It
cannot be said, that I Nathanial Peter Quele Royale have not known pain….
I was home that day from school, from my 3rd grade class with Mrs. Hart. The sickness was weakening me, I was missing so much school now because of chemo and docter appointments.It angered me sometimes when Mrs. Hart and other teachers asked me how I was feeling, what did they except? Oh I feel fine, no achually Mrs. Hart I am dieing. I can hardly breath anymore, I have constant nightmares and walking up a flight of stairs seemed as if it could kill me. Through it all though these thoughts had to stop, anger was bad, an emotion that lead to hate then death. What would my parents thnk if I said this to my teacher? They would be horrified..These thoughts occupied my blank mind as I pulled my ducky blankey to my throat. A white baby blanket with a stitched yellow duck puffy in the center, I had this blanket sense, oh I could no longer remember. Sometimes my parents wondered how I could just lay on our velvet green couch under my blanket starring at the cieling for hours. If onlythey knew what it was that I daydreamed, they would understand. It was my safe place, it came to me in a strange dream that had interupted a nightmare which was disturbing my sleep.
I was running into the forest, a merchant was tearing after me with guards in tow, I had stolen just a loaf of bread. Why was that so important?
The autmn leaves of brown, yellow and red brushed against my face as I slowed down hoping to lose them in this wood. These trees were old, my elvish blood was drawn to them, they drooped from the weight of their branches. I had lost my way by now in this wood, I just hoped so had the guards and that merchant. My blood was boiling, my inner self knew this wood though I had never for the life of me seen it before. Their now suddenly before me the path I had began to follow reappeared and I began to follow. Pushing the branches from my face with gentleness I managed to proceed into the open area in this wood. My eyes followed the rounding dirt path surrounded by wild roses and pansies to end at the tower. This tower was transparent glass throwing back the reflection of the intruder upon it's domain. At it's spiraled top the black telescope poked through towards the stars. To my left through the wild roses and pansies laid a small tranquil pool where one could bath. I felt unbelievably safe here, as if nothing could touch me here. I had come home..
I believe when a child grows up like i did, not even knowing their was such a thing as t.v or a computer your imagination is more readily explored. I could dream up whole worlds like my safe place and people, for other then reading and doing school work their was not much else to be done. Our family was very anti-modern, we all walked to school and work, we used no electricty if not out of neciscity. A wood stove was used along with no refiguarator, we only have a phone for purpose of others getting hold of us.
This day was also the day Drean was coming home, four years gone to university. Why did he have to come back? When he was gone the house was so much more at peace, no more argueing or yelling. No more nights of Drefan cutting himself and lieing in bed letting his life juice's drip into blood red satin sheets. I do not mess those nights when my father Mr. Quele and Drefan's father Mr. Royale lecturing Drefan on the sacredity of life. Drefan cared nothing for what we all believed so highly. But this hatred I feel is wrong, he is only misguided, confused. But we are so much happier with him around, he was a magnet of anger, saddness.Though was this really true? I could vaguelly remember Mr. Royale smiling when Drefan was home, now emotion never entered his blank masked face. It was odd, when Drefan was home Thom seemed so much happier as well. They all seemed it, those three, the oddities, what happened between them? Could it be more then just the love of two brothers and their father? My imagination as I was oftened told was thinking far to much into this.
Though this brought me back to my old thoughts, why did Drefan cut himself? What did he see in pain? What did he want from it? My eyes strayed to the kitchen across from me on the couch before the bay window. The kitchen knives were all held in a wooden holder, all ready. Standing shaking my ducky blanky fell to my feet as I looked around our living room at the velvet green furniture and wooden coffee table. The walls were painted seafoam and the pictures were old paintings of anscestors of centuries before. Into the kitchen I walked, the windows unshaded the only light used. The lower half of the kitchen walls were painted a perriwinkle blue and the top left white seperated by floral wallpaper. Hand taking a chief's knife from the holder, curiousity had brought to this. Alone with the will and a kitchen full of knives as my way I for the first time learned true and blessed pain. A “cutter” Drefan was called by my family and now I was one as well. One who thought there was no way out but to escape through the pain. The Pain of the flesh, over bares the pain of the heart and thus you are free…
No turning back, I could not now, not with the knife in hand starring at it’s steel blade. Laying it against the skin of my lower left arm I chewed on my lip letting it slice. All thought left my body, I gasped a moan also escaping my lips. I found out later that my eyes would have been blood red as they are every time I experience pain. I could see nothing but a haze of red, but I could hear.
