By Abrahim Esker
�That looks like an ass� �How about this one?� �That looks like an Ass too� ��and this one?�� The Doctor snapped his fingers to bring the patients attention to the ink blot picture he was showing him, the patient�s attention had focused on a small insect on the floor�He wanted to pick it up�I wanted to pick it up�He thought it was pretty�I thought it was SMALL�Whats that Noise Hi Said..Hey�HEY�HEY , Hi Looked up�Hand what could I say? Hit looked like one too��It looks like one too�� so did the bug�on the floor�Hi Like it�Hi Like it�Hi Like it�PICK IT UP�MY ARMS�I CANT MOVE MY ARMS!!!�.Hi�This is�I am�He Is�Hi�m TIED UP�WHAT IS THIS JACKET!!!! GET ME OUT�GET ME OUT�YOU�YOU�The Therapist looked at me with fear in his eyes his eye looked like one too�hand hi wanted to hold it�hi wanted to�BITE IT!!!!! �No�NO, SIT DOWN�NO!!!!!!!�
�David�David�Wake up man�You fell asleep on the toilet again�you gotta flush it, its gonna stink up the whole house�� David murmured silently��Owned�� As he flushed the toilet�I left the door after I heard the flush�It was a beautiful day out, it was raining�and misty outside�you couldn�t see much further than a few hundred feet before it all faded away�it was relaxing�as David left the bathroom�I was looking outside the patio door when David left the house to take a breather outside�perhaps to escape the smell he had produced in the bathroom�He asked me after a few moments if I wanted to take a walk, I replied in the affirmative and we set off into the fog�The Soothing sound of the breeze and the smell of dew was relaxing yet full relaxation could not be reached with the constant intervals of interruptions from David�s noisy buttocks��What did you eat man?� I said as I continued to walk a little further away from him��I don�t know I had these peanuts and I just cant stop farting�� �At Least its clearing some of the fog away� I said with a laugh as we both chuckled�We continued to walk�I asked David �So are you going to quit eating peanuts?� There was no reply�I turned around�the Fog had become thicker and David was no where in sight��DAVID?� I said loudly�Once again there was no reply�
I started to walk briskly back up the sidewalk�there was nothing�I started to walk in the other direction and soon my walk turned into a run�and soon my run turned into a frantic search for David�suddenly I came to the end of the road�and there stood an ominous cement structure�cold and dead�and silent�I wandered in through the gate�perhaps David was here�it was interesting�the parking lot was full�but there was no sign of life�I pushed open the doors to the bulding and slowly walked in��Hello?� I said��Is anyone here?� suddenly I heard something loud fall like a tray�It came from the Hallway to my left from the barren receptionists counter�My footsteps seemed much louder with the complete silence that seemed to own the building�Own�that reminds me�David must have gotten lost in the fog�Maybe it was him in the other room��David is that you?� I said mildly�The silence persisted but soon the reply came in the form of a loud cry and moan�I was scared�I clenched my fists tightly and continued to walk towards the end of the hallway�I was almost to the room the sound had come from�The door seemed to be open�I began to walk more slowly�suddenly I stopped short right before the door and put my back against the wall�my heart was beating fast�BUGbugBUGbugBUGbug�As I had prepared myself to turn into the room my heart accelerated��Ok.�� I said to myself��1�2�3!� SUDDENLY SOMEONE GRABBED MY SHOULDER STOPPING ME FROM ENTERING THE ROOM, I SHOUTED AND TURNED FLINGING MY FIST TOWARDS THE BEAST!!!!!
�DAVID!!!!!� I said as I saw David had been the one who had grabbed me�he replied �Man I was looking all over the place for you�do you know where we are? This is the Mental Institute�� Another cry and Moan came from the room, extremely loud since we were so close �Holy Shit, What the hell was that�� whispered David��I don�t know man� I replied �I thought it was you before� We Walked into the Doorway�David slightly behind me�There was nothing�the room was empty��AHHHHHHHHHH� I turned around�That SCREAM!
