| The Journey Continues...... NOW it is June 1999.......... |
| This part of my testimony of my journey to the Promised Land begins in March of 1999. I had just recently begun chatting with an Internet friend and was given permission by her to ask her tough questions in order to hold her accountable for some strongholds she was seeking to overcome. But after a couple of chats, God tapped me on the shoulder and said, "EXCUSE ME!!!! Cynthia, shame on you, shame, shame!!! YOU are NOT willing to answer those same questions to ME and you expect your friend to answer them to you?? I don't think so!!!" Did I detect a tone of sarcasm from God?? SO.....I had to take a few steps backwards and look at my life before I could continue asking my friend the tough questions. |
Well if you have ever stepped back and taken a long look at your own heart with God.....you know what I was up against. My struggle with God went on for about three weeks. Actually, HE was not the one struggling, it was me who was doing the struggling. I was the only one struggling....you know, giving up my stubborn will and turning my heart over to Him.....So, I resolved on Saturday BEFORE Easter Sunday that I did NOT want to be the same after THIS resurrection Sunday as I was at that moment. I wasn't sure what God was going to do....but I was tired of struggling.......I did NOT want to continue like I was. During one of our hymns that morning during worship (I sing in our choir), I decided that SINCE God created the world by simply speaking it into existence, He could certainly create in me a growl so that I would know when I was truly hungry. You see, I had been eating when I felt hungry saying that I didn't get a growl....HA!!! WHO was I kidding??? Certainly, NOT GOD!!! Only me...I had me convinced I was eating "obediently." NO MORE.....I decided at that point that I was NOT eating without a growl. I could not trust myself. I needed a signal.....a growl. Friends, BEFORE I left church that morning I got my first jewel. I was invited for Easter Sunday lunch at a friend's home with her family. I enjoyed being with this family.....grandma, mom, dad and kids!!! GOOD thing my tummy had growled just before the service was over.....heehee!!! This is a home I used to be in often...I had not been in their home in over a year, probably closer to two. GOD IS GOOD!!!!! Several days passed...this was great!!! OBEDIENCE!!! WOW OH WOW!!!! What a marvelous feeling. Then, I stumbled, stumbled again....YIKES!!!! Got some emails that turned my stumbling around and I fasted for 2 days....didn't plan the fast, just DID IT. Prayed for my heart to be turned totally toward God. Came off the fast excited about being obedient!!! This obedience lasted for over two months.....then I made the mistake of getting on the scales. I RARELY weighed, but I did weigh about two weeks into this walk of obedience. And eight weeks later, when I got on the scales again -- I had not lost even an ounce. Well, as you would probably guess, the enemy had his field day with that........I was devastated. I wish I could tell you that I got past this ploy of the enemy's....but I didn't.........I kept hearing God say, "Are you going to trust Me in this????" I wanted to say, "YES, Lord, I WILL!!!" I said the words, but I didn't live them. ...I fell and couldn't get up..... The way seems long and weary...but I WILL NOT GIVE UP!!!! I KNOW my God can deliver me, actually, I KNOW my God HAS provided deliverance for me -- I must simply walk in that deliverance!!!! \o/\o/\o/ Okay....it is NOW, June 2001, and I finally have an update to post. My journey continues, part 3.......... |
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| Created 03/01 Updated 07/07/01 |
| Scrolling marquee "stolen" from Sharon (glory2Hisname), without whose expertise my pages would be dull and boring..... Thanks, my dear friend!!! |
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