A Doorbell’s ring.
Fumbling the kitchen knife slide through my blood soaked fingers to clatter to the kitchen floor. Blood sprayed from the blade over white tile as my eyes came into focus to stare. My eyes then moved in slow motion to the bubbling red froath upon my arm. It began to flow thick like syrup rolling off pale flesh to drop to the floor below.
Drip, Drip, Drip.
Lost in my horrid fascination of the blood flow, the door left to it’s own was pounded on harshly. Finally thought entered my befuddled mind through the fogged pain. Who could be at the door? It had to be an “outsider”, one not of the small net works of Ancients in Canada...
Fearing the worst that a member of the family had come home early or was on an unexpected break, I grabbed the small dishrag from the counter and with furious pressure clamped it down on my spitting arm.Once more that piece of oak was knocked on and with fear in my fast beating heart and my icy blue eyes I ventured forth from the blood splattered kitchen through the dimly candle lit living room to the entryway. Bringing forth my pain-laced fingers I laid them to rest curling around the gold-sprayed doorknob, the knocks sending tingling shoots of pain through each digit. What was I to do? What if this person ment me harm? Should I really open the door? Curiousity setting in I opened the door slowly my nose barely laying against the side of the door my baldhead glistening in the sun. My eyes went wide as a soft gentle freckled covered hand cupped my pale cheek.
“Nate?” so many questions were asked in that one word, but most of all why? Tears began to fall over pale curves to drop onto Thom’s tanned hand. Oh what had I done? The love of my life now knew I was an oathbreaker, a betrayer.
“I-I d-don’t know why” my confidence was gone tears were in a torrent as I tried to back away. Would Thom tell father? Worse yet what did he think?
“Beautiful,” tanned hands came from the cheeks to the bleeding arm staying me. I watched as Thom rubbed over my pale skin with gentle trembling fingers.
“D-do you like pain?” the question was unexpected and my curious icy blue eyes looked up into a pair of green. Did I? That was a question to consider, I had not thought of what I was doing once the blade had hit skin.
“Ye-yes, I do I guess,” what else could have been my strange reaction to it. Oh what did Thom think?
“I see,” he whispered watching me a moment before continuing, “their is nothing I can do to stop you little one. All I ask is for you to be careful. I would never wish to lose you.”
A smile lite my features and pulled my love into a loose embrace, how understanding my beloved was. I took his hand pulling him into the house closing the door behind. He loved me so much, I could ask for nothing more in such a husband.
“Are you feeling strange again?” Is that why you are at home? You miss much school already with chemo and docter appointments. ”
“I know, but I always feel so alone, so out of place amoung all the “outsiders” I like staying at home, the other kids scare me.”
Drawing Thom into the seafoam painted living room I gently pushed him onto the couch after I had locked the front door. Before sitting on his lap, Thom slipped off his backpack and highschool jacket. Wrapping pale arms about my beloved’s neck, “Why are you home? Do you have a spare class?” I trailed fingers through Thom’s orange mane.
“Your hair is so silky today, so pretty,” I giggled for in that moment nothing mattered, not even my bleeding arm.
“Yes I have a spare right now,”” Thom laughed at my comment on his hair, “make some friends then you wont be so alone. Though maybe if you wanted I could spend my lunch hours with you.”
Always their, always so willing to sacrifice himself for me, the idea was appealing at first. To look forward to school everyday but no...Thom had his own life and would have friends to spend time with.
“No, you don’t have to do that for me. I’ll be fine, I’ll try to get through the days on my own.”
Thom sighed and nodded drawing my pale slender form against his chest, “Alright if your certain sweetie,” an idea seemed to dawn on him a moment later, “You know Drefan is coming home any day now. He needs experience for getting a job, he could home school you.”
I perked up, “Really? Do you think he would do that for me?”
“Of course, that way he can teach you during the morning and early afternoon then work at night. It would work best that way.”
Lips brushed lips chastely arms holding tightly as the door at the front was unlocked and swung open.
“Of course the first thing that meets my eyes upon getting home is my brother making out with his little slave husband.” The words though harsh were brought down by the full glimmering teethed grin upon the blonde haired blue-eyed young man’s face.
“Drefan!” Thom smiled hugging me to him after drawing his lips away.
“Hello little brother, how has grade 9 been for you? Is high school as marvellous as you had hoped?” the 22 year old closed the door swiping gold blonde hair from his eyes.
