ENTER MY WORLD

Mystic River

June 10 2005

Mystic river that soars away my sorrow and drowns them as they deepen through the scalastic streams that sweeps the nights to the shallow dawns.

Awaken the breath that one may lastly take, awaken the light that has surpass through and through the timeless shack which vintage the seedless yards of grave.

Take thee dagger and raise up high and be proud that you've passed by law the saviour of tomorrow.

No more torture, no more cries but only more joy and gracious gesture that moves the souls that each that walk upon thee once and lonely grave.

One life ends that a new begins and no more pain to gain for whether how hard the heart may break but to thee will survive it all.

By: Sina Him

May 24, 2005

No tears

There may not be no more tears but my heart still breaks a million of pieces, a million of ways.

Why again must you break my heart this way? Is not my love for you enough to carry you through or are you sick and tired of the way things are?

Break once, just a shatter piece of the heart. break twice, half of my soul you just riped apart. break three times is a charm because you just caused me to cry no more.

The history that were there has burned into flames the memories that were made are nothing but a seed. Had enough time to grow but not enough to grow and beautify because all you ever wanted to be free of the obligation that you had to me.

Shed no more tears, tell me no more lies for once be honest with me and show me that you can let a love as pure as this go by.

by: Sina

A love that I can feel

Lost within and torn apart between heartbreaks after heartaches that it saddens why I was ever ready to fall in love again.

Pushed away by sorrow and tearful cries that I can no longer have a love that I can feel.

Can no longer have a love that I can touch, a love that I can see.

Whats hidden within no one cant see nor feel the emotions that shatters the glasses that pierced my soul.

Although what I felt for him was real and true but what hurt most was that he didnt feel my love and I couldnt feel a love of any other.

What's real? A love that has been cast away a shore and found again. Or a love that has always been there but you just couldnt feel it, couldnt see it but never knew that it was there until that love was lost.

By: Sina aka Shortay

Novelty Pain

May 21, 2005

Distance to distance I just can't excape the pressure of leaving, the pressure of growing, the pressure of cries.

Tried to move far from the hurt of it all but the novelty pain just keeps on coming back like the foreshadows that hides beyond.

Not knowing that it exist until that very day when he left me in cold blooded lying around the corner of the street of main.

Have I known he would do that??? I do not know but what I knew that my sorrows became so deepen that it sores and I would never knew that my life would hang by the thread.

Shattering pieces of glassed that pierced right through every aching body and all my eyes would ever wander was to the stars and thought. How and why I ever got to this side of the road.

Will he forgive me or will he take my life now? The novelty pain of it all is that I still indeed need him. I still indeed care for him as much as he hates me.

The questions is why but hardly no body knew the answer and so I closed my eyes with outmost misery and regrets to my lifes conquest.

by: Sina Him

heart throbb

february 23 2005

heart throbbin pain caused by you that I just dont know what to do because knowing that I cant have you the way that I dreamt to is forever meant to remain a dream.

Unrealistic scenes may seem to be unreal now that I know that you just dont feel the same way that I feel towards you.

If knowing in the end is all pain and all that I ever gain through is to lose something so precious then I would just throw them all and lose all.

because I will not know what to do if I was to lose you. If you have found that somebody new and although the friendship you say we have is cool then how come what I say hasnt been accounted for.

The things I do..is all for you but only want one thing from you is for you to cure your body, mind and soul.

Now is that too much to ask, I think not. It a heart throbb why? Because I can no longer do the things that I used to do because it will all seem so wrong but how come I know that in my heart it wills so right that I know that its in the right place.

You were a godsent and I still dont you why you still keep up with me. From the begining to the very end.

To in conclusion to as it may seem I have overally decided to say I rather have you as a friend to not have you at all.

By: Sina Him
aka Shortay

Will You Marry Me?
2004-30-10

I rowed and rowed then bowed below to sit upon a wonderful soul he looks at me with his great blue eyes and glides his hands down my outer thighs then reach for my hands to caress his lips and a kiss we shared with the lock of our hips.

A night to remember during the month of september that we shared a bond so strong that my heart almost sang a song then I knew nothing was wrong.

It was long but yet so slow that it torn up my thong that it started to glow with lights of green beneath the screen.

