Joels Penis - Look, if Joel is really drunk, he'll stick that thing anywhere, ok? Yeah, its gross, but isn't it best that I warned you?
Tree Beavers - We got these weird things in the woods here. We don't know what the hell they are, so we call them Tree Beavers. These creepy things that live in trees that sort of look like beavers, but aren't. They were responsible for 2 deaths citywide last year, and gnawed the shit out of Doug's tent.
The River and all the creatures within - The river is closer than you think. Sometimes some of the toxic crap washes up on shore not too far away, and someone may eat it. Stupid but true.
"Chad" - a strange creature of the woods, neither man nor animal, but simply a beast known only as "Chad". Many believe "Chad" is indestructable, and he may very well be. Late nights one may hear his call, searching for his beloved Stacy. A yelp, or a call of "Can you dig it?" can be heard as he approaches. His prescence is nothing short of astonishing, and he stills all in his path as you can simply feel his approach (when he wants you to that is). W a t c h o u t.
Little pussy-cheapass-chronicmasturbating-bastards - There's these wimpy guys that may try to beat on you if you are alone and there are about six or more of them. Actually, they'll hit you from behind with something like a pipe or a beer bottle and then just gang up on you like the worthless little loser brats they are. You may also find them having sexual relations with their family members. If there is more than one of you however, you rarely have to worry.
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