“It’s fantastic! The work is much harder now but the atmosphere is amazing,” Thom had a permanent smile upon his features though with gradual gentle movements my arm was covered by a pillow, blocked from Drefan’s view.
Drefan came into the room taking off his brown leather jacket flinging it over the back of the love seat. He chuckled hearing Thom’s answer and casually rubbed over my baldhead.
“Someone has got to buy you a wig little slave,” he turned towards the kitchen.
“Is their anything to eat in this blasted place?” coming to the kitchen door way he stopped suddenly grabbing the siding as I chewed his lip. I had yet to clean the bloody mess on the floor in the kitchen.
“What the hell?!? Did you two nit wits know there is a bloody knife on the kitchen floor?” Drefan turned though as always his cool and collected self no shock showed except a raised blonde brow.
I looked up into Thom’s green eyes; “Should I tell him?” my fearful icy blue eyes began to water.
“He does it too, he will understand sweetheart,” of course Thom spoke the world of his brother. He never had anything bad to say about anyone.
“Drefan, I-I cut myself,” I brought up my arm from behind the pillow to show Drefan. It was now covered in a layer of drying blood.
Drefan turned around and walked to me both eyebrows cocked upwards looking down at my cut arm,”How was it?”
He turned then once more leaving both of us in the room to their shocked silence. The splash of water hitting the steel sink brought me up from Thom’s lap.
“I-I,” I began though I could not continue for the life of me. How was it? What was he supposed to answer that with? I already was feeling horrible about it, why should I tell another?
Thom stood up also wrapping both his arm about my waist kissing my cheek before letting go allowing me to move towards the kitchen to talk to Drefan. Drefan was by then walking towards the blood splattered blade and tiled floor, wet rag in hand.
“I-I liked it,” I whispered picking up the knife in my hand starring down at the blade trembling in fear.
Drefan kneeing down upon one knee cleaned the caking blood in wide sweeping circles his mind upon that task taking a few moments to respond. Finally it seemed he snapped out of old memories that pained him for upon his beautiful face a scowl was written. Turning he directed that scowl which slowly turned to a lopsided smile to me, “You did? Well then we better keep this secret from the ‘watch dogs’ .”
The old nickname for the our parents broke the serious mood bringing unexpected smiles to all our faces.
“It’s good to have you home Dref, we’ve all really missed you,” Thom came forward where he had leaned against the kitchen doorway to run his tanned slender fingers through his brother’s golden locks.
“Some how bro I doubt that highly. Not everyone of you has missed me,” he blew strands of his unruly gold hair from his dark blue eyes moving ever so slightly as to not let the other touch him.
“Ah come on. Dad and Mom have missed you, they talk of you coming home all the time. Don’t worry,” Drefan finished with a last vicious sweep at the white tiles. Though he stayed where he was looking at the cresses where blood had caked and dried and now was a washed out pink.
“Really? Was it threatening talk?” Drefan though jokingly saying had a serious expression on his face as he looked to his younger brother.
Drefan had always in one person been the sides of a coin, black and white, good and evil. He hated life but then still took joys from it, he was easy going but down right stressed on certain aspects. He always had you on your toes, and you never wanted to see him mad.
Motioning then in the moments of silence afterwards to me still so transfixed on the blade in my hands I did not see the motion, he sighed, “Nate? Hey little one grab me the cleaner. You certainly made a mess here, next time don’t drop the damn blade and use a bloody bowl!”
Thom snorted draping his arms around my tiny frame, “Jeez, you really have a low opinion of our parents don’t you?” seeing Drefan’s now scowling expression he threw the cleaner from the table beside him to Drefan.
Not turning Drefan caught it in the air with no hands his eyes turning to glare at his younger brother while the jug of cleaner floated between them both like a floating force field drawing the line of each brother’s domain. Finally I came out of my trance and watched fearfully wondering if they would fight, Drefan would win I knew. Drefan all his life had studied magic though no oneknew what type, but he was strong. The power radiated off of him, he had always been a loner in his years at public school but now was a sex god. With his dark blue eyes that held no emotion, his golden unruly hair and built frame he was what a lot of older woman dreamed of. Though he always these days wore a scowl and all that glowed in blue eyes was contempt, especially when looking at his brother and I.
“Thom I merely match the opinion they have of me, which is that I am an infestation to their house hold. If I died right now by my own hand they would think it was about time.”