I shout, I screamed of joyful and amazement that this night just might be the last sight I any other soul because that was when he held my hand up high and said Will you marry me and I said Yes I will marry you.

By:Sina Him

LONLINESS
2004-09-15

Loniless that embarks my soul with the outmost grief, that sometimes I cry when I see everyone smiling with the betterhalf but why can't I be with someone that means as much to me.

Feeling so alone, alone in the dark with no speck of light, but all that I could feel is the cold skin of my hands and feet. The shivers that comes and goes but will never end because it feels like winter when its only 22 degree.

Why do I feel this way? How did I become so alone that no one is here to find me or guide me to the right direction of my stars. Where is my guardian that protects me from all harm? I'm beginning to lose sight of what's real and what's not.

I disagree with everything that the world has to offer because my heart just came bitter from the moment everyone left me so alone in this underground grave of a shaft.

Haven't seen the light for half of my life and now I see no one, I can't even see my self because the effect of lonliness.

No one to be there, no one to love or to touch, no one to hear or to feel, no one to count or depend on when I can't even do it myself because I am forever blind.

By: Sina Him

TODAY I SEE
2004-08-13

Today I see the world so clear that every time the cloaks come near I wander off to the sense of direction that the path had shown me the road of imperfection.

Every route that I must take, I must make the best of what's to come for whether it's to overcome a simple mistake.

But it is the intake of life, the beauty that sorrounds the living grounds of breathing walking souls.

Believing in the world that it can be so bold, that it holds the pains of sorrow that's been fortold.

Love is marely just a gift that is blessed by our lord, for us to cherish and believe the will power of faith because when it comes down to being a soulmate you will pass away to your unfailing fate.
By: Sina Him

I SMILED, I CRIED
2004-07-26

I smiled when I met you
I smiled when you held my hands and held me tight
I smiled when you said "I love you".

I smiled when you gave me flowers,
it showed how much you cared.
I smiled when you shown me the bear,
because you knew it was something I adored.
I smiled everytime that we called each other
on the phone.
I smiled when my heart beated with yours.

Now I cried because you have left me
to deal with your pain but all I gained was tears of rain.
I cried when you broke my heart in two
and said that it could never work out.
I cried when I heard the news that you
have moved on when all I thought about was you.
I cried each day and night just to wonder if we
would ever have a future but I dont ever want
to wonder, I want to know.
I cried when I seen you in pain and I cant
do anything to releave the rain that I caused
in your heart.
I cried when I realize that I had to let you go
because that is how much I really love you.

I smiled, I cried when I releaved the pain in your eyes
but it still teared me up inside because I can never stop
the rain in my eyes.

Until I know that you are forever happy and its forever
important for me that you be happy.
I can forever rest in peace knowing that you are happy
instead of wondering if you will ever stay happy.

By: Sina Him

MY HEART IS IN YOU
2004-07-24

Now that times has passed by I still cant forget the very first day that you can I have met you.

I still cant forget the image of you and I. Knowing that now that things are heading to a rocky road for each of us and will have to give up one of the most important thing that makes us happy. Just so that we can succeed in our path and walk accordingly to the way our destiny is planned.

No matter where we are in life. My heart is always content and will always be with you. My heart is in you.

I have never doubted my feelings or affection towards you, nor have I ever gave up the idea of being with you. However the timing wasn't always right because of the constant gesture of wanting to escape, for whether its escaping from the life and responsibility or for whether its escaping from a love that is bound to be hurt in the end.

However things may end and seem like the right thing to do but I'm glad that im true to you and have only loved you.

I keep my hopes, dreams and faith you as you set your life to your happiness and I will forever be grateful that you have loved me.

My heart is in you until eternity.

By: Sina Him

Cries
2004-06-18

As I read your page all I can do is just go into tear
because what I fear im loving a person that I just cannot have.
I wish that I didnt have to move to another area because then
I woule be right near you once again.
I wish that I didnt make the decision of dropping out of school
because that was all we have to see each other everyday without
missing one another each minute of the day.
I wish that we didnt have to grow distant with one another because
then our love would grow and expand more then what we had and if
you would hear the words that are flowing to your ears..until this
day im still madly in love with you.

