Question 103

Do any of the atheists reading this attend any kind of regular religious service (voluntarily or otherwise)?

• My wife goes to a Methodist church about once a month, and I go with her two or three times a year for special occasions. (Rod Monsees)

• Weddings, christenings, funerals. I still remember a lot of the prayers, 20 years after becoming an atheist. Amazing the crap my brain collects. (Niall McAuley #36)

• No. I've been to church for two weddings in the past seven years. One of the weddings was my son's and the other was my son-in-law's sister. I no longer attend church funerals because I consider them barbaric. That last religious memorial service I attended was my father's twenty-three years ago. I would like to keep it that way. (Liz Huth #658)

• The original question scrolled off my newsfeed, so I'm jumping in down the thread. The answer is "yes," on the few occasions that I have been invited to either a wedding or a funeral. I would not go to a church for Christmas, Easter, or one of those specifically religious holidays. This is a matter of simple respect; I'm sure the religionists would prefer for my atheist self not to come into their "consecrated" places. Also, I suspect that watching a genuine religious celebration would not be a whole lot of fun anyway.

  Weddings aren't so bad, I ignore the inane theism blather and think about how happy the couple is going to be that night in their hotel room. But funerals in churches can be pretty sickening. A few years back, my oldest best friend died at age 39. He was unquestionably an atheist all his life; he never spoke of churches except in tones of deepest sarcasm and cynicism. Well, that God damned preacher made this big long horrible speech about God and the afterlife, and he even had the gall to claim that my friend had been a Christian believer in all that nonsense, which I can tell you absolutely for sure that he was not. I got so mad I wanted to get up and slug that bastard, or at least yell at him and tell him off. But I was rather in shock - they had a big picture of him up on their podium, his senior-year high school picture, I remembered that picture well, I stared at it through the whole miserable funeral service. And besides I didn't want to make a big ugly fuss in front of his father and the other older relatives, of course.

  Remembering that disgusting lying funereal sermon is enough to reawaken all my contempt for churches and their proprietors, all right. Those contemptible bastards. What comes to my mind are the words of Jesus of Nazareth himself, specifically Matthew 23:33: "Hypocrites! Spawn of vipers! How shall you escape the damnation of Hell?" (W. Kiernan)

• Not since my parents finally relented and allowed me to stay home some time after declaring I was an atheist (at around age twelve), have I gone to a regular religious service.

  Hell, it's bad enough going to weddings and funerals and hearing some of the babble that is spewed.

  At a recent funeral, the minister seemed to me to be insulting the deceased, comparing him to one of Jesus's followers who wasn't destined to do great things or be involved in the top decisions, a follower not a leader, etc. I can't remember the name of the follower he was comparing him to. The minister also called the deceased a simple man who at the church meetings didn't speak out much, etc. (not like the minister whose jaws were flapping for over half an hour of a 45 minute funeral service). My eyes glazed over rather quickly at that funeral and my mind was off in another world, or I would report more about his babble.

  I remember one time I was at a Roman Catholic wedding and the priest, who had just been presiding at a funeral, starting yapping about how the funeral had been such a happy occasion (I figured either nobody liked the guy and were glad he was dead, or, it was because they thought he was in heaven). I seem to recall him implying that something in a wedding made it sad occasion (and here everybody thought priests had no idea about marriage :-)) but I lost his "logical" train of thought well before this. May have been something about the two are now one. Whatever. Most confusing. (Keith Brannen #713)

• Last time I was in a church was last year at xmas mass with my sister and brother in law and nephew. I actually like going into churches, as long as they are neat architecturally (read: old and gothic.) Now that I consider myself an atheist and former catholic, when I go into a church, I can't help but get this feeling like people in the church KNOW I'm not a catholic, know that I'm not one of them -- I liken it to the scenes in wildlife documentaries when the antelope wanders into a savannah where there are a dozen jackals lying in wait for an opportunity to leap on their prey. I'm just paranoid that way, and I've seen too many nature shows and slasher movies ;-)

  I just love old church style architecture too much to say never again. In fact, one of these days, I hope to get to the Vatican City to take in the art and architecture. (Dan Chaney #1144)

• My family stopped going to church (Unitarian) when I was around six, so I've hardly been there since - even back then it was pretty sporadic. I only go now for weddings, christenings and funerals. However, I do continue to do the Wiccan holiday/esbat rituals even though I don't believe in the God/Goddess. It's a good excuse to burn some incense, light a few candles, think happy thoughts, and most importantly, quaff some good vino :) (Robyn Robibnikoff #1557)

• Ironically my cousin and mother have been pressuring me the last few days about going to church. I don't know why but all of a sudden they want to go. Since I have not come out of the closet with my disbelief I was luckily able to get out of it this time because of my eye operation, yet they are waiting for me to go in about two weeks when I won't be able to use that excuse.

  I would rather not go, and have had to give in a few times because of the feeling of rejection I feel my family would have if I denied their beliefs. I hate going, yet I don't know if I will go or not, or if even this time I will come out of the closet and let them know. The only others that do know is one of my cousins and a good friend that is also an atheist, and he has been helping me become more comfortable with the rejection and degradation I will go through with my family. I guess until I do come out of the closet I will probably give in and go and have to sit and listen to all the bullshit. (Ernest Dumenigo #1316)

• Unil recently, my girlfriend lived with her parents (recent college grad). When I made the long-distance trip to visit her, I went with her to church services. It was often very awkward. I almost had to literally bite my tongue at times to stop from making a sarcastic or angry retort to comments made by the pastor. Since she is rather devout, making the comments would have been a -bad- idea.

  I will occasionally go to a local Methodist church (pretty liberal). I am fascinated by religion, and I find the services interesting. When they stick to the Golden Rule aspects of their faith, as this church often does, I find the service almost humanistic. There's a definite empathetic "care about your fellow man" vibe to the place. Being a Christian church, however, it is impossible to avoid the "Jesus died for you, we're not worthy" aspect, which turns me off. I can't take it in large doses, but I will go from time to time. (The Jester #774)

• I used to when I was younger, of course, but the church has since requested that I not attend - appearantly, I asked too many embarassing questions. :) (Eric Franklin #1532)