�David was gone�I ran outside of the room, I could see David�s shoe left at the end of the hallway pointing me in the direction of the corridor �He must have been dragged� into, I ran back into the room to find some kind of weapon�but there was nothing�So I took the pillow from the bed�It would have to do!�I ran into the Corridor�the lights were all off and there were no windows�the corridor was dark��DAVID!� I screamed�There was a muffled sound�I followed it devastating speed�Suddenly A light flickered on from a room in front of me to the right�It lit only a Cube of the hallway�I looked to the walk where the light had shown from the opened doorway�Shadow�2 Shadowy hands had shown�Suddenly they came together�I walked towards the right wall to see better the hand puppet show being displayed on the left�The Hands suddenly came together and formed what looked like a butterly�I whispered outloud �A Butterfly? �A BUTT!!!� Came the Loud reply in an English accent followed by a growl and a mad laugh which was too long for its own good��Who said that?� I said��HE DID!� Came the reply in a German accent��Who did?� I said��I DID� came a Texan voice��Who are you?� I said�The Reply came after a while��HI!� now this voice had a strange Bobcat Golthwait growl to it�I said �Hello?� Suddenly there was silence�and then in a low pitch in a demonic growl whoever it was said �Hi�� It was frightening�I didn�t know who this nut was�and what has he done with �David? Are you in there?� I said��YOU TALK TO HUS!� �You?� I wondered if the variouse accents and voices were a group of people��How many of you are there?� after a long pause came the reply��ONLY one BUT�BUTT�BUTT� followed by a wispy hissing laugh and the sudden sound of water trickling�I could not see the figure of a man in the shadow�and water seemed to be leaking from in between his legs�Now I was certain something was very wrong�I then heard a muffled moan�I knew it was David�I walked back away from the side of the opened door and ran and jumped pass the door �DiD I SeE ARE ASS BUTT� A Mad laugh�
Damnit this guy was crazy�I continued to run away from the light into the darkness of the corridor�After a moment there was a room with a sky light�I entered it to devise my plan as to how to save David�I looked up at the windows on the roof and suddenly my foot tripped on something�I caught myself and looked down to see a horrible site�Bodies�what looked like Guards�Mental Patients�Doctors�everyone was in this room�there had been a massacre here�and now David was in the hands of what must be the murderer�suddenly the tip tap of approaching footsteps�I ducked down and decided to hide among the bodies�When I neared their cold dead outer chassis�s I noticed what looked like deep bite marks in all of them�The Guard must have a weapon I thought�and in his pocket I found a switch blade�I had an idea�The Footsteps grew closer�and I slowed my breathing�suddenly the sound of feet turning�It was headed right for this room��Oh no!� I thought to myself for a moment �what if it�s the madman bringing David�s body here to add it to the collection�� I opened the switch blade and began to cut�As the form of a man came into site from the dim light of the fogged over skylight A BURST OF WHITE PARTICLES!!! A SNEEZE!!!
Feathers! I jumped up and attacked the figure putting the empty pillow case on the villains head�When he had fallen to the floor and screamed �STOP!� I did so for a moment to get a better look at him�An American voice said �What the Hell are you doing?!� The Man was wearing a lab coat�He said �I�m a DOCTOR!� I thought for a moment and then took the pillow case off the mans head�I had the knife read as he rose up slowly and looked at me��Make one wrong move and your gone!� I said in a stern tone��Ok ok�What the hell are you doing here? You Know theres a mad man loose in the bulding you shouldn�t be here�He got loose killed everyone�hI managed to survive� �He has my friend� I added��Well seeing as what he did to the others wehI don�t think your friend has much longer to live�� �Well then I have to take action now� �whelhI might be able to help, Do you know where he has your friend?� �Yes I do�� �Ok, lets go!� I began to lead him to the corridor�by now the light was off in there�so I quickly put my arm in from the edge of the wall to feel for the light but suddenly something touched my hand�As I rapidly jolted my hand back to my body the lights turned on�the Doctor was inside��Sorry if I startled you, I knew where the switch was� �No problem� I said�The Room was long�it seemed like a Cafeteria�at the end the lights were flickering and dim�I slowly moved towards the flickering light with my switchblade held tightly in my palm�My hand shook a little�My breathing slowed�When I reached the flickering light I heard a muffled moan�I turned to the right where it had come from�a small side room lit only by the red glowing caffeinated drink dispenser inside and infront of it hung a body it�s pant pulled down and its face towards the machine�its arms tied together and on top��Oh my god� I whispered��David?� his bare bottom shook slightly as if to acknowledge his name�SUDDENLY THE LIGHTS TURNED ON!
