-Janet Coleman
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
-Andy Rooney
The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.
-George Carlin
If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door.
-Paul Beatty
In life, it's not who you know that's important, it's how your wife found out.
-Joey Adams