| Have you ever been told that there was something seriously wrong with you? No? Then you can�t possibly understand what I�m going through at this present moment in time. They told me I was different from being a very young child, possibly no more than a mere child of three I�m guessing. I have two personalities, known to some people as a �Schizophrenic�, to some as a complete freak, to some, a crazy. I don�t class myself as any of that though. I never have and I never will, not until I see for myself what�s going on. As you can probably guess, I have never met my other side in person; I can�t recall what terrible things I said or did, because my other side took over me. But, I have met her once and it was totally by surprise, somewhere where you think your safe from everything� It�s kind of a strange feeling, not knowing whether you are dead or alive, you can�t feel anything. Your body, no longer works under your control, nor your thoughts or feelings. You are just a thing. Suspended in time whilst someone else takes over and tries to live their life, the way they�ve wanted to, but couldn�t. I sometimes even feel sorry for my other self, the way they must live their life looking though the eyes of someone else and not been able to live their life too. They must feel like they are living their life trapped in a jail cell, watching from a one point perspective, although, they have two. They can�t have two; otherwise it would confuse the other person on the �Other side�. Namely: myself. Sometimes, I used to consider letting the other person out for a while, they must get so bored, living in the tiny space of the corner of a mind with the occupier trying to forget all about them. I even did and for quite a long time too, but now I know, never to let her again. I ended up with more enemies than I could count of two hands, more bruises and aching limbs than I could count on hands AND feet and less friends that I could count on one hand. Waking ups the hardest part. If you weren�t the last person to go to sleep, then it has horrible side effects. When those first glimpses of light hit your burning eyes, two things can happen. First, you are stunned, and can�t move for a good hour. Second, which doesn�t always happen and I�m quite glad of, you can sometimes fall unconscious. Not a happy sight. This happened not that long ago, and I wasn�t found for three days, lying alone in my cold, damp, freezing house, without a soul to help me. That�s the time I met my other side. Unconsciousness is just like your dreams, no rules. It was weird; she looks just like me, a twin even, but didn�t act anything like me. Ignorant, rude and selfish, with a twist of hate sprinkled somewhere beneath the hard, jagged face of a vicious second. She hates me. She despises me. She�s told me so. But I won�t talk to her any more. She�s full of lies and unpredictability and would do anything to control my body. If not, I�m pretty certain; she�d kill me eventually. No more about that though, I�ll tell you how I first found out about her, when I was a child, long time ago, playing with my friends. Blocks, plastic food, laughing, sharing, singing, painting, messing about, throwing, catching, crawling through small spaces, the list, endless. When you�re a kid, nothing matters. Not if your being shouted at for that beautiful drawing you did on that newly painted wall, or that paper towel you threw, soaked in water and soap at the toilet ceiling and landed on your teacher�s head. And that�s when it first happened. I woke up with people shouting at me, screaming even, saying how rude I was, how selfish and nasty, and what they were going to do. I tried to ask them what I�d done wrong then, but they laughed and turned away. My arm was bleeding everywhere, but it didn�t hurt, not one bit. I could see the other children crying and pointing. Then my mum arrived, along with an ambulance, and doctors, with the head of school too. Rushed into hospital, a man talked to my mother in the ambulance about �in certain cases such as this� which I took to be me, to be rare and very special. That was the first and last compliment I ever had about her, and me. After that, is a bit of a blur, I found out when I was older, that I had fallen into a coma. I awoke on my fifth birthday and everyone was so nice. My arm was healed and presents were handed to me by the truckload. I wondered, why? The last time these people had seen me, they had sworn never to even look at me again and etc, and now, they were giving me expensive dolls, books, paint sets and other extravagant gifts to a five year old. School again, for another six years, thorough counselling with a weird man poking and prodding at me and asking, weird questions like �Does your friend have a name may I ask?� and �Do you talk to her ever?� Now, I, a child of seven, confused and possibly very freaked out, did not understand a single word these doctors told me. But a child of fourteen? No. I knew by that time, something serious was going on with my life and was about to find out. The doctor explained everything the next time I visited him, how they had first found out about my case, how it had happened to me about two times during my life, how I probably couldn�t remember, and how I was a true schizophrenic. Schizophrenic� do you actually know what that means? Schizophrenia [sk�ts? fr?ni ?] noun 1. psychiatric disorder affecting the coherence of the personality: a severe psychiatric disorder with symptoms of emotional instability, detachment from reality, often with delusions and hallucinations, and withdrawal into the self 2. offensive term: an offensive term for contradictory or conflicting attitudes, behaviour, or qualities (offensive) Now, I really DON�T think of my self as anything like this. This other person is real to me. Not an illusion or a made-up thing lurking in the pits of my messed up mind. She�s real, and she�ll show herself when she wants to. It makes me sound, so defiant, like I�m doing something wrong. My name, you may wonder? It�s Une. Yes, that�s right. The vicious to some; the one and only Lady Une. I�m not usually referred to by my real name, but if you really want to know it that badly, it�s�.Midii Shiranui Don�t pity me either. You�ll make Lady Une mad. Not me, but that vicious killing machine that lurks inside my insecure body of woe. I never thought that anyone could be so cruel, especially someone, like me. Feelings� strange and twisted little things. I have two sets. On one side, I love Treize Khushrenada. On the other, I hate his slimy, worthless guts. Bet you can bet which side I am� I was going to kill him. I was. I even crept in to his room one night, ready to kill him then and there. Then Wufei killed him and saved me the job, it would have been extremely messy anyway and not worth the cleaner�s time; they would have had to scrape him off the walls. She�s so empty. Hate is mostly the thing that fills her, not like me with my compassion to express feelings and tell the world about my ideas and happenings. She locks her feelings deep inside and never let them out once. Never. I for once knew how she felt. Those locked doors shut tight. You can�t really see what�s going on through your blurred vision, seeing the world through someone else�s eyes. I wish she�d go. I can still hear her threats and unreasoning abilities. The screams from the people she caught through Trieze�s orders and killed without recognition. And I can still see, the frightened eyes of her victims, my victims� Eyes, believe it or not, tell all you�ll ever need to know. They tell more than words. They tell more than writing. They tell more, than anything. Eyes can express thousands upon thousands of emotions. Love, hate, fright, kindness, sorrow, worried ness, disbelief, uncontrollable anger� I saw most of these every single day. Not usually love though, that was only through her eyes! I was thinking about my predicament the other day and realised something. Everyone has two different sides. Maybe, not as bad as mine, but think of your conscience. That has two sides. The right and the wrong. I just happen to be the right, and my other happens to be the down right evil� I mean wrong. She�s just something I�ll have to learn to live with and not without: my other, uncontrollable side. |
| Two sides to every story... |
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| Disclaimer: Lady Une is not my character and am no way making money from this! We'd have a new domain if I did... *goes for word with rona, cackling insanely* Feedback : yes, please send your opinions! Rating : PG-13?? R??.... Warnings: Depressiveness heaven!!! Also, please, please, please do not take my story! I will skin you if you do! It's MINE! If I see it on your site, I will not be too happy, espescially if you are claiming it is yours!! So don't. *^-^* Enjoy! |