Thom taking a step back starred at his brother in shocked horror shoulders slumped his arm coming to drop back at his side. The toll of an hour by the clock in the living room made Thom turn about his fists clenched.
He leaned down kissing my forehead whispering through clenched teeth, “Be safe,” before going towards the couch. Grabbing his coat and back pack he got them on slamming the door behind him as he left.
I shuddered looking from where Thom had been to where Drefan now was, “Wh-why did you have to say those things?” I felt at unease now with out Thom here to keep Drefan’s reins.
Drefan who had grabbed the cleaner from the air and was now viciously once more scrubbing at the blood muttered, “I thought it was about time he learned the truth. He’s 14 years old little brat, he deserves to know.”
“That way though? All at once? He has always known you and your parents never got along but did you have to state so clearly your hatred?”
“It was the only way, do you think I really wanted to shatter his wonderful illusion of me? The only person alive who still thinks a good person? No little brat I assure you I did not want to do that but my conscious set in damn it to hell. So I did, and now you reducible me for doing a good thing? Be damned in this house you can’t anything right!” he laughed hard turning and promptly throwing the rag covered in cleaner to me.
“Clean your own mess brat, I never asked for help from others when I did myself in,” he stood up as I caught it just before it whipped me in the face.
“If you excuse me I must gather some of my things, as I’m home now the “watch dogs” will be watching this house hold the ever more closely.”
I sighed walking into the kitchen-moving aside as Drefan passed kneeing down beginning to scrub at the blood caked cresses. Yes something was terribly wrong between the Royale men..what I had no idea.
Sitting before the curtain closed window upon the velvet green couch I picked at loose pieces of flesh around the blade wound. Hearing the basement door close I looked up seeing Drefan who whistled running tanned fingers through golden locks.
“The bleach is downstairs brat, let’s get rid of all of the evidence before they get home.”
Standing still a moment in the centre of the living room a look came into Drefan’s at that moment midnight blue eyes. He looked almost content and happy, strange emotions to be coming from those usually angered eyes.
“Then wait for me in the bathroom, I’ll clean up that cut for you so our parents wont notice,” he then made his way towards the entry way grabbing up his boots.
I nodded standing slowly watching Drefan curiously wondering where this spark of kindness came from. Drefan taking this look of curiosity as of wondering where Drefan was going he held the sprayed door knob.
“I’m getting some things from the garage,” once more the kindness entered brilliant blue eyes and softly he finished with, “I’ll be right back Nate.”
He exited through the oak door while I watched him my brow furrowed and hands shaking. Never having been good at suppressing anger I bit my lower lip hard causing shoots of pain to go through my form. Drefan knew Nate was the nickname Thom and only Thom was allowed to call me. It was like calling me love or sweetheart, which he did sometimes call me. Drefan confused me so much with his supposed anger and hatred at all things and then suddenly these moments of kindness. Where did it all come from? Letting my anger pass I calmed myself.
Hearing the garage begin to electrically open I walked into the hallway not four steps before opening the basement door looking to my left into my room. Quickly then I walked down the stairs closing the door behind me. The stairs were wooden and painted long ago a blue grey that was slowly chipping to show the gorgeous wood stain beneath. Holding the wooden railing painted the same dull shade of grey blue I came down stairs. The walls were painted all white over the cement giving the basement a bit more of the personality it would otherwise been missing. The floor was cold cement grey though covered by a maroon strip of second hand carpet. I stepped onto the carpet wiggling cold bare toes listening to the washing machine and dryer. Mother always seemed to be down here folding laundry, the endless pile of laundry. I loved to help sort the light and dark clothes and hand her a pile to put in. She always appreciated the help a smile would be upon her youthful features and Mrs Royale would send me upstairs to get a cookie. Even at my young age I knew both woman’s tiredness from working as nurse’s all day and coming home to clean, cook and try to sleep though being on call. Many times in the middle of the night one or both would be called away only half awake.
