You know useful stuff about tanks and planes
A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase
Bathroom lines are 80% shorter
Old friends don't care if you've lost or gained weight
When surfing through channels you don't have to stop on every shot of someone crying
You can go to the bathroom alone
You can kill your own food
You see the humor in "Terms of Endearment"
Wedding plans take care of themselves
Cleaning the toilet is optional
None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry
You don't have to shave below your neck
You don't have to curl up next to a big, hairy guy every night
You never have to worry about other's feelings
If you're 34 and single, no one notices
Car mechanics tell you the truth
You don't care if someone doesn't notice your new haircut
One mood all the time
You can admire Clint Eastwood without having to starve yourself to look like him
Wedding dress $2000, tux rental $100
The remote is yours and yours alone
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected
If something mechanical doesn't work you can bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room
You think the idea of punting that small, ankle-biting dog is funny
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness
Flowers and duct tape fix everything