| //.../ "May God Have Mercy" |
| Credo en unum deum patrem omnipotentem factorem coeli et terrae... I used to hate mass, when Cyn first brought me here. I didn't have consideration for the frivolous things: velvet-cushioned kneeling benches, olive wood rosaries, these things didn't factor into the basic, primal needs for survival to which I had become accustomed. The sole objective for years had been to stay alive by any means necessary. A little food, adequately clean water, shelter from foul weather, these things were necessary. Reciting the Nicene Creed in Latin had never been a priority; hell, it had never even made the list. Things change when you see death for the first time. Things change drastically when this death is at your own hands. He was a vampire, hissing his last breaths, and staring. He was tearing holes in me with his eyes, at the end of his miserable life. It was all he could do to try and break me with guilt, to needle his way into my heart, into my brain. He wanted that scene to be etched in my memory forever, and God but it is. But I feel no guilt. All I remember is the feeling of my staff wedged between his ribs and into his black heart. All I could think of was that he was a minion of hell, and I was his exterminator. Such has been my purpose ever since. Suddenly God and I had something in common. I could relate to Him, even though I was doing all the dirty work. I doubted whether he had ever thrilled in the cartilaginous creak of a splitting sternum, but for once, we had something to talk about. The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want... Sheep don't slaughter. I do. And God do I want to. I amended the prayers in my head. I justified my means, my delight in the vanquishing of evil. I was triumphant, night after night. I read the old testament every evening as I prepared for the continuation of my war. I was like an angel, sitting at the right hand of a vengeful God. A God who had come to me for help. I was answering his prayers. Some people find God. God found me. I do his bidding, and I make no demands of Him. I only ask that he continue to employ me. God, I love my job. |
| //.../End |