Walking down the maroon strip of carpet I looked out the small windows that let in the shinning sun. Being blinded by it I covered my icy blue eyes walking past Thom’s closed sable blue door. His first name was carved into the top and stained to stand out. I ran fingers over the carved in letters upon that sable blue door lost a moment in thought. How was it that Drefan and Thom were blood related brothers? They were like the sun and the moon, Drefan the harsh over baring sun and Thom the gentle serene Moon. Coming away from the sable door of blue I followed the maroon carpet as it turned towards Drefan’s room and the storage area. Normally Drefan’s door of stained black would have been closed and locked. Now it stood open inviting, the light of the two small table lamps inside adding to the eeriness of the black painted room. Inside I vaguely remembered their would be the bed, which would be neatly made with blood red silk sheets and blanket. The pillows would be maroon silk all four against the wall of black. At the doorway to the room I sneezed at the amount of dust coming off the objects within. It had been four years sense anyone had touched anything in that room. When Drefan had left he had changed the lock and kept with him the only key. What had he so wanted to keep hidden? More of his secrets from the family he despised? Anything found therein would I no longer be shocked over. I knew at only seven years old that Drefan was different then the rest of my family. I looked inside the eyrie room sneezing from the amounts of dust coming towards me. Upon the blood red silk covered bed a black suitcase laid flipped open, two pairs of leather pants folded beside it. Inside white muscle shirts and tight blue jeans were all that it seemed Drefan owned. Taking another step into this room I turned seeing the shelf stained black to blend into the wall. On tippy toes I leaned up fingers curling around the edge of the shelf so I could see the top two shelves. The bottom two held nothing of much interest, just two university texts, some pictures of various family members and a few candles. Eyes peering over the shelve the My curious eyes came upon some strange things. A black gem that resembled a diamond laying upon a plate of what looked like dust of the same thing. Two small pieces of copper tubing on a plate of what looked like salt. Beside these were a white feather and a chicken bone. Growing up in the family that I had I knew that these and the other grotesque items on the top shelf were used in magic. But what kind of magic would use some strange and disgusting things? Allowing myself to come down from tippy toes to look around this now so interesting room I saw the desk. This desk was also stained black along with the chair and upon it was a pile of tattered books. Where they were they were so easy for me to look at and read from. Shuffling over bare cold concrete I opened the top book taking a moment the read the title.
“The arts of Necromancy.”
I let the book’s hard cover fall with a thud of dust puffing into my face. Turning I whimpered as I wiped with fists at stinging eyes. Necromancy? The arts of killing, harming and controlling the dead, how could Drefan even have those books in his room? Though being so young curiosity won out and opening the book once more I skimmed over the pages with blurred eyes. Skipping the first few pages I came to an index of the spells taught in the book in front of me.
Spell Index
Level 1:
Curse: to cause misfortune and pain to the humanoid target
Weaken: causes the humanoid target’s bodily organs to become weak with sickness and age
Harm: Pain from a negative black energy ball
Life Drain: To steal the health of another living creature
Bleeding Eyes: to destroy another humanoid target’s vision slowly and painfully
Level 2:
Awaken Spirit: To bring back the spirit of a dead humanoid to it’s body for a short period of time.
Rot: Destroys the muscles and bones in the target’s body
Cause Fear: causes any living target to fear and/or flee from you
Ghoul’s Touch: stuns a single humanoid target for a short amount of time.
Level 3:
Astral Projection: Projects your mind into a subconscious plain, if powerful enough the plain of your choosing.
Animate Dead: create a skeleton or zombie from a corpse.
Chilled Touch: a touch from a black negative energy covered hand causes great pain
Imprisonment: When you touch another and cast this spell the person is in suspended animation for a period of time.
Level 4:
Soul Bind: You draw the soul from a newly dead humanoid target and imprison it in a black diamond.
Clone Soul: If your dead minion is destroyed clone it’s soul and it will be created anew.
Corrupt Dreams: You or a messenger is sent into an identified person’s dreams and destroys all positive found within.
Gentle Keeper: To preserve the remains of a dead person or creature so it does not decay for a short period of time.
Level 5:
Contagion: Infects another humanoid with any chosen disease, the more lethal the harder to cast.
Death Steal: you draw forth the last bit of life energy from a dieing person to fuel your own necromantic powers.
Level 6:
Destruction: to destroy entirely a chosen target with no hope of resurrection and the soul of the chosen if humanoid is lost forever.
Biting my lower lip so lost in my horrified fascination I did not hear what was about me. From the stairs footsteps sounded and a voice called, “Nathanial? Brat where are you? I thought you would be in the bathroom by now.”