Although you have broken my heart into two from the moment you said
you can never make me happy anymore but just to point things out
you are so very wrong...its not just the moment of spending time with you that makes me happy, its the thought of you calling me baby that marks the words that I am yours and no body's other.

The day I betrayed your love and trust was the outmost regret of my lovelife but losing you is the outmost mistake of my entire lovelife.
As I sit and still staring at your page on asianavenue. I can do nothing but wonder what might of happen if everything had changed and didnt go according to the way it was written, given a second chance to make things right but to you nothing ever feels right since the day
your mother passed away.

I missed her dearly, the dinner we had together will always be cherished and the way she fixed my sweater as if I was one of her own..not only you that loved her but I did too but im sorry that I didnt get the chance to say my good bye.

Kept as a secret in my heart I had always loved you even when we tried to move on, Ive said Id love another but I was simply trying to fool my heart thinking that I can love another but im just cheating my heart.

The glimpse that I had of you each time that im there downtown, I will always think of you as my betterhalf, as the one I cherished and cared most of all about. But to you, your in every step of denial, the feelings you had for me are so very real and refuse to even think twice and I probably put you there from the moment I said "I do" to another.

My marriage is over but my love for you is always in content but as I sit hear, I cry because now I will never know how it would feel to grow old with you by my side.

By:Sina

LET ME BE
2003-08-01

Leave me alone and let me tender and refix the marks that you've left me to linger in pain.

The thought of your voice just puts me to sleep and wanting to yell out for air. You've teared me apart from limb to limb and now your telling me its for my own good.

Let me melt down in my trendous blood and suffer alone because it was my wrong deed to give you my all and to let you stepped on it over again and again I should of fallen in love with you from the start.....let me be as it may because I will never forget the painful memories that you've inscripted in my heart.

FOREVER AND ALWAYS
2003-07-31

A love so sweet as a smell of a rose, our love was at first sight and had grown stronger and still continued to grow.

The trust, the honesty is ever so pleasant to feel that you've cared so much for me as your better half.

Although we've been in shooked up situation in the past but we've hanged on by a thread and lingered on to it and that is how I told you would stick by my side forever and always.
For whether as lovers or for whether as friends.....you've shown me the world and what it had to offer in God opinion of life.

You've pointed out the light that cleared my dark grey sky and no matter what kind of sticky situation we might get into, I will love you forever and always.

By: Sina Him

IF ONLY YOU KNEW
2003-07-31

The passion that rised within my feelings towards you is ticking with a time bomb but having to be afraid of rejection is totally the case.

would you like me, if I told you I followed you around, would you hate me if I told you I totally liked the way you sound, would you love me if I told you I wanted you to call my own.

If only you knew...that my love for you is sincere and true. Pure and white just a fresh snow falling in and out of grounds.

If only you knew the pain I felt for you when you've lost somebody so dear to you but how will you know that I love you and would go heaven on earth searching for you still you wouldnt know because you only my secret love.

FAMOUS QUOTES

LOVE

"I feel it when I sorrow most:
It is better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all."
ALFRED, LORD TENNYSON

FAITH

"Faith is the subtle chain
The binds us to the Infinite: the voice
Of a deep life within."
ELIZABETH OAKES SMITH

DREAMS

"We are such stuff
As dreams are made on; and our little life
Is round with a sleep."
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE

"Dreams aren't perfect;
They come true;
They don't come free."

MY PERSONAL QUOTE

"Without a heart there is no love
Without love there is no life
Without life there in no beginning."

"Reach for your dreams and succeed;
grasp the reality of life
than you shall proceed."

"What wishing brings; hope will grow
into faith that lover's spring
beyond the Angel's wings."

"Lose one friend,
Lose all friends,
Lose yourself."

"No more wondering of what will be,
It is time to know of what could be."

"For the sorrows that grows and grows,
Only with time that sorrows will slow and slow
Until you will feel sorrows no more."

"every man has his own destiny:
The impemtive is to follow it,
to accept it,no matter where it leads him."

NOVELS I'VE WRITTEN:
A future within a dream

Unfailing fate (recent)

FUTURE NOVELS:
World of Sorrows

COMICS:
Angel fighter's of Heaven