Simpsons Quotes

Hey there and welcome! The simpsons are great, they are sooo funny and just to show you how funny they are I've made this quotes page, just for you! Enjoy all the halarious quotes!

• "Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!" Homer simpson

• "I think its ironic that for once dad's butt prevented the release of toxic gas" Bart Simpson

• Moe: Say, Barn. Uh, remember when I said I'd have to send away to NASA to calculate your bar tab?
  Barney: Oh ho, oh yeah. We all had a good laugh, Moe.
  Moe: The results came back today

• "Ah, sweet pity. Where would my love life have been without it?"  Homer Simpson

• "Milhouse, knock him down if he's in your way! Jimbo, Jimbo, go for the face! Ralph Wiggum lost his shin guard! Hack the bone! Hack the bone!" Lisa

• "Yes! I am a citizen! Now which way to the welfare office? I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I work, I work" Apu

• "That's it! You people have stood in my way long enough. I'm going to clown college!"  Homer Simpson

• "You should listen to your heart, and not the voices in your head" Marge

• "Please do not offer my god a peanut" Apu

• "Well, that's odd ... I've just robbed a man of his livelihood, and yet I feel strangely empty. Tell you what, Smithers - have him beaten to a pulp." Burns

• "I am so smart, I am so smart, s-m-r-t....I mean s-m-A-r-t."  Homer Simpson

• "I have caught word that a child is using his imagination and I've come to put a stop to it" Skinner

• "Oh, everything's too damned expensive these days. This Bible cost 15 bucks! And talk about a preachy book! Everybody's a sinner! Except this guy."  Homer simpson

• "That's where I saw the Leprchaun. He tells me to burn things!" Ralph Wiggum

• "See ya in court, Simpson. Oh, and bring that evidence with ya, otherwise, I got no case and you'll go scot-free" Wiggum
   

• "It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day." Homer Simpson

• "Me fail English? That's unpossible" Ralph Wiggum

• "No, no, no, Lisa. If adults don't like their jobs, they don't go on strike. They just go in every day and do it really half-assed." Homer Simpson

• "I've always admired car owners and I hope to be one myself as soon as I finish paying off mother. She insists I pay her retroactively for the food I ate as a child" Skinner

• Mr. Burns: You're fired.
  Marge: You can't fire me just because I'm married. I'm gonna sue the pants off of you.
  Mr. Burns: You don't have to sue me to get my pants off.

• "Don't eat me. I have a wife and kids. Eat them." (to aliens who abducted Simpson family) Homer Simpson

• "I am the Lizard Queen!" Lisa

• "Can't you people take the law into your own hands? I mean, we can't be policing the entire city! " Wiggum
  
   

• Mr. Burns: So, Smithers, what are you doing this weekend. Something gay, I expect?
  Smithers: What?!!
  Mr. Burns: You know, light and fancy free! Mothers, lock up your daughters! Smithers is on the town!
  Smithers: Oh! Of course

• Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so that it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use." Homer simpson

• "There's no such thing as a soul. It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the boogeyman or Michael Jackson" Bart Simpson

• "Ah, Monday morning. Time to pay for your two days of debauchery, you hungover drones." Burns

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