The stairs ceased creaking and down the maroon carpet Drefan came closer, finally looking up I slammed the tome’s hard cover down dust flying. I covered my lips coughing hard looking up with red rimmed watery eyes watching as Drefan stepped up to the door. Hands resting on both sides of the door frame eyes jet black in their rage he was scowling. I thought before this that I had known Drefan’s anger, his scowls, I was wrong. Stepping into the room no noise was heard from leather booted feet as Drefan’s hand closed around my wrist. Propelling me to the bed where I pushed him down he stood glaring down at me as I laid their eyes a mixture of horror and fear.
“So what well it be little slave? Well you run to your parents with stories of horror?” he clicked his tongue in distaste as I laid their my eyes still starring up at him boldly. I was not going to be made into some cowering servant, a slave.
“You are to bold little one. One day you will say my name with the utmost fear on your tongue! But for now..” I then and only then began to tremble.
Coming to the side of the bed he grabbed either side of the my skull pulling me up by his short but sharp nails digging in. I sqweaked in pain as I was pulled into a up right position.
“You like pain so much little one? Let me teach you pain, for cutting yourself will never measure to what another can do to you.”
Hands still resting on both sides of the my forehead he began to laugh hands covered now in a black power, the world was spinning. Out of control, shrieks sounded in my young mind, pain..what else could I call it as it flashed over and over? Then all thoughts disappeared but that of survival, head tossing back, neck snapping. Falling back onto the blood red silk, on my side now in a ball vomit of blood coming up from my lips. No stopping of the pain, only noise of inhuman screams that at that time I did not know came from myself and endless laughter of Drefan. Finally hands removing I vomited one last time the blood seeping into the silk beside me as if it had never been there. If I had a mind to think with at that moment I would have finally understood why the bed was this way. The blood that flowed on would never be seen in the silk.
“Imbecile! You love pain so much now?” he stood back watching me lay their body shuddering in a puddle of it’s own fluids.
“You will never tell of what you have seen, never! Understand brat? If you do I will kill you and no remorse will come from my heart at that act, do you understand?” he growled as he got no response crawling onto the bed.
Coming now to my side I was still lost so in the mental pain, the insanity of it all he back handed me only wishing to get my attention. I cringed trying to slither away but a hand grasped me around the throat, “Nore will you speak of this room, of what you have seen. The books, the items they are our secret now little one. Something to bind you to me, along with our love of pain, it’s so ironic how much you are like me when I hate you so much.”
Bringing me up by the neck my icy blue dialated they starred beyond Drefan in their insanity, “Remember little one I do this out of what our family calls “love.”
Hearing a word, the word that was my life finally something snapped within me sending me flying back into this world.
“Love?” I shrieked now resisting once more flailing in Drefan’s hold, “You bastard!” tears fell down my cheeks as the blow to my jaw sent my head rocking back on my shoulders.
“Why do I try?!” Drefan yelled in disgust throwing me back onto the bed as upstairs the door opened. I rolled himself into a ball eyes starring into the blackness of the walls losing myself once more.
“If you say a thing remember I will kill you,” he turned exiting leaving me there where I began to sob.
Moaning I opened my eyes my body felt as if it had been ran over by a car..what had happened? I whimpered as I felt a hand upon my jaw and before my eyes my mother’s worried face appeared.
“It’s alright my little love,” she was gentle undoing the damage Drefan had done to his jaw and mind. Behind her Thom paced tears streaming down his cheeks hands balled at his sides in hidden rage.
What had happened? Why did I hurt so? All memories at that moment were gone.
In the background in another room three voices raised, “Why Drefan? He’s a child for the spirits sake? You monster!” two males voices and a female’s all in rage.
What..? I then screamed as memories hit home the pain fresh once more.
“Nate,” Thom was by his side squeezing his hand, “By the spirits please make the pain stop Linda please!” his voice was ragged in his worry and fear.
“I’m trying Thom, the magic Drefan did, it such that I have never seen before,” her hands rested gently on my forehead searching for a way to stop the pain.
“I want someone to hurt like I have, to go through what you have put me through,” a calm collected voice, “you live what you learn do you naught?”
Screams of rage from a woman and a chilling laughter, was I going insane? I felt it so, the world was not whole any longer, it was broken, it seemed I had lost something..A vital part of my humanity, was it my sanity? No..it was my innocence..Drefan had made me no longer a child that lived in a world of fantasy. I now knew what hatred was, what pain really felt like and most of all I knew that question my parents always asked. Why? Why did Drefan hate me so? Why did he hate life? Love? Humanity? My eyes starred up at Thom a strange haunting calm to them through the layers of pain. Yes it was innocence that Drefan had stolen from me, my innocence.