I looked behind me to see the doctor�I let out a sigh of relief�the doctor moved into the room and saw David, he bent down and kissed David�s bare bottom as it shivered with fear�the doctor smiled strangely��I see you found hmeim� he giggled strangely��Looks like I see his BUTT BUTT� suddenly I noticed in the light the Doctors pants around his groin wet��Oh no�� I thought��OH YES� He said in a Texan voice�He rose up and put one hand on his own buttocks and one on David squeezing both at once and letting out a femanine giggle and sigh of glee and awe�I rose my knife up��Let him go man� �hme?� �Hmyou� I replied in a low voice��Hmdoesn�t look like hemh�im going to do that� All his accents were encompassed in that sentence and topped off with a horrible long laugh��H�im Going to let you WATCH� He watched me as he bent down once more and neared David�s bum�he opened his mouth to reveal his extremely sharp shaven teeth�his eyes went up into his forehead showing only white as they quivered and he shook�saliva streamed from his vile mouth and he opened wider�his tongue reared its ugly head then and escaped his mouth barely touching David�s right built in cushion�a hiss came from the back of the beasts throat�It was ready to snap its jaws�His eyes came back down to look at me�their color seemed to have change�pure Black�his pupils had dialated completely�I looked at the monster�s hands�sharp long nails�I readied my knife�for the final move�This thing must have been deadly fast if it managed to kill all those guards and doctors�I needed a distraction�the hiss grew louder and the muscles around its mouth seemed to turn stone hard as its eyes moved back up turning white�It was ready to bite��HEY!� I shouted�it didn�t flinch��Oh God�GOD�� I said�it�s hiss reached its maximum pitch, a horrible shreik like a neglected teapot on heat�SUDDENLY AT THE MOMENT IT HAD DECIDED TO BITE A HERALD SOUND FROM THE HEAVENS A SAVIOR! A LOUD Ppppooowwwneeed DAVID FARTED!!!!!!! AND TO TOP IT OFF IT SOUNDED LIKE OWNED!
The Beast Shot back it�s eyes returning front and center�David�s but shook as if to laugh in glory�The perfect distraction! I took immediate action and placed the knife harshly in the neck of the beast�it flayled and I pulled it out and quickly cut David�s bondage�David hopped with his pants down after me as quickly as he could�We Escaped the building�It was even more difficult to see outside now that it was dark and the fog�s condition had not altered�David hopped hopped hopped suddenly a warning from his anus�PISQUEEK! It farted in protest�the Beast had recuperated and was following us through the fog�We have to get home�Suddenly David fell�his buttocks squeeled like a pig about to meet its ends�I quickly turned but David had been dragged into the Fog�I ran back�I could see its form hunching over David but it constantly would shoot its head back�David�s bum was defending itself as best it could�I ran up to the beast and kicked it down and pulled David up�DAVID! I had no idea where we were or where the house was�All seemed lost as the beast rose from the ground and hissed��DAVID!�
Suddenly I remembered my joke from earlier�David�s Farts literally cleared the Fog! �DAVID, YOU MUST PUT YOUR ALL INTO IT�DAVID!!! YOU HAVE TO FART!!!� David Pushed and Pushed�and he pushed until he sighed��It�s no use� he said �I�m all out of gas� �DAMNIT!� But then David said �MY POCKETS!!! I HAVE SOME PEANUTS IN THERE!� �YES!!!!!� I Scrambled down to his pockets �HERE THEY ARE!� Suddenly a blast and I rolled back onto the grass�the peanuts flew in the air and onto the grass�David was pushed onto the floor as well�this time his butt met the ground landing on the fallen peanuts�the monster sniffed his groin �This isn�t what I want!� it hissed�David screamed�I pushed back and rose a little�The beast turned David around�It opened its mouth wide�David�s but made a small move with a large sharp sound�the beast stood up�and tried swallowing twice�and began coughing and holding its neck�it flayled and it rolled and it called for help�suddenly�it stopped�with a final sigh of breath it�s tongue fell out of its mouth and from its coat of saliva slid a small peanut�David�s ass had swallowed a peanut and shot it into the monsters mouth at the last second! �DAVID! WE DID IT!� Pwes Pweee Pdidpppp� A glow surrounded his buns which had just spoken on their own accord�We made it back home�all 3 of us