"I have to thing." -- Emma
"We should have a new tense: past, present, and PLEASANT tense!" -- Melissa R.
"I'd rather stare at a dead horse all day than look at any part of his body!" -- Leah
"I wouldn't want to knot my knickers." -- Aaron M.
"A cigarette burn is forever." -- Abby T.
"Describe the mark. 'It's kind of like a penguin beak crushing a cheese steak.'" -- Aaron M.
"Your glee hurts." -- Laura R.
"It was cold, they were naked, and yet they still resisted each other. Nor did they complain about it." -- Jessica
"Here comes the magic tongue." -- Bethany
"She figured the finger was in the past." -- Erin
"I hope Dad becomes a tree and gets chopped down and goes to a paper mill, and they print the 'witchcraft' Harry Potter books on him!" -- Leah
"He looks like any other white man who's decided to become president of something: really ugly." -- Bethany
"You suck on my weffie-pop." -- Bethany
"I will suffer stoically -- actually, with much complaining." -- Bethany
"Goddammit! Who cast that frog as Peter Cottontail?" -- Bethany
"Dude, it really sucks. [Name]'s mom makes the best pesto ever, but she's a freaking Christian." -- Leah
"Goddammit, Bethany, if I have to inject the fucking sperm into you myself, I will!" -- Leah
"It's not my fault you went out with a girl who went out with a clown. And got dumped by a clown." -- Leah
"It's in the best interests of the chickens, Bethany." -- Leah
"Shut up! You're making my period blood come out faster." -- Leah
"It's not even tex mex, it's, like, Yankee mex." -- Lindsay
"Whipped cream -- the hard way." -- Lily
"Now there's all this awkwardness." -- Abby T.
"That's awkward." -- Abby G.
"I think I got mommed in place of you the other day." -- Abby G.
"Abby, you know I don't know names, I just call them by their stereotypes." -- Lindsay
"Follow the bouncing stereotype!" -- Abby T.
"Did you just look at my ass?" -- Lindsey
"I'd smack that." -- Abby G.
"Now, I'm trying to think. When you write about cockfighting, are you writing about the world around you?" -- Abby (one of them)
"It seemed like an incredible plan, until I realized I was all sticky." -- Lily
"Do I have a sign tattooed to my forehead that says 'creepy guys enter here'?" -- ?
