2.25 "Cat Fight Club"
Um at first we had hyde and fez and jackie playing monopoly, and hyde compliments jackie (yay!) and fez kept tippign the board over, and then kelso and laurie came into the basement... laurie kissed him in an obvious way and started insulting Jackie. (hyde said something about kelso having a twig in his shorts.. it was funny!) Well, jackie started insulting back with calling laurie the 'community chest' and ended up with something like "yah well your shoes are horrible!", at which point laurie grinned smugly and pranced upstairs. Then they all sat in silence and fez tipped the board over again. Roll theme song. Then it's hyde polishing his boots, and jackie's there. She tells him she's really annoyed by laurie and hyde tells her not to let laurie get to her - that she feeds on her anger... and says she has to be 'zen'. Well she agrees to get lessons in being zen, and he starts by telling her to shine his boots (hehe). Then we have donna, eric, and kelso playing basketball.. eric asks kelso if its true that he's coming over for dinner (invited by laurie) and kelso says he is, but donna and eric say it won't be a good idea (in fact, donna asks if she can come to dinner to watch Red's reaction). Well kelso says he's gonna come anyway... Then we have laurie and kitty inside talking, and kitty's baking (surprise surprise!). Laurie's saying she's an adult and stuff and she'd like kelso to come to dinner, and kitty says its a bad idea and talks about red getting mad and how kelso has no future at ALL. Then downstairs we see hyde teaching jackie 'zen', and getting her to say 'whatever' and 'thats cool' like he does... then Donna comes in and asks jackie if she wants to go to the mall, and jakice replies with 'tahts cool' and when donna gets confused and asks if that was a yes or a no, jackie gets all happy and hyde congratulates her. Well then we flash to that night, and everyone is eating dinner when kelso shows up with a big box of candy and... beer! He leans over to give the candy to laurie, but eric takes it and tries to pretend *HE* invited kelso for dinner, but kelso doesn't catch on and instead goes over to red and gives him a six-pack of beer, but one's missing (obviously he drank it) and he tells red its because its just a five-pack.. while red is getting mad at kelso, hyde tries to take a beer but red gets it back and then finally when kelso leaves the whole table is left in silnce, then suddenly the sound of a can of beer being opened and we se Hyde sitting with his hands under the table. Red looks at him sternly and hyde hands the beer to him, saying "beer, red?". He takes it. Ads. Then its late that night and we're down in the basement, smoke everywhere. Eric's talking about something and we go to fez and hyde and then jackie's in kelso's spot, and she's laughing her head off. eric says something like no more for jackie, and she triies to do the 'whatever' thing, but hyde just looks at her critically - she's certainly not zen when sh'es high, whereas hyde is typically calm... Then hyde and kitty are upstairs in the living room talking, and thats when red has his little space fantasy (its 1997, and everyone's got robots and jetpacks). well kelso and laurie are there and begging for him to lend them more money, and fez is the family butler-robot. Ads. Then i assume its the next day, and fez, kelso, and hyde are in the basement. They're talking, and eric comes in saying red wants to talk to kelso - who says red should apologize, because after all he brought him a five-pack! Then kelso goes to the garage where red sits him down on a stool in the middle of the area and cloeses the garage door. He keeps saying he's gonna kill him and stuff, and kelso takes him seriously. Back in the basement, jackie and Donna arrive and talk a bit until Laurie comes downstairs. She insults jackie, who keeps looking at her magazine and says 'whatever' in perfect zen-style. Hyde grins proudly. Then laurie says something again and jackie says 'its cool'. She's doing really well until laurie says something about her not being able to keep kelso, and jackie leaps over the couch and tackles her! Well everyone else crowds around and you can hear them fighting on the other side of the couch. Donna tries to join, but laurie bites her so she just watches. Finally, Jackie gets up and laurie reveals a black eye before running off. They all congratulate her and Donna's still amazed that laurie actually *bit* her. jackie apologizes to hyde because it was very 'zen' of her. Hyde says not to be, and says something ot the effect of 'zen only goes so far- then violence works perfectly.' then fez says he's really turned on. There;s a bit more after that, just kelso getting scared by red and stuff, but nothing extremely important. I think the end credits are laurie complaining about her black eye, but i never got a chance to watch it for a second time so i've forgotten.