only drawback is that the meat in Africa are a bit lacking in fat, and you may not like the stench of someone not having showered since they were born.
Other ideas include eating babies or eating the elderly. Baby eating is already available in some Asian countries, but im suprised to see that granny-eating is still unpopular.Even better, if you believe you are a rebel, show it! Demonstrate to the world that you are a preservatist by eating youself in public.
If you want to take part in preserving the world, please refer to my post and ask yourself ' Am i doing my Part?'
Pokey