i guess i forgot about yesterday.  it was an uneventful day, so ya didn't miss much.  anyway, today i talkd to johnson's nurse and discussed increasing the dosage of the avinza, that maybe the reason it was ineffective was due to the dose being low, considering the high dose i'm on with methadone.  so she's going to call me back after discussin it with him.  i'm not exactly thrilled about moving off methadone, but if avinza can keep me pain free longer - due to its time-release formula (it's what is making the product so damned expensive $6+/pill), then i'd be a fool for not considering it.  anyway, woke up several times thru the night last night.  even had nightmares at one point, actually twice.  i think they were continuations of previous nightmares.  real strange.  had me sweating too - a first in a long while.  anyway, um, this whole pain thing is really starting to take a toll on my attitude.  my homecare nurse, kristie crowley, is due here in about :20.  i'll discuss this with her.  but actually, i'm starting to think about ending it all.