A week later I had set up a high tech lab around the bowl, the smell had become potent by now so I wore bio suit to protect myself. I had also installed a large telescope, seeing that this was deeper than I had ever imagined. I began seeing nebulae, Universes within Universes, Black holes�I focused my interest on one specific planet�.it was green and blue�I focused in on it to find it was much like earth. I zoomed in closer to actually see formations�my god�structures�this was no joke�THERE WAS LIFE IN THIS POONIVERSE!
I invited scientists into the small bathroom, as they call cramped in I sealed the sound proof door and allowed tourists in, they paid good money to see men in bio suits looking at poo�David would tell them the story of how it came to be�As we discussed the potential of this discovery a small object flew out of the bowl and stuck to one of my colleagues lips. My Colleague began to speak �WE SEND YOU GREETINGS OF PEACE EARTHLINGS, WE ARE THE SHITLINGS!� �WHAT SHOULD WE SAY NEXT, IS IT STILL RECORDING? WELL TURN IT OFF GIVE ME SOME TIME TO THINK. IS IT OFF? WHAT THE HELL I SAID TURN IT OFF�O��.I was amazed, they had intelligence, they could even hear us perhaps. I told one of my colleagues to get a straw�I had an Idea. When pushed away the crowds of tourists and returned with a straw I told him to put it in the water. He did. I told him to speak into the straw and say what I say. �WE ARE THE EARTHLINGS, WE TOO COME IN PEACE AND LOVE AND WE WISH TO EARN YOUR KNOWLEDGE�. One of the Tourists outside realised we had discovered something important and began telling the crowd, they all began to rush the sound proof door and not even David could control them. They began banging, the scientist with the straw gasped and sucked in some of the pooniverse, and began vomiting. I screamed through the sound proof door but the tourists couldn�t hear me. I opened the door and they began pushing in, One tourists made it in and as he did another probe shot out from the toilet and landed on his lip. He spoke �YOU HAVE DESTROYED A PORTION OF OUR GALAXY, MY GREAT ANCESTOR HAD SENT YOU A MESSAGE OF PEACE AND LOVE AND NOW YOU HAVE SET OUR WORLD IN DISTRESS, WE KNEW WE THE SHITLINGS COULD NOT TRUST YOU GIANTS! WE WILL DESTROY YOU, WE HAD PREPARED FOR WAR! How did that sound was that good? What do you mean its still recording�well shut it, it wont shut? Well forget it prepare to launch the missile� The Tourists Gasped and began to Run. �You want me to do the countdown? Yeah well you do look sexy in those clothes, well tonight we will go out for dinner after we launch the�.ready 10�.9�.� Something had to be done and fast. �5�4� The tourists began screaming and running for their lives. �3�2�� I reached over to the toilet�.and I FLUSHED! �1��� I slammed the lid shut. �chhhhhhhhhkkkkkkkkk� It is over�I sat on the lid with relief�The scientists wondered out of the bathroom slowly, I walked out also, and I helped David up as he had almost been trampled by the tourists. I said �David, how do you feel?� and he said �I think I need to take a shit�
--By Abe
